Faye88 Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Hi, Ive not posted for a while. It really helped me at the time....my ex walked out, storey in earlier posts....I have held out and not contacted him, lost my job, moved home, even dated! I think about him everyday, and miss him so much, but Ive done nothing to try and get him back. Starting to feel at least that there is some hope when suddenly...a text, a facebook message, saying he has tried to fall out of love with me but can't, loves and misses me, is confused, in pain, can't live without ne??? I ignored it. Then middle of the night he calls me twice, I don't pick up, he leaves a message, he's crying, he wNts me. I do t respond. Another message asking if we can at least meet and talk? I waited 24 hours as im still upset and angry at the way he broke up, but the I texted him back and said I loved and missed him and maybe we could meet to talk. Straight away he texted back saying he will meet me anywhere any time. I don't know what to do? Im so scared he will do this again as he has done so many times befire. I really can't go through it all again. What should I do? How an I trust him after he just so cruelly cut me out of his life? Should I take a chance and follow my heart or follow what my head is telling me? I do really love him. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Follow your head. He has already done this numerous times before. You are not back at square one..YET...but you will be. Nothing has changed. Dear lord...I just checked your back thread...he has done this 14x!!! He is a con artist. He wants access to your money and knows he just has to say the right words and you will take him back. Do not meet up with him. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 if you hadn't said said he has done this a lot already I was all geared up to say second chances do work ....however ........I think you know the answer ... never mind your head or your heart ...what does your gut say ? Link to comment
Faye88 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 I know, my gut says don't look back. But he can be so wonderful and the way Im thinking is he suffers with depression. I wouldn't run if he had broken his leg! I could just hear what he has to say maybe without making any decisions ?? Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 No....no....no. He can talk you into anything. If this was a 2nd chance...I would say go for it. It is a 15th chance. He is mentally instable...not depressed. And it will result in the same scenario as the last 14. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 14 are you kidding me woman Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 I looked at your back threads and agree with mhowe about this. You do understand the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting another result right? The guy wants money from you, of course he's going to spout all of the lines he has spouted off before because they work. Don't believe he's wanting to use you again? Tell him you are so happy to hear from him, that you need his help desperately now, because you are broke and have no money. That you are overjoyed to hear of his love for you and having helped him so many times before you are relieved and glad to hear he wants you back, because now it's his turn to help you. Listen to the sound of crickets chirping in the background as he suddenly disappears so fast it leaves a vacuum behind. Bonus--he will never call you again. And yes, the guy is a certified lunatic. And not because of "depression" although I have to say I have depression and I know plenty of people who do. None of them treats others the way this guy does or acts like he does either. But criminal sociopaths who enjoy manipulating others and destroying them? Yeah, he's got plenty in common with the few of those I've known in my lifetime. He just uses depression as to du jour excuse he knows you'll buy into. My suggestion is you go get yourself into therapy to find out why you would even continue to give yourself the illusion there is anything normal about this guy, trustworthy, that he will ever be a good prospect at anything but soul-sucking gaslighting of anyone who is unfortunate enough to let him cross their paths. Seriously, you need help if you think "Oh after 14 times and insane things like flipping out on me repeatedly and so on and so forth, suddenly he's a sane, normal, loving guy???? Why would you do that to yourself? No, wait, I shouldn't be asking you that question. You should be asking you that question. It's a brand-new year, don't you want a sane happy one instead of this crappy excuse of a con artist trying to do you in? And yeah, I read your threads and yeah, that's exactly what he is. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 I know, my gut says don't look back. But he can be so wonderful and the way Im thinking is he suffers with depression. I wouldn't run if he had broken his leg! I could just hear what he has to say maybe without making any decisions ?? NO DEPRESSION IS NOT AN EXCUSE .. I have about 67 mental health issues and there is no excuse to treat anyone like that * It's not what you have , it's how you treat people that matter* Link to comment
brightsidemrs Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Definitely follow your head!! Don't meet with him again! I agree with mhowe: he could talk you into anything. You really should limit yourself from any contact with him. You should block him on Facebook, delete him from any other apps, maybe even changing your phone number. If you don't put a definite end to this now, he'll keep on coming back to you with lies, and you will only suffer and get stuck with him forever. Maybe you can't forget him yet, but you probably should ask yourself if you're in love or just not over by how much he's hurt you Link to comment
Faye88 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Thank you all, your replies are not unexpected, I thought he might be bi polar? I am a lot stronger now and my friends think I'm mad to even consider takng him back, all except one friend who agrees he has a mental problem and can't rationalise how he behaves towards me, but knows him and says he is a good man and inTime as he feels more secure his leaving will stop! She is with a guy who behaved as he did at the beginning of their relationship and they have been together 10 years now, im not upset any more just confused Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 He has stormed out on you, called the cops on you. He has neither a car nor job. He has spent YOUR money on his son. I think you need to listen to the majority of your friends and these posts. As noted..Shooting Star as diagnosed mental illness and is as sweet as any human I have met. This man is a con. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 My suggestion is you go get yourself into therapy to find out why you would even continue to give yourself the illusion there is anything normal about this guy, trustworthy, that he will ever be a good prospect at anything but soul-sucking gaslighting of anyone who is unfortunate enough to let him cross their paths. Seriously, you need help if you think "Oh after 14 times and insane things like flipping out on me repeatedly and so on and so forth, suddenly he's a sane, normal, loving guy???? I agree. You need to be seeing a therapist ... not this guy. I think his treatment has been so poor and nothing that a healthy woman would accept that you might want to be checked to ensure you aren't having some mental health issues as well. Link to comment
QWit Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 I'm with the others. No!! Do not meet up with him and keep going on with you life. This dude does not want you at all.. Also, stop making excuses for his behavior. That guy is a jerk. You need to listen to the friends who said don't let him back in. They are the ones that are truly looking out for your best interest. Also, you may need some therapy to figure out why you even want him. He is definitely no prize. Link to comment
panther Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Seriously, 14 times? and you're considering meeting with him? Really? If you're not convinced yet, ask everyone's opinion and you will surely hear the exact same answer from everyone. Don't even bother talking to him. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You may have a mental disorder yourself if you keep going back to someone who has treated you this way FOURTEEN times! Link to comment
Cadence44 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 He's going to do it again. You keep approaching this as if you get over just one last hurdle, it will be peaceful and he will love you and stay and be reasonable and work through problems like a normal person would. It's not true. That's just your fantasy, and he has shown you over and over that he can not and will not be that person. Step back and look at the reality of who he is. It's not going to get better. Don't meet him. You've already last so many weeks, and you'll just be back at square one. Empower yourself that YOU are making the decision to stay away from HIM. Since I know you lack some confidence, use his admission to boost yourself up, to confirm what you thought you knew, and keep going - in the opposite direction from him. Also, you know why this is so tempting for you. It's not the man, it's the symbolism of what he represents to you: worth, value, and love. You have incorrectly assigned him as the only source of that. You shouldn't be looking to him for those things (in reality winning him over is no prize) and you can give those things to yourself. You should not be looking externally for those things or you will continue to be attracted to unhealthy people. Continue NC and continue to work on yourself so you can choose healthier relationships for yourself in the future. Link to comment
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