Will you ignore them? HONEST ANSWERS FROM MEN PLEASE.

[ken0001]

So my question would be this :

 

 

If your ex-girlfriend meets up with you again (i dated her for 4 years even though this is our 3rd break up), you and her having "dates" and watching movies with her, and she's not REALLY trying to put you as a second option. And let's say that it's been already more than a year but less than 2 years that you've separated. And she tells you the things I'll write below after asking if she's interested to be with you again, will you just ignore her completely? Or just reply to her in a very NOT NEEDY or CLINGY way when she messages you?

 

(Reason : Look, the things is, if I didn't have enough feelings for you anymore, I wouldn't ask you out to watch movies or even grab dinner. In reality, I do not want to give up the hope between us getting back together. Your changes are very noticeable (all positive changes). It's just that, If I want to go back with you, I want to be totally sure that this is it for sure. As of now, I can't give you the commitment that you're asking me to give you. Don't worry. Believe me or not, there won't be any other guy and there hasn't been any other guy. Because right now, I'm guarding myself so that when the time comes, I'll be ready more than ever.)

 

Change that she noticed greatly : I will admit my mistake. Though it may have been intentional or unintentional, I somewhat kept on throwing right back at her what she did to me (leaving me twice) which I now know was a very d*ck move. I apologized personally for that last Friday, November 7. But she said that that really wasn't the problem anymore. The problem is that right now, she just wants to be ready. The past doesn't concern her anymore. And she has already forgiven me and she knows that I didn't really mean to do those things. NOTE : All of those were verbal. All of our fights were verbal. We didn't engage in any physical fights whatsoever. We didn't cheat on each other not even once. NOT EVEN ONCE.

 

Basically, what she's trying to say is that she's already at that stage where "BF/GF" just won't cut it anymore. The same goes for me. I want to settle down with someone right now, and that someone is her. We're both 24. Me going 25 this december and she going 25 next february.

 

What I'm Doing not contacting her in any way UNLESS she contacts me first. I already told her as to why I'm not being the first one to do so and my reason is that because I value and respect her space and I'm not trying to rush her in any way and that I don't want to appear clingy towards her. She replied with a thank you. Mind you, this wasn't in texts or emails. It was a talk face-to-face. This happened last November 7 in the evening. We went out just to grab a sandwich in SUBWAY.

 

She still sends me messages thru text from time to time though not that frequent. But we talk nonetheless.

 

So back to the question earlier, what would you guys do? Would you just ignore her totally when she texts you until she has a firm decision? Or will you respond to her texts in a casual way and just go with the flow?

 

YES, I DO WANT HER BACK IN MY LIFE. But I have no idea if I'm on the right track. I just want to know how would you guys handle this situation.

 

Cheers.

[JA0371]

A back story would help more..,

 

Also...who initiated contact first after the final breakup? How long were you in Nc at that point?

[ken0001]

A back story would help more..,

 

Also...who initiated contact first after the final breakup? How long were you in Nc at that point?

 

Backstory : Dated this girl for 4 years. This being our 3rd breakup. I didn't beg or plead or cry when she broke up with me last year. Had a girlfriend last January 2014 which only lasted 8 months. And during those 8 months, she was still contacting me. Honestly, right now, we both knew that we were still somewhat immature back then, BOTH OF US, that contributed to the breakup 3x. We are both guilty that we didn't really grow as a person when we got separated since we also got back together after 6-7 months apart.

 

Who initiated contact first after the final breakup? -> She did

 

How long were you in Nc at that point? -> It was LC then NC then LC then NC. Longest NC that I did was about 3 months. She was texting me, I ignored. She got a hold of me in YM, I ignored. She then stalked my online buy/sell PC parts profile online. Breakup happened last June 2013. She broke NC sometime about November 2013 which continued even before I paid attention to her last September of this year.

[trust101]

You need to reword this as it's quite difficult to comprehend. But from what I gather, being broken up that many times is a vicous cycle that is bound to repeat itself & lead you being back here & feeling this way. Also, adults do not play games like this. She initiated contact, you did, you hang out but don't know what that means. Adults have a clear understanding of one another & their intentions. Sounds like drama city to me.