confused about my ex. long post any help please!

[cmg1990]

So I was with someone for a year, he lives in a different country. We split up in 2013 as his family did not agree with our relationship and wouldn't allow us to ever get married because he is Muslim and I am not. I was devastated and so was he. We tried to stop contact but it only lasted a week and so we have spoken everyday all day for 2 and a half years. I still went to visit him last year 3 times and stayed with him because I love him and couldn't see myself with anyone else and I have the most amazing time when I am with him. I haven't had sex or kissed anyone else since I met him, even though we haven't been together for the past year and a half. And he says he hasn't either (I do believe him) anyway, the past week or so I find myself not getting jealous or angry about anything (like if he is talking to a girl or of he doesn't text for a day) even though I used to. I don't know if this means that I am slowly falling out of love with him, or its because I know that he isn't doing anything with someone else (I trust him maybe) or that I know that he is going to eventually text me. I am suffering anxiety and mild depression so my head is all over the place too. So that could be a factor? I am going to see him in may and I don't know whether to just wait and see how I feel when I see him again to decide what is going on in my head? Also my sex drive has completely dropped and I also don't know if this is because I am used to not having sex unless I am with him. Any advice would be great thanks.

[pippy longstocking]

Are you getting angry because this is going nowhere ?

 

or do you feel that things will change with his parents ? I mean do they know you go and visit with him ?

 

it feels a very frustrating siutation and I hope to god you are not going to spend and another 2 and a half years like this for him to marry a muslim lady .

[cmg1990]

His parents don't know I visit him. But his brothers and sisters do. My mum had a theory that he was waiting for his parents to pass (as harsh as it sounds) so he could do what he wanted, because they expect him to marry a Muslim women and she has to then, look after them. He told my mum it was not fair to ask me to wait for him so that's why he hasn't asked. But I find myself waiting, and also we act and everyone thinks we are in a relationship he also tells people that I am still his girlfriend (I only found this out recently)

His mum had tried to get him to marry, introducing him to girls who they think are suitable, but he had told them he doesn't want to marry. I was hoping if they can see he is not willing to marry who they want him to marry then they will eventually realise how much he wants to be with me and give their approval.

But as I Said, I'm not sure if my feelings are changing or if I just trust him more now?

[Hollyj]

You're wasting your life! Be with someone who wants you!

[pippy longstocking]

I just think the whole situation could end very badly for you ... in that , how long can you keep going like this ..what if they do talk him into a muslim marriage ..I am sure the depression and anxiety is coming from his whole situation ..you have nothing to plan , no light at the end of the tunnel ..no future you can put your name to ..its a kind of limbo ..but this is your life ...and all I want to say darling is ..choose your path carefully , I know you love him ..but this is doing you no good ..and while you wait it out , life is passing you by .

[cmg1990]

I know you're right in what you're all saying. But I know he loves me, and I know he wants me. He tells me enough times. He told me he wants me to meet someone else so I can be happy, but if I show interest or even just start talking to another guy he gets so jealous, upset and angry. I was going to give him an ultimatum, I was going to visit him this year again, because my friends are also going, and just let him know I can't live like this anymore. Maybe then he'll do what he wants and not what his parents want. Or maybe not. We'll see.