Binoo Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Maybe I'm just being stupid but I hate when my boyfriend calls other girls hot. He usually just says it about celebrities but either way it really bothers me. And I know guys look and whatnot but I wish he wouldn't say stuff like that in front of me. I know what guys talk about amongst each other and I wish he would just keep it that way. I find it really rude and a huge turn off that he says stuff like this to me. I don't see the reason for it. Does this bother anyone else or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Link to comment
LostnConfused Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 You should probably talk to him and tell him you don't like it. It he persists than you have a problem. I also think it's perfectly normal for a partner to express who they think is attractive. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Unless he is throwing it in your face I wouldnt take it to heartt. But I would let him know you dont like it. I know everyone has celebritity crushes or w/e. I know what celebrities my gf like. She def knows mine too . Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 So tell him how you feel about it already. Yes, it's rude but sometimes people are just dumb about those things. Tell him once then if he does it again it's time to talk about your favorite male celebs and compare notes with him on who is hotter, Tatum Channing or Zac Effron or whoever it is you think is hot. And exactly why--i.e. "Well Tatum has better pecs than yours, but I love how Zac has those blue eyes. Too bad yours aren't like that..." Okay, I'm sort of joking, but trying to get you to see that you need to speak up. And remind him gently either through communication first or example afterwards that it doesn't feel so nice when your SO talks about other people in a sexual way in front of you. If he shows you has a double standard and continues to do it, but has a cow over you doing it then break things off. He's being rude on purpose and is disrespecting you. Right now you're just at the, "Let's give him the benefit of a doubt that he hasn't really ever been around women before and just opens mouth and inserts foot." But don't let that one slide, ever. Remember, if you wouldn't do it to them then don't give them a pass when they do it to you. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Personally, I'd laugh and tell him that his eyesight must be going because I'm waaayyy hotter. Sometimes a little confidence will take you further than an insecure talk about your feelings. Link to comment
Beautiful Nightmare Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 It would bother me if it happened frequently. I really don't understand why anyone would feel the need to point out someone else's attractiveness to their partner. Okay, yeah, she's hot. Why are you telling me this? I don't get it. For me it comes down to having tact - not all thoughts need to be voiced. If it bothers you, tell him. Ask him to stop. Link to comment
mustard1234 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I'd like to add the question... why, precisely, does this bother you? Do you think he'll leave you for someone that possesses these traits? Are you insecure about his attraction to you? Is there reason for this insecurity? Does he compliment others more than he compliments you? I'd do a little soul searching on this topic. For me, there's only one man where the issue deeply affected me. Offhanded comments about someone/something being hot are quite common and happened with nearly every man I've dated. But, for whatever reason, this was the only time it registered to me as hurtful. He commented while we were watching Lost that Evangeline Lily was sexy and I about lost. my. shet. This man would later go one to cheat on me with a girl that looked just like Evangeline Lily and was 30 lbs lighter and 5 years younger than I was. But...maybe that's not helpful. Heh. My point is, investigate internally exactly where the resistance and "hell no" reaction is coming from within yourself. This will very much help you prepare to address the topic with him directly, per the solid advice above. Best of luck. We're in your corner. Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum here. I BEG my BF to point out which celebrities he finds hot. I'd like to know more about what appeals to him. Obviously, I do, but I'd like guidance. As long as he's not talking about how sexy Lucy from next door is I say just pay attention to what he likes. Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 sadly, every guy I have EVER dated has always done the same thing, now im just used to it and expect it Link to comment
Lala5001 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Ask him to keep it to himself. Thats how he should talk to his boy mates and youre a lady,you dont talk to a lady like that. Tell him its not off interest to you and to stop boring you with it. Link to comment
ChiBrunette Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Me personally - unphased. I would agree that if it leaves you that insecure, maybe you need to look inside and address the real problem. My boyfriend points out celebs that he thinks are "hot" or "pretty" all the time. I personally think if something like this is bothering you - yes you can ask him to stop (and you should tell him its bothering you), but then take a look at you. There may be some self esteem issues that need to be addressed. Link to comment
Ami109 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 Maybe I'm just being stupid but I hate when my boyfriend calls other girls hot. He usually just says it about celebrities but either way it really bothers me. And I know guys look and whatnot but I wish he wouldn't say stuff like that in front of me. I know what guys talk about amongst each other and I wish he would just keep it that way. I find it really rude and a huge turn off that he says stuff like this to me. I don't see the reason for it. Does this bother anyone else or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Ive seen a bunch of replies to this topic across the internet from the range of "dump him" to "get married" (lol). im exactly the same as you in my reaction and I don't buy all the reasons to give him a pass, not least being "it's not that bad", "he should let you talk about other guys" and I hate it possibly most of all when people tell me that insecurity is a turnoff. As I see it, the way you feel about him is clearly more special than the way he acts around you. Im dealing with the same disgust and what keeps me focused is that I've had plenty of past guys that know how to talk to a woman they actually love and adore, and they never needed to mention other women. It's he**a embarrassing to me when it's in the company of others, and just plain rude when just the two of us. He needs to grow up. If you love him maybe you can talk to him and he can quit talking like a bro. if not, don't waste your energy and find someone who can love you the way you want to be loved. Amrita Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 Ive seen a bunch of replies to this topic across the internet from the range of "dump him" to "get married" (lol). im exactly the same as you in my reaction and I don't buy all the reasons to give him a pass, not least being "it's not that bad", "he should let you talk about other guys" and I hate it possibly most of all when people tell me that insecurity is a turnoff. As I see it, the way you feel about him is clearly more special than the way he acts around you. Im dealing with the same disgust and what keeps me focused is that I've had plenty of past guys that know how to talk to a woman they actually love and adore, and they never needed to mention other women. It's he**a embarrassing to me when it's in the company of others, and just plain rude when just the two of us. He needs to grow up. If you love him maybe you can talk to him and he can quit talking like a bro. if not, don't waste your energy and find someone who can love you the way you want to be loved. Amrita This thread is 6 years old. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.