friends with benefits BUT could it be more?

[SinghNatasha]

no worries weathergirl and thanks but oh man you guys the funniest thing happened.. life is strange... so my ex and i are back in touch. as of last night... and this guy adam, in the morning he messages me saying hes been thinking about me a lot (remember we have that concert to go to tonight), and hes basically saying al the things ive been wanting him to say the last couple of weeks! ... and in my head now im like. whoa. because my ex, the one im still really really into, lives in another country. he moved recently. and i will only be seeing him in december, if i do. he and i were at the point of marriage pretty much when we broke up. and now here is this guy, suddenly starting to show interest ad telling me he dreamt about me and stuff like that. i guess the question now pretty much is : what do i do! im so not the kind of person to play 2 people.... but im thinking... im going to keep my options open with both of them OR anyone else i meet. im not longer committed to anyone right... so why should i feel guilty or weird about having both of them i my life for now...

[notalady]

Why did you and the ex break up and why are you considering getting back together (potentially)? If it was something serious such as compatibility issues or differences in values etc, I wouldn't advice you consider getting back together at all.

 

The fwb guy - I wouldn't get too excited about his sudden sign of interest, if it is that. He made it clear he didn't want anything serious, couldn't even promise you an exclusive fwb arrangement. Until he tells you he wants a serious relationship with you, don't get your hopes up.

 

Keep in touch with both or don't, it's up to you. But nothing to feel bad about either way.

[SinghNatasha]

it was a matter of timing. for him and i...he was moving for work, i wasnt ready to move with him at the time. i was moving to a new city myself and i wanted to explore opportunities for myself... fwb guy...yup not excited, also less into him.... i feel a lot more in control of everything that is going on... seems like one way or another its going to work out ...the next few weeks will tell

[Batya33]

it was a matter of timing. for him and i...he was moving for work, i wasnt ready to move with him at the time. i was moving to a new city myself and i wanted to explore opportunities for myself... fwb guy...yup not excited, also less into him.... i feel a lot more in control of everything that is going on... seems like one way or another its going to work out ...the next few weeks will tell

 

It sounds like neither of you was that into each other -and if the obstacles were work/geography then you wouldn't have done the sexual arrangement if you wanted to be careful about no hurt feelings for the long term - what I would do if I saw serious potential was wait till we could explore something serious, not muddy the waters with some gray area sex arrangement.

[SinghNatasha]

you are absolutely mistaken. we were very much in love, and i still am. i think youre confused between my ex and my current fwb. there was no 'sexual arrangement', we were in a relationship very seriously and exclusively for a year. the 'sexual arrangement' i had was with my current FWB friend, but as of today that has been terminated from my end. it just didnt feel right.

[Batya33]

you are absolutely mistaken. we were very much in love, and i still am. i think youre confused between my ex and my current fwb. there was no 'sexual arrangement', we were in a relationship very seriously and exclusively for a year. the 'sexual arrangement' i had was with my current FWB friend, but as of today that has been terminated from my end. it just didnt feel right.

 

Sorry -couldn't keep them both straight.

[SinghNatasha]

not a problem thanks for your response though