csdude55 Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Someone please remind me that it's a bad idea for me to send my ex a cute little picture on Facebook that says "I miss you like a squirrel misses his nuts". For those that don't know, she and I had a very deep, emotional connection, but she broke up with me 2 weeks ago to reconcile with the (borderline abusive) father of her children. She made it pretty clear that she's sacrificing her own happiness for her children, so it's hard for me to get past it. We haven't spoken since Dec 18. Last night, I made a comment on a friend's pic on Facebook, and this morning she posted on it behind me (didn't say anything to me, just commented on the pic). But when her name and picture showed up in my notification area... my heart skipped like 4 beats. I thought for a second that she had messaged me. Not being able to talk to her is killing me. Especially today, when all I want is to bring in the New Year with her. But sending her a message, even just a cute picture, is a really, really bad idea. Right? Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Worse than bad...horrific. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Don't send the pic. Delete her from FB. Go enjoy New Years. Hope 2015 is an amazing year for you. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 It is only cute in your mind. In reality, it is a desperate and transparent ploy. You are a better guy than that. She has made her decision. Continue with NC and guard against your subconscious inventing reasons to reach out to her. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Oh my goodness. No no no. Trash your phone and pour soda on your keyboard first. BTW No. She broke to return to a destructive relationship. ?! That whole selfless for the kids bit is carp. Oh, because the kids will enjoy having a mean cuss around? I don't think so. Nobody needs a martyr nor a self destructive intimacy avoidant truth-bender. You can do better than that. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Get off the computer. Go hand out with people in real life. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Is it worth me posting ... no no no no no no .... its a hard time ... we have just seen new year in here in the uk and it triggered my emotions as well ...for many reasons .... you just hold on to your pride my darling ....this will pass ...x Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 It is a bad idea -- I'm sorry. It will just come accross as desperate. Your best bet is to turn off the computer and the phone and do whatever you have to do to avoid contacting her. Go out with friends, watch movies, run around the block a few times, go for a drive -- whatever it takes. I know the feeling. I had too restrain myself many, many times and not contact my ex. It got easier over time. I have no desire to now. Hang in there. Link to comment
mines Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Very sorry for your pain, but don't do it. In fact, my suggestion is to turn off your phone and put it up in a high cabinet somewhere. Talk to friends, talk to people on ENA, but do not post a pic, or contact her in any way. Holidays can suck when one is alone/single, especially after a recent breakup. I'm alone this NYE, breakup long long past, kinda lonely but I'm at peace. My life is very full and at least no one has any power over my emotions. Peace & lack of sorrow, count for a lot! I wish you the best, in 2015 and beyond. I hope true love and great peace come your way - maybe 2015 is your year to go after it! (hugs) Link to comment
csdude55 Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Thanks, all. I know emailing her is a terrible idea, which is why I came here instead. I needed somebody to smack me around a little and bring me back to my senses Words just can't express the depression I feel right now. Not just because of her, but a culmination of several different things right now. I'm feeling like everything important in my life is out of my control, I feel stuck in a bad position that I can't get out of, and it's just getting worse every day. I had about a month in the last 13 years where I felt truly happy, and that was when I was with the aforementioned ex without any real complications. Right now, I just wish I could go back in time and live that month over again. I wouldn't take it for granted this time. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Seriously, put the keyboard away and interact with people. Link to comment
csdude55 Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Seriously, put the keyboard away and interact with people. You say that as if I have friends that give a crap Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You say that as if I have friends that give a crap Maybe a goal you might want to shoot for in 2015. Build a network of friends. First year they may not be your best friend but you can go out and socialize and have other outlets of human contact. I started this goal 3 years ago and now have a good circle of friends with a couple being very close friends. This is doable but you have to get out of the house and mingle. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You say that as if I have friends that give a crap Sorry to hear that. Can you do some meetup events this upcoming year? This is a good way to befriend singles. Link to comment
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