Why me, again.....

[AN2004]

I had a lot of problems getting over an ex earlier this year. Seems like I finally got over her, when I meet this other woman who tells me she just wants to be friends. Long story short, she starts to warm up to me in more than just a friendly fashion, and instead of just letting it see how it will go, I smother her with affection, because it just felt so good to be loved again. So she tells me that she really only sees us as friends and the chemistry just isnt there.

 

I just dont know what to do now. I am back to the state I was in when I got dumped at the beginning of the year, I cant sleep, eat etc. If we had just been in the friend stage, I was getting to be okay with that, now that I laid my 'cards' on the table, I dont know if I can handle being around her anylonger. So now I need to decide if I am about to lose a great friend, because she states the spark just isnt there.

[XxxMUAHxxX]

I know what you feel like... I get like this often. But personally, I think you should keep the great friend, you never know when you will need her next. Just because you two don't have "chemistry" doesn't mean that you can't talk to her in a simple fashion. And if you can't talk to her at this moment, give it time. I'd say wait like 3 weeks, then slowly start gabbing to her again. Maybe, JUST MAYBE...if you let things cool down for a bit, you could start a fresh new relationship with her later?

[bzborow1]

It sounds like classic wussy behavior. What I mean by that is with this new girl, you smothered her, did too many things for her, paid her too much attention. Attraction is more like 2 people holding a rubber band together, if one party pushes forward too much, the band slips and falls off. Life and women aren't fair, but that's a good thing. Just as you've haven't had much success this past year, you can have more success then you know what to do with.

 

I would take this time to really analyze yourself, the things you did to cause your EX's to leave (smothering them, putting them on a pedestal?), and the things you can do to become more successful. Sure you'll feel down sometimes, but it's only a loss if you choose not to learn from it.

[Luscious]

I think that you should continue to be friends with her, because you never know where friends may leadin the future. But, I suggest that you stop falling for people so quickly, yes you have been hurt in the past so you need your wounds to fully heal. All of us at one point in our lives wants to be love by someone so I know how you feel. But when you meet someone new for the first time build a friendship and see if this is someone worth knowing on that level because the relationship may work better as friends. Remember don't ever jump straight in a relationship because it seems like this is the right thing to do and when you're at a vulnerable state. You wanna know for sure what you're doing so take it slow sometimes thats where you can always protect your heart. Don't give anyone the keys to your heart unless they're going to cherish it and safe guard it like its the most important thing in the world!!

[AN2004]

Yeah, I know its textbook behavior not to do. The thing is, I was getting to be okay with just being friends. We did everything together, but when it started warming up, I just fell for it. I guess my other question would be, do you think that the friendship is salvagable? Her knowing my true feelings seems to make everything else that I do suspect

[bzborow1]

It's all in how YOU act around her. If you act weird, then yes...if you come with the attitude, "that's cool...wutever"...it won't cause problems.