Ruminating And Don't Understand?

[SonyTV73]

Since I met up for a catch up with my ex girlfriend of 6 weeks a week ago today, something has been going over and over in mind.

 

The catch up was fine even though I was terribly nervous and not relaxed.

I was asking my ex how her work was and she told me she might be up for promotion in September.

I went over the top by saying well done and if anybody deserves promotion it's you.

She then gave me a look (the look she does to gauge my reaction and see if I bite) to say that she may not take it as she wants to start a family.

This made my heart drop a mile.

I asked her if she was pregnant and with nervous laughter she turned her head away and said, 'who will make me pregnant as there isn't anyone.'

I can remember it all going quiet and I told her softly that I would really be jealous if she was pregnant.

 

Is this designed to make me jealous do you think as I'm over analysing it?

 

I am in Day 5 (Second time around) of NC and I'm in a much better place as in the last few days as I'm trying to restore the balance through being a bit stronger.

 

Any thoughts?

[sharky988]

This is why those post-breakup "meet ups" are so deadly.... people go for some kind of "closure", but they usually only leave you with more unanswered questions.

 

Was she trying to make you jealous? Nope, she's over you. If she wanted to get back together, she'd have made a move. Instead, she's bonding with you as a FRIEND by telling you her troubles.

 

That's where you are now.... in the Friend Zone.

 

Here's a guide that will help you stick to No Contact for good: link removed

[SonyTV73]

Thank you Sharky.

 

This is as I expected.

I know she's moved on and it breaks my heart.

She was my best mate so to not see her is killing me.....plus there is someone else.

 

I don't want to be in the dreaded 'Friend Zone' and I've been reading religiously the breakuprecoveryguide and its been really helpful and I'm trying my hardest to follow.

 

I followed up with a text to my ex to meet up again and she has said no to all the dates I have given her.

I asked about this weekend (how needy am I?!) and she has said she'll get back to me.....that was last Friday.

 

I'm in a position fortunately where I don't want to see her.

I want to restore the balance and come away with NC for ME and take her off the pedestal I've put her on.

I also have come to terms (this bit really, really hurts when I say this though) that I potentially may never see her again.

I know she'll be pregnant within 6 months......I'll be in pieces when that happens too as I had my opportunity and blew it.

 

[sharky988]

STOP the contact!

 

Yes -- you're being needy and causing yourself UNECCESSARY suffering!

 

Pain is inevitable after a breakup..... but suffering is a matter of choice, and by continuing to meet up and pursue contact, you're sticking your hand in the blender, over and over, despite knowing how much it's going to hurt!

 

Guess what: whether or not you ever see her again ISN'T GOING TO MATTER TO YOU AT ALL when enough time has passed and you've found your future new way-better girlfriend! That's right: somewhere out there for you is your new future way-better girlfriend and she's just WAITING for you to stop beating this dead horse, get your act together, move on and heal.... so you two can meet!

 

BLOCK your ex from your phone (or change your cell number). BLOCK her on Facebook and every online site and app you use. MAN UP. Stop being such a spineless doormat -- the more you cling to her ankles, the less she respects you and -- way more importantly -- the less respect you have for yourself!

 

You can do it.

[SonyTV73]

Since the weekend I have felt a lot stronger.....although I don't sound it.

 

I have finally managed to see the negatives of my ex relationship rather than the 'hardly ever' good times.

None of my friends want me to get back with my ex at all.

I still do at the moment but I think I've gradually seen the light.

 

She wants a child desperately and the worrying thing is, that I can see that happening and not from me.

This disturbs me and upsets me and to be honest, I've not yet accepted this fact.

 

I have blocked Everything in regards to contact.

 

Trust me, I'm doing all I can to move on.

 

I need the support of people on here to accomplish this.

[BigKK]

This is a girlfriend of 6 weeks?

[SonyTV73]

No - 4.5 year relationship

6 weeks since breakup.

[Destroyed 33]

I think she was trying to make you jealous but not in a "chase me" kind of way. Sounds more like a vindictive little stab just for fun on her part. My ex did the same thing to me with some of her comments and talk about her future/ plans without me (post break up). I think it is empowering for them to throw a little dig like that. Boosts their confidence and leaves you trembling after or during... A little taste of spite even if you dont deserve it. Something in her deep in her mind wants you to want her even if she doesnt currently want you. Its power. Stay strong.