Freedom from Fear

[NIN2000]

In the 1940’s my great grandfather purchased an 8 bedroom home in Havana, Cuba. In 1959 when the Cuban Revolution arrived, most in my family left Cuba for America. However, my great grandfather held a strong belief that America would overthrow Castro; therefore, remained behind and took care of my grandmother (who was ill) and my mother who was an infant. I was born in the 1970’s in Cuba, under the influence of the U.S.S.R. and at the height of the Cold War. Luckily in 1980 my mother (at the time age 22) and I were able to flee for America. I have lived a fortunate life in America that has spanned 34 years.

 

The maid, who worked and lived at my great grandfather’s home since 1956 was left with the 8 bedroom home and in return she took care of my grandmother from 1980-1998. For over 3 decades my mother maintained contact with the former house keeper along with her daughter and granddaughter and religiously sent them clothing items, medicines and other basic items which we in the free world take for granted.

A few months ago my mother informed me that the house keepers’ granddaughter solicited a tourist visa through the U.S. Embassy in Havana and was granted a 90 day stay in America. For narrative purposes I will name the granddaughter as “Alice”.

 

My mother, who lives in a 1 bedroom apartment, asked me if Alice could temporarily stay at my house. I agreed.

 

By the 5th day that Alice was in America she revealed to my mother that she had no intentions of returning to Cuba and asked for assistance in seeking political asylum. My mother called me frantic, not knowing what to do and after explaining the situation I coldly responded that I have my own problems and had no interest in inheriting new ones. I told my mother that Alice was welcomed to stay in my house for her 90 day stay but not 1 or 2 years. She is not my responsibility.

 

That evening Alice’s mother who was allowed to fly to Mexico for work related issues called my home and emotionally broke down upon hearing her daughter’s voice. The phone was on speaker and in the presence Alice, my mother and I, she explained how grateful she was for what we are doing for her daughter. She apologized for not informing or discussing her intentions with us ahead of time. However, she feared writing her intentions on an e-mail, letter or discussing it over the phone in Cuba which most likely would be intercepted by the government. Such a move would place her and Alice as a target of the government’s repressive ways.

 

Even though I left Cuba 34 years ago, this conversation took me back to endless black and white memories as a child which were filled with hunger, extreme poverty and in all aspects of life fear. Fear of being taken away to a work camp for speaking against the government. Fear for being arrested and harassed for wearing “American jeans” or having long hair. The memories flowed like a river. With that I reversed my position, felt very guilty and embarrassed and offered to help in any way I could.

 

I sat down with Alice and promised to support her but gave her strict rules which are non-negotiable. As long as she lived under my roof she will enroll in school, learn English and she will get a job. Aside from the ethics speech, I made it clear to her that I was not going to jeopardize my integrity over her or anyone regardless of the situation and if she did cross the line then she would no longer live under my roof. However, I made it clear that she was to determine the fate of her future with her own actions.

 

I have shared the above with numerous friends of mine and all disagree with me. Everyone says the same things “all of the recent arrivals from Cuba are delinquents, manipulators and not to be trusted” or that “I am making a great mistake”; etc. To a certain degree I agree and share their sentiment but in the end, I will never forget the misery of life in Cuba. In addition, I would not be able to live with myself knowing that I crushed someone of “their American dream” by sending them back to a place which I know from firsthand experience to be hell on Earth.

 

What do you think?

[sleepingdonut]

What do you think?

 

She has ties to people from your past, so it's not like taking in a random stranger. I say stick with your decision, but don't hesitate to enforce the rules you've set down.

[mg22]

Iam from Miami and can relate to your story. I dont believe all the recent cubans coming into MIAMI are delinquents. Many are and have really ruined Miami for many of us, but many are very hard working and adjust well, but as you said you laid down the rules ! Help her get on her feet, once she does she should move on her own. Iam wondering if her initial plan was to come and stay forever. She is now relying on you as family since she has no one else. Good luck i do hope she can adjust to life in Miami and goes forward in life.

[kalikat]

I definitely agree with what you are doing. Although I was born in the U.S., my parents came over from Cuba in 1958 - Just as the revolution began. However, in our family, they were the only ones that got out back then. My entire life has been about slowly being able to bring the rest of our family to America.

 

I still have family living in Cuba, my dad' brother, and countless cousins, aunts, and uncles. And to this day, I still get requests from them for things that we take for granted- antacids, vitamins, etc. One of my aunts even asked me to send her some elastic, so she could replace the elastics in her underwear. She didnt ask for new ones, just for a way to fix what she already had.

Things are still very difficult for the people of Cuba. I think your decision is from the heart. Laying down rules is a smart thing to do also. But giving her the chance for a new life, that is a wonderful thing.