Feel sick and down

[Joanne19852010]

I asked my ex to meet me later at the house we shared he said no that he doesn't live there anymore and to leave him alone. I feel so sick I know he's moved on and is seeing someone with a little girl yet I'm still chasing him what is wrong with me. He doesn't deserve me and we has a lot of problems so why am I doing it? I think I'm in shock and don't truly believe what has happened. He doesn't care about me at all anymore and only five weeks ago he loved me more than he could ever tell me. I don't know how to move on from this I don't want it to be true. I don't want to be with anyone else.

[Joanne19852010]

I keeping thinking about the week before we broke up, I went to the house on the Wednesday and left. Thursday he asked me and I said what's the point and Friday I went and left again. Why did I do that, I deserve this

[newgin2]

Been there a few times. What Ive learned. When the dumper dumps the dumpee its not something that happenes overnight. He/she has been wrestling with it for a long time. The more u ask to meet, beg or cry. The more powerful they become over you. If you are constantly chasing him/her they will never miss you,if indeed they do end up missing you. Give that person a chance too breathe. You can let go if you want too. You are still stuck in the stages of shock. You need to pick up yourself and leave him alone for now. It truly isnt the end of the world. Once u stop contacting him he will wonder about you. Stop making him so great. He isnt thinking about you so why waste time thinking about him. If you are great and was a good girl to him. He will realize the error of his ways,hoprfully u will not want him when he comes back..lol Someone dumped me after 8 yrs. One day he loved me and couldnt live without me and the next day he walked out of my life. I did what you are doing. I was bugging him non stop. One day I was tired of crying for him. As hard as it was I picked myself up. 2 months later guess who came begging back for me..yup that jerk. I didnt want him back then,found someone better Take my advance. Let go,cry if you must,but stop contacting him. He will come around when you let go. Smile and try to be happy. You are worth it! Best of luck!

[eskimobobseal]

I think you're more shocked at the sudden change in him, from loving you to wanting you out of his life. That's very hard to deal with and I understand your frustration. Unfortunately, you're only choice at this time is to give him the space he needs and move on as best as you can. Maybe one day fate will bring you two back together, but at this time he doesn't want you in his life and you can't force yourself into it. Give it some time, date new guys, and you'll get over the relationship

[SpottiOtti]

The sudden changes have you in an emotional tailspin. And it's completely understandable. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope you can begin to heal soon. >

[Joanne19852010]

I just feel like it wasn't meant to be like this and I played my part in it. He said we will never ever be the same and it's too late. I know I have no choice but to start moving on. He lives by my sister and I saw him today whilst driving. My stomach just dropped. I don't want him back. I just wish we could go back. It's hard to think it's forever. I'm trying to block his face out of my head. He had his wonderful qualities. Always called me beautiful and contacted me throughout the day and moved in with me but he also moved on a week after we had an argument. That is a choice and he made it. He always replies to my emails and I don't understand why, he tells me to leave him alone yet always replies. I'm ok when I'm with other people it's just when I'm on my own. I know one day he will contact me again and I hope I'm strong enough to say no, I can't do this again.

[Joanne19852010]

Ex still emailing me he told me to grow a back bone.

[panther]

Just block him everywhere and mark his email adress as spam so you don't have to take up this crap from him.

I think he is being totally insensitive and you don't need someone in your life like that.

[panther]

I think you are in a situation where you need and would benefit from therapy and anti depressants.

Make an appointment for your doctor and tell about what you are feeling lately and he should perscribe you medication. It will make you feel better and help you dealing with all this.

[Joanne19852010]

I know, I didn't contact him for four days and I thought I was ok. It's like he's trying to hurt me even more. I think I do need to go to the doctors. I've got my sister but she's got a family of her own. I don't think I can have children. I feel like he was the only person that cared about me and now he's gone. I only eat when I'm with other people. All I do is work and sleep and I don't want to be at work but then I don't want to be at home. I need a break but have no one to go with. I just wish I could block out all the good memories and remember the bad. Am I that desperate for love that I would beg a cheat, liar, violent bully to take me back when he's with someone else. It makes me feel disgusting. I'm better than this.

[Joanne19852010]

Or I used to be

[panther]

I need a break but have no one to go with.

 

This I don't believe. There are a lot of things you can do.

Did you make the list I told you to do?

You can join dancing classes, any kind of sports you can do with other people.

Do you like animals? Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Or do volunteer work at the church, or at a hospital. Find out something, anything you can do to be around other people.

Even if you are not in the mood, do it, just do something.

 

Google for ideas for activities you can undertake.

Search online for sites where you can meet other people (like Meetup) and I don't mean other people to date, just to make friends.

 

Joanne, there are thousands of things you could be doing instead of just work and home.

[broski1]

ice cream always helps with the thinking then u can take all of our advice here and move on

[Ms Darcy]

Therapy and no contact with him would be a good start for you at such a tough time.

[Joanne19852010]

My friend asked if I'd like to start going to boxercise with her which I'm looking forward to. It's hard with my job I work split shifts and every other weekend. I'm going to write my list tomorrow. I've never thought about websites to meet friends before I always thought they were for dating and wasn't keen. I'll have a look. I'm just so scared of rejection I'm unsure which path to take. One good thing that happened today I realised I'm not going to let my ex put me down anymore. There was a negative that happened. I took a step and added a new person on Facebook and the first thing he asked me was if I was still with my ex, shocked me a little, I had no clue who he was but he seemed to know me and said we had even meet. Isn't it odd how you have no idea who people are but they know you. I haven't spoke to him since even though it seemed like he wanted to. Made me feel like I'm cheating. It's too soon.

[Joanne19852010]

I keep thinking about him making love with her. How could he

[Joanne19852010]

Thank you for all the replies. I'm feeling better today I don't know why but I am. I'm sure I'll have more down days but I'm feeling a lot more positive.