my ex gf really hurted me and my heart is broken i cant stop this feeling

[xy2flamex]

Im 17 yrs old and my ex broke up with me 2 months ago i cant get over the heart break and i cant believeshe did this too me, i was committed to her and we actually talked about getting married and having kids things were good witg us but we also had problems, i was with her for 3 yrs an 2 months, back in 2011 the beginning of our relationship she cheated on me with this guy in our achool an i was devastated by this i was heart broken i broke up with her she tried to talk to me and worked things out with me but i said no, she went out with the same guy the next day and a wk after he broke up with her, i took her back after things cool down i searched my feelings and actually gave her a second chance, things were good with us but inside i was still hurting and didnt trust her i had a hard time trusting her for 3 yrs after what she did too me and she lied to me couple times over those 3 yrs i caught her lying to me and would lie to my face about it but i firgive her and believe me when she said she didnt cheat in me, last yr 2013 she moved to a different state 2 hrs away fron me, we saw eachother like every wk or 2 on friday to sunday,this yr we had argument about her having a kik a messenger app that boys use to write her on from her instagram and i didnt like it i confronted her about it i told her why do you need this if you have a boyfriend that you can talk too why do u need this i found out that the guy she cheated on me back in 2011 was writing her and i didnt know what the msgs was about i asked her and she said that he wrote her but she didnt respond at all, and he senr her a picture of his private he was trying to have sex with her, i asked her is sge telling me the truth and she she said yes so i believed her and made her delete her kik and a second time she went back to make another the nezt morning i found out because a msgs poped up in my phone i was not trying to control her at all i was afraid kept my guard up all the time and was afraid she was trying to lie to me again or cheat, this happen in january of this yr, and i forgave her once again and believed she didnt cheat or nothing so things were ok for couple months until she told me she gave this guy in her new chool in the next state her number fof h.w. so i believed and trusted her until they started texting more often and even when we are on the phone so i told her i didnt like it and she said ok i will delete his number out my phone so 2 wks later we was hanging out in my house and she went to usd the bathroom and left her phone on the bed so i picked it up checked it and she had a private box with a lock code on it and i figured out the code and saw this guy number and name was still stored in her phone and the fact she hid the msgs and told me she deleted his number and stoped teztinf him, when she came back i asked her is she hiding anything from me she said no i was like are you sure she sweared to her dead brother so i ahowed her the phone and she was shocked an she said he is juat a friend and blahh blahh all that bull cant believe i gave her another chance and believed it and kissed her and believed it she had my mine confused for yrs. But couple wks after that she broke up with me on june 6 i was shocked and she said that she not in love with me nomorre and i left it as it is and i thought of it as if we needed a break, i found my seld again i waa blind in the relationship and failed to see the things she had done to hurt me but blames me that i had no trust in her and other bull i felt that i had to change and qork things out with this girl and make her change too but she lied to me alot over the pass 2 montha about why she broke up with me, she said she had to break up with me because of insecurity and trust problems, came to find out 3 days after our break up she wrote the same guy and they been messing around and on june 28th they started dating shw led me on for wks i begged pleaded and cry for her i recently stop chasing begging and contacting he ri was feeling alil bette rabout my self but waa heart broken devastated and wanted her back in my life, the guy she left me for and is with now went to prison july 2nd and got out august 16 th and went back in 4 days after he got out. 2 wks ago on august 10 th i asked her to see me and meet up i went to see her nad surprised her with flowers, a ring a necklace and stuffed animal with a letter inside of it before i did all of this i left her alone for 11 days and broke no contact on august 10 th to do thia and she cried and kinda walked away from me but then i went after her and she was silent for a while and said she dont want to second guess her decison and that she meant it when she said it was over and she dont trust me and how ahe dont want to get hurt again and she is with this guy now and i ahould move on, she basically put the whole blame on me but i cant stop this feeling that it is and i love her so much i dont want to see her with this guy idk why she doing this to me she would speak to me in a mean tone blocked me on fb and she deleted me from fb but she still have our pictures up there she is being cold hearted to me for no reason she posts statuses about hoe she dont wnat to say i love you to this guy because she dont want to get hurt again and all other bull about him and she dont care if i try to fix things but after her rejection on august 10 i went straight no contact with her now its been 14 days. She really crushed my heart and threw me in the garbag, i gave up my friends basketball my friends told me to leave her since 2011 they never like he ri cant believe after sacraficing my self to be with her and forgave her for all her bull she turn around and stab me in the heart and just left me like that with out caring if im hurt or not i cant stop thinking about her and want he rback so badly but i was really dumb and blinded by all this but idk what to do noww i tried so much i did so much for this girl, we did alot togethe rlost it to eachother ect its crazy i didnt cheat on her mess with other girls when they wanted to have sex with me and be with me, the only girls that existed in my world was her my mom and sis i never looked at another girl in a way ever since 2011 cant believe she left me for a guy like that, im juat too nice she walked all over me and my heart,i cant let her go or out my mind i cant even go on dates with out getting upset at my date or walking away from the date i just feel so guilty and feel im cheating and doing something wrong i cant let her goo. I just want her back to talk and make things better

[HeartGoesOn]

xy2,

 

I was going to edit this, but I don't know where to begin. Can you please re do this using paragraphs and punctuation?

 

Thank you.

