My BF told me to love him less.

[missbritz]

No special reason. He doesn't work just because. He's "looking for a job", but I know it's a half-hearted attempt. We've been dating for almost a year now, and he's been jobless since we met last year. He made me do his resume once and the last work experience he's had was in 2011. He doesnt take classes. He just basically stays home. He just got his driver's license last week with the use of my car. I'm not trying to put him down or anything, but maybe some background about him would provide some insight for your advice.

 

No No No....the bolded sentence......slipping into co-dependency here my friend.

Get away and stay away. What 26 year old doesn't want to get a job? a loser that's who!

And 'makes' his girlfriend do his resume.????

Honey this man has no sense of responsibility for himself! look, we all get stuck in a funk once or twice, but a year without a job? and still only 'half hearted' attempts at finding one, at that!!?

You need to get yourself gone ASAP! Before this man drags you down with him.

and the longer you 'look after him' the worse it will get, trust me.

[Cheetarah]

It's one thing to look for a job and have a hard time landing one, but even if you're not picky whatsoever you can find SOMETHING within a couple of months(gas station attendant, retail, whatever). So yes, it certainly is a half hearted attempt. 3 years unemployed due to laziness is really, really pathetic.

 

I need to ask what do you see in him? This is not about his money but this is about motivation. He has none at all.

[Fifidifi]

It's one thing to look for a job and have a hard time landing one, but even if you're not picky whatsoever you can find SOMETHING within a couple of months(gas station attendant, retail, whatever). So yes, it certainly is a half hearted attempt. 3 years unemployed due to laziness is really, really pathetic.

 

I need to ask what do you see in him? This is not about his money but this is about motivation. He has none at all.

 

He used to be really caring. He would literally move mountains just to make me happy... before, that is. I overlooked the fact that he was already 26 and still jobless, that he didnt have a driver's license and a car, because he was so nice to me and would do anything for me. Now he just doesn't care anymore. Every time I would ask him to sit down and talk about what I feel about the relationship, he would totally shut me out and yell at me and tell me I'm being selfish and stuff like that.

[mhowe]

Jobless, car -less, no license, and 26......bye bye.

[journeynow]

I think I answered too soon, but given the additional details, he doesn't sound like a very good partner to invest your love and time with. What he once had going for him, his affection and attention, he is now withdrawing, and that is all he had to offer. I'm sorry. I know you said you love him, but now is a good time for you to pull back and decide what you want. Don't neglect loving yourself, and do what is best for you in the long run.

[Fifidifi]

Thank you everyone for the responses and advise. I did a bit of thinking and realized that this is not the kind of relationship I would want to be in anyway. I admit I am feeling a bit needy and I know I have to work on that - not just in this relationship, but also for those to come in the future.

 

. What he once had going for him, his affection and attention, he is now withdrawing, and that is all he had to offer. I'm sorry.

This is absolutely what I feel right now. And apparently, what he had to offer me has "expired". He had always wanted me to reciprocate his feelings and efforts for our relationship, and when I did, he backed off.

[Seraphim]

Jobless, car -less, no license, and 26......bye bye.

 

Ummm yeah. That's my vote. I would be loving him less alright it's called not at all.

[Ms Darcy]

He used to be really caring. He would literally move mountains just to make me happy... before, that is. I overlooked the fact that he was already 26 and still jobless, that he didnt have a driver's license and a car, because he was so nice to me and would do anything for me. Now he just doesn't care anymore. Every time I would ask him to sit down and talk about what I feel about the relationship, he would totally shut me out and yell at me and tell me I'm being selfish and stuff like that.

 

He's a loser. Just leave this fool alone.

 

Also, he didn't "literally" move mountains. Just a little grammatical pet peeve of mine.