So here is my troubled story

[Storm79]

Hey so I just needed to pour this out... and get some perspective from people I dont know who wont bull me.

 

A girlfriend of 2 years went to Turkey for summer internship for 45 days, its her first time in a foreign country.

 

A week after her arrival and on my first day of coming back to Italy she breaks up with me through a text msg. Before leaving to Turkey she cried about how much she loves me.

 

A week after breaking up she bangs some random guy she met on a gala night, and bangs him few more times during the week and a week later she bangs another dude. The second guy she fked has a girlfriend apparently.

 

Funny thing is, she is 20 and those guys were 17-18.

 

She shared with me all of that information over skype.

 

When she was coming back she msged me that she is tired of that bullcrap those guys are bunch of stupid asholes and I am the best men she ever met (and honestly I damn am).

 

Before all of this I was planing to finish university with her and see if she would be my one and only...

 

Few days ago I met her in an airport she had a connecting flight through my city, we talked through the night. I tried to be understanding... I still had feelings for her and I am a gentleman afterwards.

 

I am not even hurt about the break up, we had it coming. I know why she broke up with me, but how she did it and what she did right after it is just painful. After all we been through she just forgets about us and goes on a banging spree, while I was destroyed for 2 month.

 

We skyped a few times but she keeps telling me what good fking time she had in Turkey and all the friends she made and how she is gonna go there again next year. I told her to stop telling me this crap , but she just doesnt get it?

 

Now she says she wants to come visit me in my new place and stay over for few days... A part of me says yes and another one is asking why the hell do I want to associate my self with that **** who broke my heart and ed dudes on top of it.

 

I am really confused

I dont love her anymore... but I have feelings for her. I dont hate her but I am angry at her. I want to see her and I dont.

I know there is this No contact rules but is it really a way to go?

A bad ending doesn't entail a bad journey and ours was great.

 

also this forum has annoying no swearing allowed. everyone here is above 18 at least, feels crap that i cant express myself properly.

[Edmund Exley]

Swearing doesn't make one an adult.

 

This girl isn't a very good person. Consider yourself lucky and let her go for good.

[BigKK]

Why would you want her to stay with you?

 

She obviously doesn't respect you, so respect yourself, cut her out and try to get over it. Let go of the anger and find someone that is worth your love, not this girl. Sounds like she was trying to hurt you by giving you detailed stories of her sex adventures.

[kitkat620]

I think you've expressed your point quite clearly without having to spell out the whole curse word. That said, I am assuming you are as young or pretty close to the age of your ex, so the question I would have to ask you is why would you even want to have anything to do with this girl? I doubt very much that she is finished with those 'stupid asholes' because the first taste of freedom she had she has hooked up with at least 2 guys that you know of numerous times. So, unless you want to be a part of her f**k harem, find someone else who can at least be considerate enough of you to not sleep with the first couple of guys she comes in contact with the moment she is away from you.

[Storm79]

Swearing doesn't make one an adult.

 

This girl isn't a very good person. Consider yourself lucky and let her go for good.

Ill drop the swearing topic, that was not the point of this conversation. Though yes you are right.

While she did not do good... she seems like a horrible person. She was the best I have had so far and she was amazing to me until that point.

 

Why would you want her to stay with you?

 

She obviously doesn't respect you, so respect yourself, cut her out and try to get over it. Let go of the anger and find someone that is worth your love, not this girl. Sounds like she was trying to hurt you by giving you detailed stories of her sex adventures.

I never thought of that... she doesnt respect me? It seems more like she degraded her self by doing what she did, so that would be lack of self respect for her.

Also no she wasnt trying to hurt me... during out skype session she was telling me her stories and I could see that she was lying and not telling me things. I asked her to be honest and stop lying to me, so she told me everything. Ye it hurts to hear it but at least she was honest with me. ( I am condensing it a bit, took a bit longer than that ofc)

 

I think you've expressed your point quite clearly without having to spell out the whole curse word. That said, I am assuming you are as young or pretty close to the age of your ex, so the question I would have to ask you is why would you even want to have anything to do with this girl? I doubt very much that she is finished with those 'stupid asholes' because the first taste of freedom she had she has hooked up with at least 2 guys that you know of numerous times. So, unless you want to be a part of her f**k harem, find someone else who can at least be considerate enough of you to not sleep with the first couple of guys she comes in contact with the moment she is away from you.