[xy2flamex]

I just wrote all of that from my phone

[xy2flamex]

Im 17 yrs old and my ex broke up with me 2 months ago, i cant get over the heart break and i cant believe she did this too me. i was committed to her and we actually talked about getting married and having kids. things were good with us but we also had problems, i was with her for 3 yrs, an 2 months back in 2011 the beginning of our relationship she cheated on me with this guy in our achool an i was devastated by this. i was heart broken i broke up with her she tried to talk to me and worked things out with me but i said no. She went out with the same guy the next day and a wk after he broke up with her. I took her back after things cool down i searched my feelings and actually gave her a second chance. Things were good with us but inside i was still hurting and didnt trust her i had a hard time trusting her for 3 yrs after what she did too me. Over those 3 yrs i caught her lying to me and would lie to my face about it but i forgive her and believe her words when she said she didnt cheat on me. Last yr 2013 she moved to a different state 2 hrs away from me. We saw eachother like every wk or 2 on friday to sunday.

 

This yr we had argument about her having a kik a messenger app that boys use to write her on from her instagram and i didnt like it, i confronted her about it i told her why do you need this if you have a boyfriend that you can talk too why do u need this. I found out that the guy she cheated on me back in 2011 was writing her and i didnt know what the msgs was about i asked her and she said that he wrote her but she didnt respond at all, and he sent her a picture of his private he was trying to have sex with her. I asked her is she telling me the truth and she she said yes an i believed her and made her delete her kik and a second time she went back to make another the next morning, i found out because a msgs poped up in my phone. I was not trying to control her at all i was afraid, i kept my guard up all the time and was afraid she was trying to lie to me again or cheat. This happen in january of this yr and i forgave her once again and believed she didnt cheat or nothing. Things were ok for couple months until she told me she gave this guy in her new school in the next state her number for h.w. so i believed it and trusted her until they started texting more often and even when we are on the phone so i told her i didnt like it and she said ok i will delete his number out my phone, so 2 wks later we was hanging out in my house and she went to use the bathroom and left her phone on the bed so i picked it up checked it and she had a private box with a lock code on it and i figured out the code and saw this guy number and name was still stored in her phone and the fact she hid the msgs and told me she deleted his number and stoped texting him. when she came back i asked her is she hiding anything from me she said no i was like are you sure she sweared to her dead brother so i showed her the phone and she was shocked an she said he is juat a friend and blahh blahh all that bull. cant believe i gave her another chance and kissed her and believed it she had my mine confused for yrs.

 

Couple wks after that she broke up with me on june 6 i was shocked and she said that she not in love with me nomore and i left it as it is and i thought of it as if we needed a break, i found my self again, i waa blind in the relationship and failed to see the things she had done to hurt me but blames me that i had no trust in her and other bull i felt that i had to change and work things out with this girl and make her change too but she lied to me alot over the pass 2 montha about why she broke up with me, she said she had to break up with me because of insecurity and trust problems, came to find out 3 days after our break up she wrote the same guy and they been messing around. On june 28th they started dating she led me on for wks i begged pleaded and cry for her i recently stop chasing, begging, and contacting her. i was feeling alil better about my self but waa heart broken devastated and wanted her back in my life, the guy she left me for and is with now went to prison july 2nd and got out august 16th and went back in 4 days after he got out. 2 wks ago on august 10 th i asked her to see me and meet up i went to see her andd surprised her with flowers, a ring, a necklace, and stuffed animal with a letter inside of it before i did all of this i left her alone for 11 days and broke no contact on august 10th to do this and she cried and kinda walked away from me but then i went after her and she was silent for a while and said she dont want to second guess her decison and that she meant it when she said it was over and she dont trust me and how she dont want to get hurt again and she is with this guy now and i should move on, she basically put the whole blame on me but i cant stop this feeling that it is and i love her so much i dont want to see her with this guy idk why she doing this to me she would speak to me in a mean tone blocked me on fb and she deleted me from fb but she still have our pictures up there she is being cold hearted to me for no reason she posts statuses about how she dont wnat to say i love you to this guy because she dont want to get hurt again and all other bull about him and she dont care if i try to fix things but after her rejection on august 10 i went straight no contact with her now its been 14 days. She really crushed my heart and threw me in the garbage. I gave up my friends, basketball everything for her. My friends told me to leave her since 2011 they never like her i cant believe after sacraficing my self to be with her and forgave her for all her bull she turn around and stab me in the heart and just left me like that with out caring if im hurt or not i cant stop thinking about her and want i her back so badly but i was really dumb and blinded by all this but idk what to do noww i tried so much i did so much for this girl, we did alot together lost it to eachother and ect.. its crazy i didnt cheat on her mess with other girls when they wanted to have sex with me and be with me, the only girls that existed in my world was her my mom and sis i never looked at another girl in a way ever since 2011 cant believe she left me for a guy like that, im just too nice she walked all over me and my heart. I cant let her go or her out my mind i cant even go on dates with out getting upset at my date or walking away from the date i just feel so guilty and feel im cheating and doing something wrong i cant let her goo. I just want her back to talk and make things better

[1a1a]

That 'in love' feeling is not a logical or rational decision maker, you may well be the better dude, but if she doesn't have pants feelings for you anymore, the relationship is no longer viable. When she said she wasn't in love with you any more, I'd believe that. It doesn't make the relationship a waste of time, it just means it has run its course.

 

I know if hurts like hell now but go no contact with her, start playing basketball again, reach out and see if any of your friends would like to reconnect. Throw yourself into school, or work, the things you do for fun, do You things.

 

At the end of the day, you want and deserve a partner with whom you experience a mutual sense of Wanting to be together and this isn't your ex anymore. You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you and a million more girls to meet yet Some of them will even be head over heels for you. Go forth, live your life, make room for the next person to love.