My boyfriend drinking..(kinda long)

[GirlGreen]

One night (last halloween) when i was hanging out with all my friends and my boyfriend. my boyfriend was secretly drinking without telling anyone and he just told me tonight like it wasnt a big deal! i was shocked! the only person that knew was my best friend or his past girlfriend which is dumb how she knew and he couldent even tell me! its really sad i think how it seems he can be more comfortable with her and how she knew but he didnt care to tell me, and i asked him why he didnt tell me and he said he didnt think it was a big deal.

 

i think thats a big deal it sorta affends me because its like, does he have to drink to have fun around me? i asked him if he did it anymore and he said no, maybe one more time besides that. i guess it bothers me the most how i didnt even know and my best friend knew. i was hanging out all with him that night and i didnt even know!

 

He also has made it seem like he drinks when he is down but that was the weekend we got back together, cause the past week he had broke up with me, and then he said he didnt know why he did he made a big mistake (hes a picies he thinks about things WAY to much) and he still loves me and wants to be with me. anyways, the night before was the night we officially got back together, and we were only broken up for four days or so.

 

i love him a lot and it seems like that is a serious problem for him, drinking, more then i thought. i thought he just did it with his friends for fun but he was doing it alone without telling anyone!! he also said he was barely even buzzed he just had the ''happy feeling''

 

Umm..i have the happy feeling when im with him alone i dont need to drink..

 

 

Now i dont wanna sound controlling but i wanna talk to him about it. sometimes he makes drinking sound like a big deal and he has told me he has problems with it. It seems its only a big deal when i do it tho, but he can drink one night without telling me and its not a big deal, i drink one night and call him and he, who is also drunk, yells at me for drinking! ugh he can be so impossible and i feel i dont have a lot of trust in our relationship but at the same time i love him a lot and he really is the perfect boyfriend, dont get me wrong. he is so nice to me and i know he cares a lot about me, i just wish i could trust him more.

 

I have not drank sense he yelled at me for drinking, also the next day we talked about it and he seemed very mad at me. he said hes going to stop and that i should too but its really my decision. let me tell you, he hasnt stopped, we have just stopped talking about it.

[Jimbo10]

Drinking alone at age 15 is kinda funny. Does anyone not think so?

 

I mean, drinking alone at any age isn't the greatest habit to get into!!!

 

You really just shouldn't be drinking when your 15! If you don't want him to , then you need to stop, and warn him that you hate it so much your willing to leave him if he can't be responcible. If he won't stop it's up to you to leave him or not, but you don't really need that in your life at your age!

 

Good luck

[qavei]

Usually when people get in arguments about eachother's activities, it's a control issue and really has nothing to do with the actual activity, in this case drinking, especially at such a young age.

 

First, you both shouldn't be drinking at all but you know that.

 

Second, you need to have an honest talk about your relationship and what you need from eachother. If everything's totally rosy outside of drinking, then, well... just stop drinking =) I know it's a tough habit to break when you're young. The novelty of having an altered state of mind is very alluring, but you need to be careful. Find an enjoyable activity that you both enjoy and have a passion for. Do you like art? Exercising? Basketball? video games? anything... just find more things you have in common and enjoy those without worrying about the negatives. Also it's not possible to control other people, you can only control yourself and you shouldn't put the stress of worrying about other people on your shoulders when you can't do anything about it.

[ShySoul]

Neither of you should be drinking, especially not at 15. You need to have a serious talk about it. If he hasn't stopped then he might have a problem, either a drinking problem or something else that is causing him to turn to drinking. Saying something doesn't mean you are trying to be controlling, it means that you are concerned for him. Often times people who have a problem, particularly drinking, will accuse the other of trying to control them to avoid talking about the real issue. Talk to him about it and say that you care about him but are really worried and that this issue is causing you to have doubts. He should respect you and stop. Do things together that takes his mind of drinking. Show him that he doesn't need to drink to have a good time. I've seen drinking come between relationships. It's not pretty and I'd hate to see it happen to you.