Yes but doesnt every one loose control at one point or another? I had my fair share of those moments, while it was in relation to myself rather than other people I could say by loosing my own control I inadvertently hurt my parents (example). Yes my ex did not respect me and she whored herself out, but we had amazing 2 years and I cant forget what kind person she was, while I will never be able to trust her the same way and even less respect her.... and while I have not moved on completely I have already went out and met some girls and spent my time with friends. I dunno even after what she has done to me it feels like a waste to throw away... I dont quite know what to call her now...

[MisUnderstood9]

Its not a waste.. if anything she showed you her true colours.

 

If she plans to go to Turkey again next year like she said, whats to stop her from dumping you again so she can hook up with other randoms? Is she going to dump you everytime she goes away so she can be free to sleep with others?

 

This is the type of girl she is... she needs to the attention from the men she knows will give it to her to get what she wants and in this case its sex.

 

It's not throwing anything away, she ended it - she threw you away and be greatful for you it because now you can find someone who will respect you and love you not matter what country they travel too.

[Storm79]

Its not a waste.. if anything she showed you her true colours.

 

If she plans to go to Turkey again next year like she said, whats to stop her from dumping you again so she can hook up with other randoms? Is she going to dump you everytime she goes away so she can be free to sleep with others?

 

This is the type of girl she is... she needs to the attention from the men she knows will give it to her to get what she wants and in this case its sex.

 

It's not throwing anything away, she ended it - she threw you away and be greatful for you it because now you can find someone who will respect you and love you not matter what country they travel too.

 

Oh gee,you MisUnderstood me, no I am not trying to get together with her again! God no, what am I crazy? She says she wants to be friends and wants to come visit me in my new place that I moved to. We are not going to be a couple again, not now... we are at different pace in life. I dont know if she just wanted to bang some guys or she went on rebound after our break up.

[MisUnderstood9]

Oh gee,you MisUnderstood me, no I am not trying to get together with her again! God no, what am I crazy? She says she wants to be friends and wants to come visit me in my new place that I moved to. We are not going to be a couple again, not now... we are at different pace in life. I dont know if she just wanted to bang some guys or she went on rebound after our break up.

 

Sorry! That's my mistake.

 

On that note, I would tell her no she cant visit you. You are done and that its over. Right now you need space to heal and than maybe one day when you are both in a better state of mind you could try to be friends but not right now.

 

She wants to visit you more than likely to try and sleep with you and try and win you back.

 

Personally, just go NC, you'll be happier when you do.

[kitkat620]

Yes but doesnt every one loose control at one point or another? I had my fair share of those moments, while it was in relation to myself rather than other people I could say by loosing my own control I inadvertently hurt my parents (example). Yes my ex did not respect me and she whored herself out, but we had amazing 2 years and I cant forget what kind person she was, while I will never be able to trust her the same way and even less respect her.... and while I have not moved on completely I have already went out and met some girls and spent my time with friends. I dunno even after what she has done to me it feels like a waste to throw away... I dont quite know what to call her now...

 

You call her your ex girlfriend. You had 2 good years with her and now that is over. No one's telling you to forget those years, remember and cherish them and know that those years will help you develop into the man you will become.

 

I think what you are feeling now is a determination to try and get her to love or want to be with only you, like she did in the past. That's not going to happen. She has crossed a line that will make it very difficult for you to forgive let alone forget. The deed has been done and the true character of who she is right now is evident. Remember the girl she was and hold onto those memories. The girl she has become isn't someone you truly want now, is it?

[DancingFool]

You can keep talking to her and drag this mess out and grow more bitter and messed up yourself. OR you can walk away, remember the good times, enjoy your life, seek out another girl with better standards that are more aligned with yours and have a fun life. In short, go NC. You will be glad that you did.

 

She dumped you, she went and did whatever she felt like doing. That's her choice and her business. Just realize that dumpers don't really want to be your friend, they want to alleviate their guilt for hurting you and, more importantly, they want to use you to get over you - comfort and attention and a safety net while she is looking for someone else. Don't waste your time and energy on her any further. She is not worth it.

[HeartGoesOn]

no I am not trying to get together with her again! God no, what am I crazy? She says she wants to be friends and wants to come visit me in my new place that I moved to. We are not going to be a couple again, not now... we are at different pace in life. I dont know if she just wanted to bang some guys or she went on rebound after our break up.

 

No offense, but you're only fooling yourself. I'm sure this is not easy for you, but no matter how you slice it, trying to justify why she cheated doesn't change a thing. When she made that choice, she certainly wasn't thinking of how this would hurt you, and now you're allowing her to be your friend...really?

