Confession?

[crazykyla]

Okay, so bear with me. I am in a relationship which will be going on 3 years in September. In January of 2011, I cheated on my boyfriend at a New Year's party. Blacked out, slept with a guy, took me three days to remember it. I came up front with it right away. He was angry, but the day after I confessed to him, we decided to continue the relationship. Things were obviously rough, but I felt that I was doing everything I could to earn his trust back. Including completely isolating myself from a social life, but that's besides the point. A couple of months ago, mind you I cheated in 2011, it is 2014, the topic came up and we actually almost broke up because of that same incident in January. He told me that the way that he would be able to trust me again is if I were to go to Confession and confess my sin.

 

I am not a religious person. Never have I ever been. I was not raised in such a way and I have never been to a Mass let alone a Confession. He grew up Catholic, but his family is not traditional. The religion was mainly for the sake of morals. Anyway, this is what he told me that would make him trust me again. I'm feeling hurt because I had thought that I earned his trust back already.. He told me I did, anyway.. I made the promise that I would go to confession, which makes me feel as though I should go and do not have a choice, but he made it seem like this would be the end of us if I did not promise this, so did I ever really have a choice?

 

Prior to making this promise, I had no knowledge of the workings of a Confession. I have been doing my research and it is apparent to me that, unless I confess every sin I have committed, it will not be "accepted" by God. But the real kicker is that I am not even sure that I believe in this "God", not the Catholic perception of him/her/it, at least. And not believing in it makes it seem like a huge waste of time, and quite honestly just disrespectful. I do not want to go into a Confession session as if it were a joke, but I cannot honestly feel like this "God" will relieve me of my sins.

 

I don't know. I guess that I'm just not sure what I should do in this situation. I promised, and that is literally the only reason I am thinking about doing it. I do not feel that I owe it to him to confess my sins, nor do I owe it to "God" or even myself. I have forgiven myself, and he should have to. Because he told me he has, not because I have some unrealistic expectation of how he deals with a cheating girlfriend.

 

I guess I should also add that I have been feeling as though I need to break up with him lately. We are not compatible at this stage of our lives anymore.. I hope that you guys can help me make the decision that is right.

 

I am seeking advice not from the religious followers who simply believe I should confess so that I may go to Heaven because "God" is real and blah, blah, blah. I need actual advice, please and thank you.

[jjkk]

First of all, how seriously are you considering breaking up with him? If you know it's something you need to do, then there's no need to worry about this confession demand.

[SooSad33]

"I guess I should also add that I have been feeling as though I need to break up with him lately. We are not compatible at this stage of our lives anymore.. I hope that you guys can help me make the decision that is right."

- No matter what religion either of you are, you should NOT be made to do this.

As you said, he said at one point, he accepted it. Now, obviously he hasn't accepted or gotten over it, after all of this time.

 

yes, I agree, you should move on. When distance is happening, trust isn't there, etc. Not much chance it's going to move ahead in healthy manner.

 

Next time, do your best NOT to fool around in your relationship. If that's what you prefer, please do not get involved with them.

[misssmithviii]

His demands aren't realistic because you don't believe. Confession in my opinion isn't what's important, you've already done the confessing to the hurt party.

 

If you don't have any religious beliefs (and I'm right there with you btw) what difference does it even make? You would be going through motions that meant nothing - does he not realize that?

 

I think you should explain this to him, and if he's really hanging your relationship on this demand - then perhaps it's time you let him go. You've been pondering it anyways.