How to draw people in and want to get to know you

[JGintheOC]

I'm not justifying it and I am agreeing with you about not basing. I do want to add I only bash when she throws herself in my direction and hunts me down. It's pratically all the damn time. Every 1-2 days. It's like this:

 

- If she tries to call me for whatever reason i.e. to hang out, to get advice to whatever, has a question whatever the reason...if I don't answer, she doesn't leave a voicemail and keeps calling repeatedly like every 5 minutes. Then next time I happen to run into her the FIRST thing she says is "I KEEP CALLING YOU, WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER?" Usually its becuase I'm busy and I tell her that then she starts with a barrage of questions about why and wants to know the whole story when i'm just trying to not be in the same place as her.

 

- Or if it goes longer than 1-2 days typically, and if I run into her first thing she says is "Where haveeeeeeeeee you been?". I usually say I've been working alot or that I've been busy with life and again she wants to know exactly.

 

All that stuff just makes me feel icky when I'm around her LOL. I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing.

 

I guess the solution is Positivity Positivity, have healthy boundaries, and not think too much about anything!

[Mari]

Im part of the first group unfortunately

 

Don't worry it's kinda cyclical. When I'm trying they don't come, so I improve and don't care as much. Then lots of them come and care about me which makes me care about them and that makes me worry about how I appear. Which then causes them to leave and then I improve again and don't care as much. Which then...

[JGintheOC]

Don't worry it's kinda cyclical. When I'm trying they don't come, so I improve and don't care as much. Then lots of them come and care about me which makes me care about them and that makes me worry about how I appear. Which then causes them to leave and then I improve again and don't care as much. Which then...

 

I guess the lesson is to not care about the meaning behind things I guess and keep up the Positivity Positivity!

[catfeeder]

Why not just tell her that she hurt your feeling when she asked what was wrong, which encouraged you to tell her, and then she said she didn't care. You were left grappling with the logic behind asking if she didn't want to know.

 

Then be quiet and let her handle that as she wishes. Don't defend, just observe.

 

If she apologizes, then you may be able to consider her friendship material. If she balks or defends, then you'll be clear that you've put her on notice as to why you're not as available to her as she'd like--and she may need to let this marinate for a while until she reflects and gets it.

 

Or, she may never 'get it' and you'll feel confident that you gave her fair opportunity to make things right.

 

No matter what the outcome, you'll feel less concerned with her because you've voiced what's been bothering you. Less concern will mean you're less inclined to compare yourself with her. The outcome no matter how you slice it will make it easier for you to drop from her radar as you from her from your own.

 

Head high.

[JGintheOC]

Um I wasn't upset about her, I was uspet about someone else. She asked what was wrong and that's when she gave me attitude about not wanting to hear about it.

 

After that I stopped hanging out with her much. Most days I keep my distance and limit my interactions. People who are not 100% supportive aren't peopel I wan't in my life. I don't judge others and they shouldn't judge me.