amila Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I am worried for my friend,really honestly.She is waay into a guy,and he asked her out.I am beeing realistic he is way over her league,she is not ugly but she is not his league ..he is tall,dark,,,the typical ideal guy I am now worried he will break her heart,but how can i tell her this? Link to comment
jjkk Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 You don't. Be happy for her! We all get our hearts broken whether someone is "out of our league" or not. She could just as easily get her heart broken dating someone "in her league". What you consider attractive may not be what he considers attractive. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 You don't. It's cruel and jealous to rain on her happiness. If you're her friend you stay quiet, are happy for her, and take her ice cream if it goes badly. If he asked her out, he obviously doesn't think she's out of his league. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 It is not your place to determine what league your friend or her date are in. Here is a basic example. In the early 90s the actor Warren Beatty was considered as a very handsome man. He met his future wife Annette Bening who was cute but not a beauty. Fast forward 22 years and they are still happily married. Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 He obviously isn't out of her league (whatever that means) if he asked her out. Don't be petty by talking to her about your concerns. It is none of your business. Just be a good friend and be supportive. If it goes south, continue being supportive with no "I told you so" superior attitude. Link to comment
notalady Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 This whole "out of someone's league" thing is bs. It's focused solely on appearances and not the person themselves. Also it is very common that one partner is better looking than the other, a large percentage of all couples I dare say. Your worry is not warranted unless he is displaying questionable behaviours (e.g. He is known be a player or you have seen him with other girls while dating your friend). I would not recommend you say anything to your friend. In fact that may even ruin a budding relationship, when you make one person feel insecure about their looks and make them think they are not good enough for the other person. I might be cynical here but I'm now also questioning the purity of your motive in wanting to tell your friend. Link to comment
amila Posted August 3, 2014 Author Share Posted August 3, 2014 I knew i would get negative responses,but not that i would get accused of beeing jealous.I just dont want her to get hurt..she is a pretty girl,but she is shy Link to comment
notalady Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I knew i would get negative responses,but not that i would get accused of beeing jealous.I just dont want her to get hurt..she is a pretty girl,but she is shy Don't worry too much about it. You can help by observing the guy more and see if he's genuine person, if he has questionable behaviour as said before. Whether someone is going to hurt the other person has nothing to do with looks, it has to do with what kind of person they are. Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 If your motive is because she's shy, don't mother her in this, seeing she's "out of his league" with her incapability against his confidence or some such. That's negativity. Instead, encourage her growth. You never know, maybe she'll end up being more confident with his exposure to her. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Well, he can't be THAT out of her league if he asked her out. The guy sees something in your friend, who you state is pretty. As to the shy thing big deal. I was painfully shy when I was younger, being asked out by hot guys got me over that. Be happy for your friend, ditch the whole concept of leagues since that's an idea rooted in prejudice and basing opinions on looks only. Your friend had a hot guy ask her out? Good for her. And she is going to get hurt sooner or later, whether it's by this guy or someone else, because most people do when they start dating. That's the chance we take when we date and explore our sexuality. And yes it will happen to you too. It's called life. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 If he asked her out, he must fairly interested in her. Sometimes very attractive people date average people because they're into their personalities and it works out. Don't say anything. Btw, the guy who was the biggest jerk to me was someone who people considered below my league, looks-wise, and so was the second biggest jerk. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I knew i would get negative responses,but not that i would get accused of beeing jealous.I just dont want her to get hurt..she is a pretty girl,but she is shy Then why would you consider hurting her with your concerns? Those are yours to manage, and expressing them to her would serve no purpose but to inflict the kind of hurt you'd rather see her not suffer. We all get to live and learn through experience, and you can't 'protect' anyone from that. Head high, be kind, and don't hover. Link to comment
corvid Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 The whole "out of someone's league" thinking is rather juvenile. Attractiveness is not a linear scale. Different people find different things attractive in others. Be happy for your friend. Link to comment
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