rainydays1 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 reaching out for some assistance in my situation...me and my gf broke up about 3 weeks ago after being together for a year and a half. I can tell you that I loved her so much but she has a "wild" history and is choosing to go back to a lifestyle that I don't totally agree with. she was as in love with me as I was her and we talked about the future and getting married and having kids etc but I always had a gut feeling that she was hiding something. I was able to read her like a book and can feel her withdraw a bit towards the end which kind of made me intensify my feelings towards her. as she withdrew, I turned it up and whatever it was we just clashed and had a falling out/fight. after a few days we were ok but things still felt weird so I had a talk with her and she said things "felt different" and she didn't feel the same. we then decided to end things and the next day I was dying. I begged and pleaded and she told me she cares deeply about me and hopes to be friends one day. I stopped talking to her after that for a bit but got in touch with her best friend. her friend told me to apologize for our argument and to get back with her. when I asked why, she said b/c she said she still loved me....well I wrote her an email apologizing and she only wrote back a short response telling me apology accepted. that was it. she didn't engage in a deep conversation or explanation or anything. that was my sign to start no contact with her and that's what I've been doing ever since. it's been about 10 days since then and i'm dying inside. I want to talk to her, I want to call her but at the same time I know I shouldn't. I want her to be the one to reach out to me now. i'm feeling like she has forgotten about me already and has moved on. I get sick imagining her with another man and am going crazy wondering what she is doing. I just want to go crawling back to her with open arms and show her how much I still love her and want to be with her. I need some strength to reinforce the idea that no contact is the best idea and some reassurance that she may one day initiate the contact. is it possible someone once so in love can just change their mind that easy and forget about me? there is more to my story than what I wrote and if I get good feedback I can tell more details about our relationship. this is my first post and hoping for the best. Link to comment
siegfri333 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 You got it wrong, break ups are the final act of a long inner process inside the dumper, they happen all of a sudden only from the POW of the dumped. That's why dumpers are very quickly into new relationships : their minds are already open for a new love, when you're still struggling with your own feelings. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 you're right about that. I just don't understand how up until we actually broke up she was still putting on the "act" and still telling me she loved me and couldn't live without me etc. is she 2 faced? is she a phony?...i'm thinking i'm better off without her anyway Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Someone can promise you the world on Monday, but if they break up with you on Tuesday, all of those promises vanish. You've also got no contact wrong. It isn't to make her miss you and come crawling back, it's so that YOU can heal and get over what's happened. The more you try to stay in contact, the more you allow your mind to think of her and the more you open yourself to continously being rejected by someone who already rejected you. The hurt from heartache is natural. Time is what you need to heal. But from your first post it sounds as though you were not compatible, and in the end she figured that out. Her breaking up with you doesn't mean she forgot about you in a week. It just means she sees you two as not compatible. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 sad to say but you guys are right. I knew we weren't compatible from the start. my gut told me to just date her casually but she kinda forced me into the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing and i have an open mind and heart so i allowed it. i convinced myself that she was the one all tho my gut always told me something wasn't right. in the end i should've trusted my instincts i guess. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 basically she was a "dancer" for like 8 years and i was cool with it at first b/c i thought it would be a fun experience. after i developed real feelings and we were in a relationship it really started to bug me. she talked about getting out of that lifestyle and i helped her find a new job. after she worked that new job for about 3 months i noticed her looking for attention from her male co workers, from facebook and even ex boyfriends. she would always text/message random guys at random times and vice versa. i had a gut feeling she was cheating on me but never any solid proof but i noticed way too many little strange things that would lead anybody to believe that. so she finally said she wanted to go back to dancing and wasn't ready for what i wanted in life. wife, kids, home. keep in mind we both are 33-34 respectively. she should've gotten all that wild stuff out of her system when she was younger. my mistake for getting involved Link to comment
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