How to handle falling in love - sharing

[IAmFCA]

Wow this is distracting! I am a hetero woman falling in love. After indulging my desire to KNOW my man is falling in love with me, which I know intuitively, but I am obsessing... I finally realized it is MYSELF I need to manage. The most helpful result of my google searches this morning, pasted below with link.

 

The list below reminds me: do my thing, no drama, trust in the process. I already know the answers to the questions I am asking, and life can give no more assurance than the answers I already have. The bolded areas are where I am going to refocus. Extraction from weblink begins now:

 

"The following recommendations will help you to navigate the falling in love stage more smoothly, so that you can treasure this very special time in your life.

 

1. Enjoy the high, but don't lose yourself in it.

2. Keep your schedule, no matter how much you want to throw it over.

3. Acknowledge you are under the influence of some powerful hormones.

4. Get the nutrition, rest and relaxation that you need to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally sound.

5. When concerns and fears come into your mind about your lover, ask yourself if you are just trying to discharge the anxiety that you feel about the unknown, so that you can stop a personal drama in its track.

6. Don't rush to seal the relationship, just because you can't stand the anxiety of having to go through the stages of falling in love. Accept your anxiety and learn to work with it.

7. Research shows that falling in love also makes you more creative (Scientific American, Does Falling In Love Make Us More Creative?). So, work out that anxiety and fear through some creative activities.

8. Don't lower your defenses, personal boundaries, and expectations to the extent that you are denying what you really desire and need. This never works out well. You want to build an authentic relationship attachment, rather than one based on fantasy alone."

 

link removed

You will handle this wonderful time much better just by knowing what I've

[mhowe]

I feel for you! It is so hard to stop yourself from jumping into the deep end of the pool ---- but allowing yourself to experience the whole process is definitely

worth the wait.

[90_hour_sleep]

4,5,6...and 8 in my case....BAM!! As always, it's a delicate balancing act. Maintaining autonomy while trying to curb the pull of setting up sanctuary with another person. Maybe it's okay to fall out of balance for a period. Then again, maybe that's precisely what leads to so many problems. An early over-investment can deplete you of valuable energies/resources that will help when navigating rougher waters.

 

Interesting though, because there are so many different approaches that have worked well for different people. Some people thrive when they go all-in right from the get-go. Others develop better relationships when they maintain more of a balance. Seems it always comes back to observing your own tendencies, and trusting in your own wisdom -- even if it takes a few stumbles along the way.