ChenilleB Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Me and this guy I have been involved with for a couple of months had a falling out yesterday, for starters I was feeling insecure in the situation but it had more to do with my past than him. The way he's been acting did confuse me a lot throughout our time involved like him seeming to like me a lot one day and not the next but maybe I was exaggerating. My instagram posts are the reason I feel like I lost him .. Yeah something as measly as instagram posts. I would get into my feelings and post a lot of quotes about "not wanting to waste time, not trusting" stuff like that and he hated it. I really liked him a lot still do and he cared for and liked me as well. But yesterday after something I posted he got upset and texted me saying "I think we should be on the friends level for now". I got extremely upset about it at first and apologized for how stupid I was for contuining to post this stuff that he previously told me he did not like. I told him i would do whatever it takes to change anything necessary because I don't want to lose him. He told me he "doesn't know right now and he's not ready to talk about it and we will talk soon". I'm really hurt about this. Something so petty and the misunderstandings I feel made me lose a good guy. I want to give him time to be ready to talk about it but at the same time I feel as if I already lost him and it's time to move on. I poured my emotions out to him today and he ignored me so I wrote him hours after and he again told me "idk right now" ... Yeah I know confusing story Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 People today think nothing of posting every passing thought and whim on social media and wonder why their personal lives are in such shambles. Your Instagram posts have shown him that you like drama and attention and he doesn't want to be the subject of further posts. You don't need to change for him because I think he is done. But you need to change and stop posting and pouring your feelings out for all to see. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I agree with MHowe. No one needs their personal life plastered all over for the world to see. I never post anything re: my private life. Another thing is this you mentioned.. " The way he's been acting did confuse me a lot throughout our time involved like him seeming to like me a lot one day and not the next" If he was acting as such.. it sounds like he wasn't totally 'into you' in those 2 months? I get the feeling he was just testing the waters and backed out. Hot/cold shows confusion. Uncertainty. Be careful with what you say/post on the net. etc. Link to comment
ChenilleB Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 People today think nothing of posting every passing thought and whim on social media and wonder why their personal lives are in such shambles. Your Instagram posts have shown him that you like drama and attention and he doesn't want to be the subject of further posts. You don't need to change for him because I think he is done. But you need to change and stop posting and pouring your feelings out for all to see. You know what you're absolutely right. And I feel so horrible right now and wish I can tell him how sorry I am. I hope one day when he's ready to speak I can tell him. It was so immature, childish and insecure of me to put all that on social media. This situation taught me a big lesson about myself. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Learn another good lesson and take some classes on how to communicate without being passive aggressive about it. There are lots of classes and books on the art of communication that will help you to glean the confidence and personal boundaries you need to simply tell what it is you need to say to the person you need to say it to. Apologizing to him Yet Again isn't necessary. What is necessary now is for you to forgive yourself and silently thank him for not sticking around to enable you to continue on in your non-communication style. I also agree with this: it sounds like he wasn't totally 'into you' in those 2 months? I get the feeling he was just testing the waters and backed out. Hot/cold shows confusion. Uncertainty. It appears he was just there to teach you a valuable life lesson so that you don't play this same mistake with the guy you were actually meant to spend your life with... Link to comment
ChenilleB Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 Learn another good lesson and take some classes on how to communicate without being passive aggressive about it. There are lots of classes and books on the art of communication that will help you to glean the confidence and personal boundaries you need to simply tell what it is you need to say to the person you need to say it to. Apologizing to him Yet Again isn't necessary. What is necessary now is for you to forgive yourself and silently thank him for not sticking around to enable you to continue on in your non-communication style. I also agree with this: It appears he was just there to teach you a valuable life lesson so that you don't play this same mistake with the guy you were actually meant to spend your life with... You couldn't have said that any better your advice made me feel so much better. Thank you. And I'm gonna read up on passive aggressive maybe that's what I've been for so many years. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I agree that posting all of your feelings publicly isn't a very mature thing to do. But you also shouldn't have "poured your heart out to him" as a means to keep him. It's oversharing, again, and sounds very needy/insecure. Very much a turn off. Learn the lesson and take that into a new dating situation. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I agree that posting all of your feelings publicly isn't a very mature thing to do. But you also shouldn't have "poured your heart out to him" as a means to keep him. It's oversharing, again, and sounds very needy/insecure. Very much a turn off. Learn the lesson and take that into a new dating situation. I agree with this, and I'm not trying to kick you when you're down, but this is an important point. The way to convince someone that you've learned a lesson about oversharing is not by more oversharing. I'd pull back, leave all contact to him, and accept whatever the outcome in a dignified manner to avoid compounding the problem. My heart goes out to you, and head high. Link to comment
ChenilleB Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 I agree with this, and I'm not trying to kick you when you're down, but this is an important point. The way to convince someone that you've learned a lesson about oversharing is not by more oversharing. I'd pull back, leave all contact to him, and accept whatever the outcome in a dignified manner to avoid compounding the problem. My heart goes out to you, and head high. Thanks for the wise words. I will most definitely pull back and accept things for what they are. I'm happy I learned some lessons in this situation. Link to comment
trishadonato Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Cmon , do you really want to waste your time on a guy who would dump you over and instagram post? there aren't enough real world problems out there , he could have had his pick. but seriously hunny , a man that will bounce that quickly over so little , hes not the "genuine" relationship or settling down type of man. A man who IS genuine unlike the above will not only not leave you for ridiculous juvenile reasons but he will also put a lot of investment into the building of the relationship if he believes you could be the "one". And...a man that has invested a lot in something sure as hell isn't going to just abandon it. I think the only thing you lost here is someone else's child and hopefully it runs back to mama and she can finish teaching him what a man is. As for the posting stuff...yea I think its kinda foolish , private thoughts and feelings should stay private but it certainly isn't a reason for some yahoo to dump you for it. Consider yourself lucky it didn't happen later down the road when YOU had invested a lot and chalk it up to a close call and now you know what kind of guys to avoid Link to comment
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