She texted me by accident, lol.

[Destroyed 33]

Yeah, well, I don't think it's like her to "play games" but honestly, I guess I really don't even know who she is anymore. I am stumped.

[ladybird579]

There is NO WAY IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL you can text the wrong person unless you have made a mistake with the number while saving the contact. She was just testing the waters, leave her be, things are taking effect on her, see how this whole thing is playing out man?

 

Not true. I've texted the wrong person by accident when I've done it without my glasses on I texted the wrong contact.

[floridasfinest]

All I can say is congrats for a) not responding and b) not getting your hopes up.

 

Keep the upper hand, man.

[Destroyed 33]

All I can say is congrats for a) not responding and b) not getting your hopes up.

 

Keep the upper hand, man.

 

Thanks. I turned out to be way stronger than I ever thought I could be but it is still extremely hard. I still think about her ever second of the day. I miss her more than words can express and am still head over heals in love with her. There is nothing I can do though. The person I love is dead. Only a complete stranger remains. Heartless, cold and cruel.

 

I was hanging out with a buddy today and we were talking about the situation. I was literally laughing over how crazy the whole thing is. It actually makes me smile and laugh from time to time now. Just so incredibly ridiculous. 16 years, everything is pretty much perfect, seeming fine and then... She just falls off the face of the planet. "I love you, kisses, hugs, have a good day at work, see ya later!" and the very same day... "I didnt want to do this over the phone but I dont want to be with you anymore" and then she never came home!!!! LMFAO!

 

I dont know. Just rambling but it does crack me up. On top of all that, she has actually got herself convinced that she did the right thing and went about it the right way! LOL. Completely twisted. I digress though.

[Cherry009]

Well it wasn't perfect was it, not for about 6 years after she cheated on you the first time, she felt trapped and you wouldn't listen to her cries for want of freedom.....but....yes she did go about it the wrong way.

 

Keep reminding yourself that you dodged a bullet by not ending up with a cheater for the rest of your life, you are free now, to find yourself and figure out who you are as a person, an individual. Trust me one day in the future you will look back and realise everything happens for a reason & this was indeed a good thing that happened.

[Tanzi]

Re bolded, LOL, oldest trick in the book. I have used it myself actually. I think it's bothering her that you're not falling all over her, and she misses your attention. This was her way of trying to get it.

 

Glad you didn't fall for it!

 

Agree with this.

 

Sending a message by mistake is one thing …. but then a response?? Assuming she was supposedly replying to her dad's message, how do you do that?

 

I've accidentally on purpose missent a text before. When I hadn't heard from an ex, I wanted to remind him I still existed and was getting on with my life happily without him. Shamefully embarrassing really lol.

 

Agreed ... glad you didn't fall for it!

[Tanzi]

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not "you" she missing, it's your "attention." Big difference. And in no way does it mean she's thinking about getting back together. She just doesn't like being ignored, which is what you are doing. TRUST ME, as soon as you start responding to her, and giving her the attention she so craves, she will start ignoring you again.

 

Continue going no contact. I would also suggest blocking her or changing your phone number so she does not have access to you.

 

Have to agree with this too. Absolutely.

 

It's the same when ex's (as the dumpers) make contact. We believe it is because they miss us, want us back etc but really it is because they want some attention or want their ego-stroked or just to know that we are still there for them. Ultimately, though, their wish is to sill move on.

 

She wants to know that you are missing her. She wants to know that you aren't moving on. She wants to know that you are responsive to her … it DOESN'T mean she wants you back.

[lavenderdove]

>>I am smiling ear to ear thinking that there is a slight chance that this was intentional.

 

These things of errant texts can happen BUT not often. I think what you need to guard against is that many ex's want to 'cream skim.' As in, they want to hang onto the parts of the relationship they find value in, while jettisoning the rest. And if you've have a long relationship as you had, they may want to stay friends for the emotional support of long time familiarity, and also assuage the guilt of dumping you by telling themselves, 'see, that ended up fine and it was OK I took up with someone else and left. we're friends and he's fine with it.'

 

What you need to focus on is that this is a girl who cheated with other men TWICE while she was with you (or maybe more than twice but you just didn't catch her at all of them). So she is not capable of staying faithful to you, and you could take her back 50 times and she'd find 50 new men to bolt for whenever she got bored or wanted to chase a whim.

 

I would stay polite with her until you've settled your financial affairs to your satisfaction. Then after that, you should cut her off and go looking for a women who has the ability to be faithful and stay with you rather than being a repeat cheater/liar. You don't want her as a friend OR a GF, so don't waste any time cutting her off once you've settled the financial business with her.

[Destroyed 33]

In regard to the bold part: This is exactly the mindset that I absolutely will not give her. Its not okay in any way shape or form. She met a guy and after three weeks of knowing him, threw away a 16 year relationship that was "seemingly" perfect. She broke my heart in the worst way possible and if I only have one thing, its the refusal to ever forgiver her or "be friends". As far as what she has told the rest of her family and friends about what happened, I can only assume but I am looking forward to the day where I run into one of them at a grocery store or mall or whatever and let them know EXACTLY what she did and how dirty she is. I am not seeking them out but I will let them know what she did.

 

As far as my "smiling ear to ear" comment is concerned... I am not praying for a reconciliation at this point. I cant comprehend how it would be possible at all if she did come back, I was just happy for a second at the idea of her starting to squirm a little and see some kind of effect. She has shown nothing since the day she left. Completely cold.

 

Thanks lavender. I think I am pretty stabilized now. Still hard as hell but consistent and I have most of my marbles back.