Can't get him out of my head.

[SilverManic]

Even though I'm feeling better about the whole break up now I still can't get him out of my head. I still have 2 books and a shirt of his and he still has a load of my clothes. We're not talking and I have asked for my stuff back but he keeps forgetting. We're hardly being friends at the moment even though he said he wanted to be and now I've got past the point of caring. I still want to be his friend but I don't want it to be a one sided effot.

I feel really detached now like I don't know what to feel. Since it's the Christmas hollidays I haven't seen my counciler for 2 weeks. I'm going back after the holidays. I just don't know what I'm feeling I guess. Weather I want him back or weather I don't, I've realized it's unlikely to happen because he made a really crap excuse and seems like he just wasn't happy with me. I don't know maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship but it's really ruined our friendship.

I feel like these feelings arn't normal. Are we ever going to be friends or does he just not care anymore? Has the relationship we had compleatly requed the friendship or could the friendship come back? We're kinda in the NC phase at the moment, although I was getting better he was constantly telling me that I was being his ex not his friend and I can't see it. I treated him the same I would any friend. Now I feel I have to make alowances and not do things I do for my other friends because he gets the wrong idea.

I guess I'm confused and don't know what to do, if I should do anything or if we're not even going to be friends and my effot is a waste of time?

Any feed back on the situation would be apreciated.

[titan]

after any relationship that is ended you need some time apart...It may be one week or one year..Its different for everyone.

 

Take some time off...Continue that NC thing and forget trying to be friends for the moment....you may have to even ignore his calls, just do it and then see what happens.

[SilverManic]

He doesn't call and probably won't I'm not bothered about that. I feel like I've lost a close friend. I could tell him everything before and juring the relationship and now we don't even talk. But I guess the NC is going to carry on for at least a while.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

It isnt normal, coz u feel that u shouldnt have felt that way. This is just a temporary feeling.

 

When a guy says that u are his ex but not his friend, he means that he doesnt want to have any friendship with u at the current moment. But that doesnt mean he dun care. U still need time to see that, coz u are still treating him as a friend and very much expect that he treats u as a friend.

 

Give him time, and continue your NC, have fun while u can, we shall see how later. In the meantime, i dun think he wans to return u your stuff, just let him take care of them first..

[titan]

believe me its hard to go from talking like three times a day to not speaking. The adjustment period is the hardest. Never feel like there is noone to talk too. I bet all your friends are willing and able to listen.

[SilverManic]

Yeah it is pretty hard to ajust to. When I was going out with him he never wanted me to leave his side. I was at his pratically the whole time we were going out. I only went home a few times because I said I needed to get clothes and have a bit of space and time. But now it's all of a sudden like this. He's confusing me like hell.

[lady00]

It's sad but true...it isn't unusual for a couple to go from being really close and telling each other everything to breaking up and not speaking anymore. Relationships often work out that way. The best thing for you to do is probably to just minimize contact w/your ex. If he wants to talk, he'll call, if he doesn't he won't. But you also have the power to ignore him if he tries to contact you. He's doing what makes him feel best...you should do the same. My guess is that talking to him isn't it.