We got in a fight cops got called and know i just dont know what to do......

[ijustdontknow1]

Ok so I'll make it as short as possible... My fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years now... We have a 22 month old daughter Nd I have a son from a previous relationship. Before we were anything we were best friends I would come to him drunk high from another guys or girls house I would take him shopping with me we did everything together but then we started having sex I didn't think it was serious but he did I ended up pregnant and during the pregnancy he knew there was a chance she wasn't his, she wasn't . But he still did everything like a dad should do and he still does now... He is. Great father and my daughter loves that man more than me at times he even signed the birth certificate. We've been through good and bad... But lately only bad. He is very insecure and has lots of issues and for me well I am just crazy... I've been diagnosed with many things in the past bipolar boderling personality disorder multiple personality disorder sicosophernia Idk if that's how you spell it but u get it... In and out of hospitals since I was 16 ... I mean my parents met at a nut house what did you expect?? But anyways we both ... Fiance and I... Have issues... Well we fight a lot ALOT and we'll not to point fingers a lot are his fault... But also one thing one big thing I left out we live with his father whom is a paraplegic but still does everything on his own and mind you we are Hispanic and his father is old school Latino the women do this and women to that blah blah blah bullcrap... Anyways long story short I have the balls in the fMily and I do everything I mean EVERYTHING I cook clean work take care of the kids wash and deal with paper work with his father because apparently I'm the only smart one with a mouth ... But anyways what leads me up to this story is that And I have gone through a lot through car accidents breaking body parts being broke no job eating out of the trash not having not electricity for weeks living off of 20$ just everything you could think of we've probably been thru it.. but most of those times he has been the one who is injured or jobless or etc so I have to pick up the slack of the other but the tables where turned 3 weeks ago... Wednesday three weeks ago I was running to the bus that came early to leave to work and as it left I came tumbling down and broke my leg in three places ... I had surgery Friday of last week and have been inmoble since then and my fiance has had to pick up my slack... I cant't go to work I can't take care of the kids I can't cook I can't cleaan just moving around hurt... Well Monday was his day off... Now granit he had been working double shifts to be able to pay the rent ... I had asked him clean the house it's a disaster clean it please... And he 're hoes with the Latino thing or male Salvadoran or maybe just his family but he will not lift a finger if there's on the floor he Wil see it step over it and do nothing else... Anyways for the whole weekend i had beefed him to clean the house on Monday... I even let him sleep in till 12-1ish still botched still moaned and was pissed that I had been pestering him to clean... Well that's when went sour... Everything just came out our mothers father's family past everything just came out and we went at it fists and all, mind you I have a broken leg healing a cast and I use a knee scooter to get around, firstvwere words then came flying items then I went at him then he came at me I would of never thought he was going to put his hands on me ... EVER ... He hit me twice on my head because I had slapped him took my daughter and was scooting away when he graced my hair and hit me like a wack a mole I feel and my in laws nurse who saw it all graced my kid... I got thrown aside like trashhis nurse passed me her done and said call 911 so I did and because I had thrown the first hit I went to jail... Now with all that being said he still wants to be together and work things out... DO I DO!!! I've been asking myself that's since Monday...

[Iggles]

That's pretty brutal.. Do you have family you can take the kids and stay with?

 

When physical violence enters the picture, it's time to separate. You should not have put your hands on him. However, what he did was unacceptable. You are injured with a broken leg and he's hitting plus throwing you around? Both of you have anger issues but he is much stronger than you. This is toxic and for your children's sake put their safety and well being first.

 

If you can stay with family, look into women's shelters. Staying one minute longer with a guy who would escalate physically with his injured SO and have her sent to jail is not in your best interests.

[Man with Dog]

OK, you were both at fault. You are both under a huge amount of stress. There is no moral difference between a girl being violent or a bloke being violent BUT the physical difference is that most men are stronger, so able to do more damage. Although there's never been any physical violence between my wife and I, we used to have row that started with something relatively minor and they just escalated. Many people would react to being hit by hitting back (not right but understandable, as it's a gut reaction) but he clearly used inappropriate force.

 

You can both put it down to a moment of extreme stress which might never happen again. But equally it might. Surely, you've BOTH got anger management issues to deal with. You both contributed to this and whether you or he can continue in this relationship or not, you BOTH need professional help NOW. Ideally you should not live in the same house and when you meet, the children must not be present.

 

To be honest I have my doubts about either of you being in a relationship with anyone right now but it is ultimately for you both to decide.

 

Good luck and courage to both of you.

[lukeb]

Your post sounds like a big rant, sounds like you are a very passionate woman but also a woman who has difficulty controlling herself. You need to practice sometimes taking a deep breath before you go on to the next thing. Sometimes a couple of deep breaths.

[ijustdontknow1]

I just don't know... We both have big issues... But we still love each other..

[abitbroken]

I just don't know... We both have big issues... But we still love each other..

 

Sometimes love is not enough. If there is violence, someone has got to leave and get to safety.

[Ms Darcy]

You are crazy (your words) and your bf is insecure and abusive. It sounds like an unhealthy you both get something out of.

 

My concern is the children. I think they should be sent to live with a trusted relative if you want them to have a chance at a normal, healthy life.

[Man with Dog]

I just don't know... We both have big issues... But we still love each other..

 

As I've said, you both need help and need to live separately for a while. It doesn't mean you can't meet each other and contact each other, so it's not a "break" as such. However, you both need to be brutally honest with yourselves. You are both to blame and you are both individually responsible for sorting out your issues before you can live together again or move onto other relationships.

 

You both need a lot of luck and support.