Asking for advice for an undefined relationship with a girl I met over a game?

[KAZ101]

hey everyone, thank you for reading this in advance!

[[my first post on this website after months of lurking!]]

 

I met a girl a few [[~7]] months ago via a popular video game and we've been talking almost every day since then. At first I didn't think of her as anything much except a friend, and I added her on f.b. a few weeks after we had been talking. She is absolutely beautiful and her personality meshes really well with my own. However, I don't think I ever let her know the -real- me, and I'm afraid if I tell her more about myself and my feelings, I'll scare her away and end whatever our relationship has turned into. I find myself lying to her when I've had a ty day because I know she wouldn't understand or approve of some of the things I have done in my past and label me as something I am not.

 

We have never said that we like each other, but we have talked about meeting up before and having her visit me: since she still lives with her parents. Part of me knows that what we have is beyond just a normal friendship, but because I have distanced myself a bit emotionally when it comes to my own issues, I can not be sure that she'll accept a confession from me. Our talks tend to get flirty sometimes and we've even gone indepth on some more sexual topics, to which we both admit never having talked about with anyone else before. I really feel comfortable around her, but I'm afraid to confess anything to her and tell her that I actually have developed some serious feelings for her since we have been talking so much.

 

More recently, I feel like she is pulling away from me and telling me less and less about herself or her day. I'm always the first to initiate conversations with her, and we don't even webcam as much as we used to. [[i used to talk to her and see her on webcam everyday]]

 

The idea of us meeting and actually hanging out to get to know one another seems to disappear more and more with each passing day, and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself when she stops talking to me altogether. We often brought up us meeting and me taking her out to see my city and meeting my friends, but lately if I bring up a potential meet up she seems distracted and not interested. I don't want to be that pushy, creepy guy with her. I feel selfish for having these feelings of abandonment because it's not fair for her. She's currently dealing with the beginning of a new school year at her university and has a family member dealing with a severe illness, so I understand that her lack of communication comes from that, partially. On another note, I have mentioned her to my friends and even shared with them how amazing I think she is. She has not mentioned me to any one of her own friends, as far as I'm aware of, and more recently even suggests I find a girlfriend for myself, which she says jokingly. [[stuff like, 'how are you still single? you're such a nice guy...etcetc']]

 

I honestly don't know if i should tell her that i feel this way for her and would really like to get to open up to her completely. she doesn't pry into my past, but i think that's because she's uncomfortable asking something that would bring up some memories for me. [[long story short, i was in the army and deployed to Afghanistan three times, she knows, she's a little curious, but isn't pushing the information out of me]]

 

I'm sorry to have made this post so long. I guess i just needed somewhere to gather my thoughts and see them on paper [[figuratively speaking]]

[WithLove]

To be honest, it sounds like she has moved on to other things. She has school starting now and she's going through family issues. Most likely they are taking up her time.

 

I wouldn't suggest telling her anything. She's made it pretty obvious that she isn't interested in you that way. I'm sorry if that's harsh. I just think it'll save you a lot of heartache.

[KAZ101]

Thank you for replying!

I guess I'm just confused as to what to do because she still flirts with me and opens up to me about issues she said she can't tell anyone else.

 

I would understand if she just completely cut off communication or something, but she always comes back talking to me normally like nothing was wrong right before she goes to sleep [[like just a few hours ago I get a text from her: 'i wish you lived closer to me, it really sucks that you're so far away. i want to fall asleep with you beside me... etc/other corny stuff like that]]

 

I just don't know what to do with that, tbh.

[rainbowunicorn]

She can share these things with you because she probably thinks you two will never actually meet. Its easier for some people to open up to random people over the Internet versus real life people, for fear of being judged. If she doesnt like your opinion on something, she can always break contact. That being said, I too have made an incredible friend over the Internet, on a game no less. We both have problems and are helping each other by being able to talk to someone who will actually listen. As for the visiting/relationship part of your post, she may enjoy flirting with you, and its a fantasy for her, but you are both young, and she has a lot going on in her life. She probably isnt ready to take the next step in that yet. Its really your choice to tell her how you feel about her, the worst that can happen is she doesnt reciprocate them or wants to stop talking to you. In that case, she isnt worth the time. I wish you good luck though.