Ex wants to meet me but i didn't like her manners

[Bibora]

Well after 5 weeks of NC she sent me an email saying she would give me a brief moment to tell her something in person if i want. But i didn't like her attitude and the way she putted conditions. Check'em out:

 

"1) I do not want you back.

2) As soon as you try to touch me in any way, I will leave.

3) If you try to hurt me verbally, I will leave.

4) If you make an emotional scene, I will leave."

 

First of all i'm no monster. I did stuff wrong with her but nothing that would harm her. She overreact.

Secondly i don't think i wish to see her again. After what she accused, she would have to say she was sorry and she didn't. And seeing this email just makes me wish even less.

 

But a second opinion, would be greatfull.

 

And should i at least reply?

[Mentor]

I would not respond. It does not look like she has any respect for you, you need to at least have some respect for yourself.

 

Be strong, and don't chase after these scraps that she throws you.

 

Honestly think ahead. If you do see her under all of these imposed "conditions", how would you feel about yourself afterward?

[Roasted Carrots]

Eh I'm no expert, but it looks like she either

 

A.) Wants an explanation or closeure

B.) Feels like screaming at you for awhile.

 

She's being a bit pushy, but I think mostly she's being defensive. I say go, and find out if this meeting will do more harm than good. But if SHE starts anything (i.e. screaming at you, making a scene...) YOU just leave. Make your *own* conditions. I don't know what happened in your relationship, but you don't have to stick around from abuse from this girl an account of her "conditions".

 

Just make leave her if things get sticky, then continue NC. She sounds a bit insecure to me, and you're probably better off without her in your life-at all.

[Hope75]

Bilbora,

 

What happened in you relationship?

 

Is there ANY reason for her to act this way? Was your breakup an ugly one?

 

If you don't want to see her and have nothing to say to her than I would just ignore it. If you are seriously ready to move on there is not need to see her, esp. if she is this hostile about it.

 

I wouldn't even dignify her email with a response.

[Day_Walker]

It would be best if you dont respond, you have already said that you dont wish to see her so thats what you do. If she wants some sort of closure then thats for her to get. You are not obligated to give her anything. I dont even see the point of the actually meeting if she is going to act in that manner. Just keep up NC and she will do what she needs to do.

[Bibora]

Oh i forgot to had that when she left she said she didn't want to see me anymore. Guess i better do as she wants...

[Tryingtobestrong]

HI Bibora,

 

I also think that you should not meet her or even reply to her email.

 

It seems like your NC is getting results. Not the results you want, (I suppose) but at least she is contacting you.

 

Give it more time of NC and if she contacts you in a friendlier, more respectful way, decide if you want to see her or not.

 

Good luck with everything!

[PrincessLinzay]

I would not respond to that email at all. I don't know why she even bothered to send it to be perfectly honest. I know I wouldn't want to meet up with ANYONE who had to put a list of conditions for our meeting up. Just seems childish.

 

If she had something interesting to say, and she's so concerned about your reaction, she should just email it to you. Sheesh, I can't believe she actually sent that rubbish.

[Bibora]

Well so far didn't made a decision. I'm really curious to know what she as of so important to say, but in the other hand i don't know if i want to see her...

Some friends told me i don't have nothing to loose if i go see her. Well maybe not, except the fact i can be broken again...

Arghhh dilema :

Why did she had to send this mail...........

[FleX]

What else is there to be said? Who cares what she thinks. She dumped you. NC means NC... she e-mails you and gives you a chance to talk to her on her own terms. Forget that... don't fuel her twisted ego and mind games. And for heavens sake don't tell her what your feeling. The best thing is to smile and walk away. No remorse no regrets... let her be the one to suffer what you've gone through.

[Mentor]

Hey FleX,

 

You have a really great attitude!

 

Keep it up. You set a good example for the rest of us.

 

 

[amanda22]

what a meanie head (for lack of better words that i cant say here) i would respond to her email just to say: dont worry x,y, or z wont happen because i dont even care to see you, later!

 

how dare she put restrictions on you as if you need them. hmmm, sounds a bit like she likes drama. or maybe respond to her email sarcastically and say: only if you promise to do the same j/k i really rather not see you with that attitude.

 

i just find it kind of funny that she actually thinks you may want to hang out with her after this. and of course, you can always just let it go and not respond, why deal with the drama?

 

let us know what you decide to do...

[Bibora]

small update.

I decided to email her asking her what is so important she has to say to me personally, that it couldn't be said over mail. Dunno if it's a wise decision to actually reply to her after that mail, but i'm gonna see what happens.

[Bibora]

Sorry dudes... I end up going... And now i wish i didn't...

She just wanted to remind me the harm i did to her (wish im truly sorry for it and i wish i never had done it) and to make sure if i get another girl that i wouldn't do the same. She even said i should seek help... God damn so much emotional stuff it left me now feeling bad... Well she said did caring about me and that i was hiding the truth... Too much to say here...

She even end up saying she before hoped i would be her husband and father of her children... Great to end up a tense conversation don't you think?

 

Damn i really am stupid for lots of reasons

[ocean9]

Bibora,

 

I don't know why she would do that....that seems odd and rather inappropriate...she could have written all of that in a letter...it seems cruel somehow. If you honestly think you need some sort of help, I hope you take care of yourself and do what you need to do...but that decision has to come from inside of you.

 

How are you feeling now?

[PrincessLinzay]

It's almost like she only wanted to see you so that you could see what you were missing. I honestly don't know why she needed to speak with you about these things in particular.

 

I would commence NC and try to keep yourself occupied.

 

Good luck!

[Bibora]

Well i don't know she would be that mean. In fact she is a very caring person. I think she wanted to show me how bad she was doing or something, and to throw in some sort of closure.

But if she didn't want me to feel even worse, well sorry she failed. Its my fault though, i shouldnt have gone.

And no, i don't need any help. I did bad things that i wish i could change, but i can't. I can only learn.

Now what i think is that she really needs help... Makes a big drama over this, (she might have her reasons, but i don't understand) and says she can't trust ppl anymore (but says she will give a new years eve party to her friends). She already had lots of problems before, and she needed medical attention. I dunno, but i think she needs it again.

 

Well for my own sake, im back to NC, cause for what i got in this meeting nothing further will happen, and i guess its for the best.

[Hope75]

Bilbora,

 

Sorry things worked out this way. I think she could have told you this in a letter, and if she was truly afraid she woudn't have wanted to meet you in person.

 

You already know what you did was wrong and I believe you are sorry and prob. won't do it again, but I suggest you let this girl go for good and go back to NC and this time stick to it. All she did was make it worse by rubbing it in your face.

 

If she contacts you again, I'd ignore her.