[BigKK]

No offense, but you're only fooling yourself. I'm sure this is not easy for you, but no matter how you slice it, trying to justify why she cheated doesn't change a thing. When she made that choice, she certainly wasn't thinking of how this would hurt you, and now you're allowing her to be your friend...really?

 

Exactly, she didn't "disrespect herself," having sex with guys isn't disrespectful.

 

Dumping your boyfriend then going on a sex adventure, then telling him all about it, in my book is disrespectful, and then you accepting it all even though it hurts, I believe, you're disrespecting yourself...and you talk of friendship with her... yikes. Sounds like a great pal

[Storm79]

You call her your ex girlfriend. You had 2 good years with her and now that is over. No one's telling you to forget those years, remember and cherish them and know that those years will help you develop into the man you will become.

 

I think what you are feeling now is a determination to try and get her to love or want to be with only you, like she did in the past. That's not going to happen. She has crossed a line that will make it very difficult for you to forgive let alone forget. The deed has been done and the true character of who she is right now is evident. Remember the girl she was and hold onto those memories. The girl she has become isn't someone you truly want now, is it?

No I dont want her love, I dont want to be with her again either and most of all while she is beautiful and has incredible body and skill in bed, I dont think I can ever lay with her again. I just feel disgusted by the idea of that and that she did it with someone else... numerous times... ye no thanks.

 

You can keep talking to her and drag this mess out and grow more bitter and messed up yourself. OR you can walk away, remember the good times, enjoy your life, seek out another girl with better standards that are more aligned with yours and have a fun life. In short, go NC. You will be glad that you did.

 

She dumped you, she went and did whatever she felt like doing. That's her choice and her business. Just realize that dumpers don't really want to be your friend, they want to alleviate their guilt for hurting you and, more importantly, they want to use you to get over you - comfort and attention and a safety net while she is looking for someone else. Don't waste your time and energy on her any further. She is not worth it.

 

In your second paragraph, I think you hit the spot right there... I even asked her why do you want to come visit me after all this and she couldn't give me a clear answer. You kinda opened my eyes , I couldnt put it into words for myself but you wrote here what I was thinking but couldn't bring out of myself to acknowledge it. Even if she does honestly wants to be a "friend" its more out of a habit of being with me for 2 years rather than anything else.

 

 

Exactly, she didn't "disrespect herself," having sex with guys isn't disrespectful.

 

Dumping your boyfriend then going on a sex adventure, then telling him all about it, in my book is disrespectful, and then you accepting it all even though it hurts, I believe, you're disrespecting yourself...and you talk of friendship with her... yikes. Sounds like a great pal

Ye... well in my eyes she disrespected herself by banging a dude who has a girlfriend who she knows is cheating on said girlfriend with multiple other woman besides her.

 

Anyways ye you guys are right she has shown her true colors and who she really is right now. The thing is I am not hurt by the break up but by what she did right after, I just cant understand how a person can just forget about you like that after a 2 year relationship. Isnt there supposed to be some grieving period? Especially for a woman? Or is it just how some people are I guess... we are just different like that... I pity the way she ended the relationship we could have done it like decent people and stayed friends for whats it worth, but she had to ruin it all like it was worth nothing to her. I will never understand that.

 

Do you guys even think its okay to go on rebound so soon after a break up? Is it some kind of a Dumper thing to do?

[BigKK]

By rebound period? do you mean her sleeping with other men immediately?

 

There isn't a grieving period if you've previously checked out of the relationship. A lot of people give it a long thought before they end a relationship, by the time they make the decision they are emotionally out already.

[Storm79]

By rebound period? do you mean her sleeping with other men immediately?

 

There isn't a grieving period if you've previously checked out of the relationship. A lot of people give it a long thought before they end a relationship, by the time they make the decision they are emotionally out already.

 

Ye I mean her sleeping with other men immediately. Is it normal to go on rebound so fast right after break up.

Since our break up a bit more than a month ago, I met this one nice girl and she invited me over but I was just not interested in her sexually when it got to the point when we were in bed together. I know it will change over time I will be interested in other woman again. Just feels weird how my ex could just jump the ship so fast. actually jump the d ick sounds better.

 

And ye she told me its been coming up for her for some few month before the break up. She said I got boring when I got into some mess and had serious real life problems I was trying to deal with. I was really stressed out, so I dint have the mood to go party and wasnt as outgoing as I used to. But there is some other stuff aswell ofc.

I dunno man...