Giving up!

[StillHopeful88]

Im going to get straight to the point, WHERE am i supposed to meet someone? Im 25, all my friends are engaged or in serious relationships and I feel like I'm the only one that can't find someone that i'm actually interested in.

 

The only men that approach me are the ones that i'm not interested in (education wise/family wise etc). I'm not picky at all and all I want is a man at the same level as me but I can't seem to find anyone. I always get the "how are you still single/how is a girl like you still single" and its SO FRUSTRATING because i've been patient, I've done my own thing, I have a great balance with work and working out and social life and it seems that I'm never going to find someone.

 

I tried online dating which wasn't successful at all.

[thejazzynator]

I am in a similar position, but I haven't so much given up as much as I am just trying to continue to self improve. It is going to suck, I won't give you the run around and say just wait it out they will come become you don't know when they will show up. You may have already met them and they may come around again. You don't know. What I do know is that you must not give up, but leave yourself open. What sites have you tried? I get the same, how is a girl like you single blah blah blah. The best advice is to stop looking, focus totally and completely only on yourself and let your partner come to you on their own time. They will come. Don't give up.

[Silvia2010]

Heeeey, I feel you sista, im 24 and am in the same problem. However, most of my friends are single?? I feel like my circle attracts single friends lol

 

emmmm I suppose just to point out, the reason why I believe I am single is due to 1) I 80 pounds overweight and 2) I literally don't go out as much as my friends!! I am on a journey now to lose weight, and I hope I stick to it this time. I have a pretty face but my weight is a real issue.

 

Don't feel pressured tho, I know that's easier said than done... but I believe you will find someone soon.

 

Do you go on nights out much?

[JGintheOC]

Im 34 and i'm still in that situaiton. The one thing I've learned though is you have time. But if you really want a clear cut answer...stop looking. Also slightly lower your expectations.

 

I've learned that sometimes the men that are the greatest guys are sometimes people that aren't your "ideal".

[Ginger1]

yeah I'm somewhat similar to you 26. I move a lot which is one reason I don't meet people. The men I meet on my jobs are generally not suitable. The main thing for me is I would rather be taking care of myself than be with someone who doesn't care about me. I really enjoy my work, I spent a lot of time, money and effort going through school and jobs to get where I am now. I know that I will have to give something up if I begin to seriously date a guy, which is fine, but I'm only going to do that for the right person.

Hang in there, its an annoying thing to hear, but if you are content with yourself someone will find you.

I will also says its REALLY annoying when people say I can't believe your still single?!!? My reply is I haven't met the right person,

[NIN2000]

I think you are over reacting. You are only 25 years old and have plenty of time to date. From what you state, it sounds like age 25 is the end of your life.

 

Be patient yet cautious. You do not want to rush a relationship with the wrong person and seriously regret later in life having to get a divorce.

 

I personally think that online dating is a waste of time. Either way, do not give up. There is someone out there for you, however you have to be in the game in order to score a TD.

[bulletproof]

Where are you meeting them now? What do you do for fun?

Why wasn't online dating successful? Do you mean you didn't get a lot of responses, or that you went on dates that just went nowhere?

[Rosti87]

Sometimes joining charities and giving to others in need puts your life in perspective. Also it opens up your social world. Based upon your description of your social peers it appears like your world may be a bit small. Most 25 years olds are actively single in the area in which I live. I don't know where you live but if the lifestyle of the community in which you live is too boxed in you might want to look at other places to live where there is more variety.

 

You are very young and could easily look at other places to live where there are more singles and less families. Start a new life where you have a chance to redirect your life.

[trust101]

Sometimes joining charities and giving to others in need puts your life in perspective. Also it opens up your social world. Based upon your description of your social peers it appears like your world may be a bit small. Most 25 years olds are actively single in the area in which I live. I don't know where you live but if the lifestyle of the community in which you live is too boxed in you might want to look at other places to live where there is more variety.

 

You are very young and could easily look at other places to live where there are more singles and less families. Start a new life where you have a chance to redirect your life.

 

 

 

This is really helpful.

 

 

You say that you aren't picky except for education/family, etc. That's a big exception though. I don't blame you. People from far different classes rarely get together romantically in society, even though it's portrayed in films. Don't be desperate that you will even date a beggar but let down your guard by giving others a chance, someone that you see as 'beneath' you materialistically.

 

Someone who is sucessful, with a good, stable career, well educated, may be a nice cup of tea to have if you enjoy security but sometimes that tea gets cold & many find that security isn't something they desire later in life as they begin to age & want to feel passion & take risks, so eventually split.

 

Ultimately, it's your choice. All this 'work/focus' on yourself talk is good an all but after striving so hard to better oneself many look past people that are not 'materialistically' suited to them anymore.

[John John]

Oh OP...If only my ex gf was like you and actually wanted to get married (back when I was interested in that)! lol.

 

Honestly, you're only 25. Don't rush it. I know of three couples who got married at 25 (and we're all 30-ish now) that are headed toward divorce. This weekend was literally spent consoling two of them (at least, the ones in the couples that I'm friends with). I don't even know if I want to ever get married now. Relationships just seem like too much work and too much risk for too little reward. Then again, supposedly relationships get better as we get older, so...

 

Back to you, OP. 25 is super young...you have plenty of time to have several more relationships and find someone. Please don't worry

[Ms Darcy]

You say that you aren't picky except for education/family, etc. That's a big exception though. I don't blame you. People from far different classes rarely get together romantically in society, even though it's portrayed in films.

 

I think this is a good point. I have a few female friends who had quite a bit of trouble trying to find men who made comparable salaries (6 figures). When they removed that requirement, they had a much easier time finding partners.

 

But yeah, you are very young. I would encourage you to get out - join meetups, volunteer, get involved in club sports. And approach men you see in real life!

[Slimpee]

And approach men you see in real life!

 

To this point, I would go out at least once with most women who made it a point to approach me. The way I see it, if she wants to meet me badly enough to make a move, she's worth getting to know...

 

I dont speak for all guys, but it'd work on me

[Batya33]

I agree with the others that it's time to meet new people, hopefully single or interested in setting you up with someone and I would do the volunteer work, go back to meeting people through on line sites, get involved in a sport or hiking. I think it's fine if you want someone who has the same level of education as you or more education. As far as finances I would look for someone ambitious and financially stable and focus less on the actual salary.

[BigKK]

What are you looking for? I know plenty of girls in your predicament, and in my opinion some of them are either completely unrealistic and ignore their own shortcomings. I have a close friend who dates and meets great guys and finds all kinds of things "wrong with them," and I just know she has un-real expectations for men mostly generated by watching things like Frozen by Disney and then wonders why she's single. I'm not saying this is your issue, but perhaps. The other thing is, you have to look in your life.. If there is no way to meet new individuals, then probably you're not going to get stopped in a grocery store by your future husband... I mean you might, but with this day and age, with everyone's head buried in their phone...good luck!

[John John]

What are you looking for? I know plenty of girls in your predicament, and in my opinion some of them are either completely unrealistic and ignore their own shortcomings. I have a close friend who dates and meets great guys and finds all kinds of things "wrong with them," and I just know she has un-real expectations for men mostly generated by watching things like Frozen by Disney and then wonders why she's single. I'm not saying this is your issue, but perhaps. The other thing is, you have to look in your life.. If there is no way to meet new individuals, then probably you're not going to get stopped in a grocery store by your future husband... I mean you might, but with this day and age, with everyone's head buried in their phone...good luck!

 

Agreed on all fronts my friend!