Under Contract

[ingenue]

The house that we bought together is now under contract. It was our first house. Lots of good memories. Lots of bad.

 

I moved out last May. He just put the house on the market and it's been a week under contract. If nothing falls through, it will be sold in a week.

 

A part of me want to walk through it one last time. If for nothing else, then for closure.

 

A part of me want to keep moving forward.

 

Would contacting the ex to ask him if it's OK for me to walk through it be two steps back?

[mhowe]

Yes. It is a house. It is part of your past, not your future. And you have been out for more than a year.

 

Leave it alone.

[Destroyed 33]

I say, do it. But expect it to bring on a wave of unbearable pain. Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to move forward. That is just my opinion do whatever you feel is right for you though. There is no question that it will set you back. No pain no gain?

[RedDress]

I have to agree with mhowe on this one.

 

Has he been living there all this time? Is his stuff still there? If so, you are kind of being disruptive and I don't see what 'closure' you will get from walking through it again. Closure comes from within.

 

If you must, I would say you can drive by the house after it has been sold and the new people are living there.

 

... but really, it's your past. You should leave it in the past. And it's just a 'thing'. Things come and go - it's your memories that stay. You don't need to go back through the house to go back through the memories...