Why does it keep coming back?

[JackJackxD]

I've been dumped by my Ex-GF 1.5 months ago, we dated for 2.5 years and I really loved her. Perhaps I didn't know how to love her, I kept repeating the same mistakes (not cheating), and eventually she got tired and disappointed to the point where she decided to break up with me for good. She made it clear that she does not want to reconcile and has lost feelings for me. However, when I asked her about future chances, she says she won't know what happens in the future. She said she wanted to be friends, and knows that I want to be more, and told me to give her space.

 

I did attempt to chase her after on the 4th day of break up. That attempt was shot down, and I went NC for a week and a bit before university started. Since we had the same course/same university, NC was not possible anymore. However, despite seeing each other, we barely had any sort of conversation besides Hi and Bye. I then did another attempt to ask her for another chance, I asked her for a "talk", however it was shot down before I got the chance since she told our mutual friend that she made it clear she didn't want to reconcile and she would ignore me if I kept asking her about the same stuff. In the end I had to make up a topic to talk about so she doesn't know my real intention.

 

The second attempt really broke my heart, because that even after 3 weeks of break up, she did not have any feelings for me. I accepted the fact that she does not care about me anymore and tried to move on. After that, for around 4 weeks, I hanged around our friends (we have the same friendship group in university) and felt no pain at all. I laughed, had fun, focused on working. Although sometimes I did think about her, it wasn't anything major. I really thought I've moved on and healed, until 1 week ago.

 

For some reason she started being more hostile/mean to me than usual last week. I put up with it with a smile, and pretended nothing happened, but it really did hit me. I started thinking about her again, missing her loads for some reason. Now I'm just depressed and upset over the fact that the chances are slim to none for me to get back together with her, but my feelings for her are still there.

 

Does this happen to anyone else? When you think you've accepted everything, it comes back to slap you twice a hard.

 

Note: Starting from Day 4 of the break up, I've "moved forward". I've become more responsible, hard-working and serious. I've also picked up a lot of habits, some good, some bad. However, I feel like I am moving forward in my life, whilst carrying my feelings for her behind my back. Yes, I'm making changes, I'm improving, but I haven't let go.

[Clinton]

Why are you still in contact with her. You won't start to heal until you cut all ties.

 

Also, it's only been a month and a half, don't expect miracles. It takes a lot of time to get over a breakup.

 

Get her out of your life. Hanging on as friends won't increase your odds of reconciliation. It will just bring you pain.

[SooSad33]

Yes, it's all normal. These thoughts/feelings will come about in 'waves', for a while yet. It's normal after a break up.

 

The best way to work on accepting and healing is to have as little to do with her as possible. No contact, nothing anymore.

Don't try to remain friends. that doesn't work either.. until all feelings are gone.

 

You're just going to need some time to work on it all. I know how painful it is. But we have no choice but to accept.

 

So keep taking care of YOU. Good to get out with friends, relax, get your rest & eat well.

 

One day at a time...

[JackJackxD]

Why are you still in contact with her. You won't start to heal until you cut all ties.

 

Also, it's only been a month and a half, don't expect miracles. It takes a lot of time to get over a breakup.

 

Get her out of your life. Hanging on as friends won't increase your odds of reconciliation. It will just bring you pain.

 

As I said, we go to the same university and share the same friends there. So it would be unfair if I cut all ties with my friends because of my own personal relationship with my Ex.

[No1]

Ahh, the problem is you think she left a door open for you. When she said that she didnt know about the future you took it as "Yes baby, come after me and Ill come back to you because I love you more than anything in the world" You didnt hear the part that said "We are done" Now you are wondering why she is hostile to you? She said we are done and you came after her TWICE and she was harsh because you didnt hear her the previous 3 times..

Dude, its over. Not over for a month, not over until next week.. its over..