My bestfriend is dating my ex and she knew i still loved him.

[havannahg]

hello guys thanks for reading.

 

I moved to Qatar 8 months ago and immediately after I was settled I met this great Muslim guy and we began dating. We loved each other but had problems throughout these months and even broke up once. He then introduced me to a girl and her and I became best friends immediately. She told me she was never interested in him although they grew up together. through our friendship she slept with various men and had various relationships but i always told her i rather go through hell and high water with this one guy ( my bf ) than see several men... and i was not judging her because i supported everything she did. I leave for vacation for 2 months in July and in that time him and I broke up while i was away but i still loved and cared about him given that i put in so much time energy and dedication into our relationship. when I returned for other reasons i speculated they were together. I questioned my ex about it and he just couldn't confess... he denied everything. Shortly after he left my house she texted me and confessed everything saying they've been dating for a few weeks and it just happened... its horrible...shes cried about it. I meet with her and tried to understand her position but i also tried to explain to her that she knew exactly how i felt about him... what he meant to me. All she could say was that she made a mistake shes only human and the damage is already done. I tried to forgive them right there and then but i realized this situation was way too painful and bizarre for me and i just couldn't.

 

i then wrote her this long message explaining how hurt i was and how much i loved and trusted her...and it isn't even really about my ex because he has hurt me before i expect certain things from him but not her because she told me i never had to worry about that--- all in all my message was long and heart and very honest...there is no way someone with a heart could ignore it.. a friend could ignore those truths----but she did she never responded til this day its been almost a month. I don't harbor female friends usually so our friendship meant a lot to me. As for my ex he still hasn't confessed but since i began feeling as if they do not give a damn about me i blocked and deleted them for all contact with me... any contact with me. My phone is lame so it sent me a notification saying a blocked contact ( my ex ) texted asking if we could talk and he will do anything i want ... still didn't respond he remained blocked. I know him so i know he is weak and although he claims to love her if i wanted him back or if i wanted o seem desperate i would not go away but ive decided to walk away... with my head held high and my broken heart in my hand. Although i'm proud of myself for walking away some days are still very hard. i feel as if she doesnt even care anything about me although one second she did. i still see them now and again when i go out... i guess they are happy. She is what i now consider to be a because she changed and slept with men frequently and she still proceeded to take "mine" knowing what he meant to me.. no matter the situation. he was off limits.

 

What should I do to move forward? I loved them both, ofcourse. It hurts to live everyday knowing they did this and to feel as if they don't care. do you guys think one day they'll realize my pain and be sorry or should I move on and not count on it? do you guys think this kind of girl honestly even has a heart? will she ever care? ...sighs...it sucks.

 

sorry guys im at work and im just rushing to get advice. sorry for typos or anything, ill really appreciate all input.

 

with love , H.

[lerenard]

Sorry you are going through this, but you knew both of them for less than a year and you call her your best friend and him - your love? I would say move on from both of them and find yourself some better friends. If they really deeply cared for you they would never do that. There is an unspoken rule that friends come first. They both couldn't care less about what you think and feel, and this is not a friend or boyfriend material, sorry.

And as you just moved in to a new place - settle down at first before you start a serious relationship. Get to know new people, new culture and their mentality.

All the best to you!

[abitbroken]

First of all, she is not your best friend. You met her through your ex during the 8 months you dated him. She is HIS friend more than yours and might not feel she owes you anything. Also, since you had no commitment, he was free to do what he wanted. I would put both of them behind you and leave them behind. Find new friends.

[havannahg]

thank you guys. you are both right. I've been ok and I've accepted the facts and have forgiven them but I seek other advice just for more clarity. I appreciate you all!! I will take your advice.

 

with love, H

[Ms Darcy]

I'm sorry your friend didn't say something to you before they got together.

 

I agree you should move on to better friends.

[havannahg]

thank you Darcy you are most right.

[M3ll0w]

What you did was right because if you take him back he would probably be with you and her. I hope you keep it together and dont slip to temptation by being in their lives. You can forgive but dont forget.

[havannahg]

thanks M3llow, you know ... staying strong and standing my ground for the better sometimes becomes my challenge but I see the truth and I know what I deserve so that's enough to refrain & fight temptation. thank you all for you're strength & wisdom. - I receive you

 

with love, H