Kiss and Tell?

[junebug123]

So, recently i posted about this girl i hooked up with on Valentines day. It was a month ago and since then a few things have happened. For one we saw each other again twice, the first time being not so great but the third date was actually really good where we had a long heart to heart and i feel like we made progress in terms of where this was going. Then, she tells me after we planned another date which was suppose to be this Thursday (that she would have to reschedule due to work or bands or something).

 

The problem is that this girl is just very unavailable and after I confronted her about it (earlier when we first started setting up dates) she got very defensive explaining that she is in 2 bands and is bartending at a few places. After on 3rd date she explains that the reason she is still single at 33 is because she is "independent" and has trouble making time for men.

 

I have gotten to a point in my life where i have just become tired of the BS, i am not sure if she is really doing everything she is, or if i am just getting played out (which is what has happened to me in the past). I started flirting with this girl from work who seemed very available. After i got her number and a failed first date she decided to go out with me today. One thing led to another and we kissed and cuddled a little at the bar and i invited her to my place this Saturday and she agreed. All in all, i don't know if this will amount to anything because she is leaving to another State very soon and this is all just a very casual and relaxed time (nothing serious like with this Valentines day girl).

 

However, there is the possibility of intercourse with this work girl and now i am wondering if I am in the wrong here. All in all, this other girl hasn't made any commitments to me (we are "dating" and she mentioned earlier how she doesn't want anything serious right now (although i feel as though we are headed in that direction) ). The other thing is that i don't know if this Valentines day girl will even get back to me about rescheduling our date because last time we talked I told her that she knew my availability and that I would basically wait until she was available (she hasn't messaged me yet and it has been 3 days).

[wilyone 11]

Wow, you are nowhere near exclusive with the Valentines day girl, she has told you she doesn't want anything serious, she cancelled your last date and you have no idea when your next date is.

 

And you are concerned that having sex with another woman could be "wrong"?

 

The only thing wrong is your approach to dating.

[missmarple]

You can sleep with whoever you want. The Val girl and you have nothing but 3 dates, declarations of independence and waiting until she's 'available'. Go on with your life.

[junebug123]

You can sleep with whoever you want. The Val girl and you have nothing but 3 dates, declarations of independence and waiting until she's 'available'. Go on with your life.

 

Yes, but then i suppose the worry is that if we continue to date whether i am obligated to admit that i have slept with other women since starting to see her and should i be worried that she is sleeping with other men. If dating is really this open ended why bother at all . . .

[missmarple]

Yes, but then i suppose the worry is that if we continue to date whether i am obligated to admit that i have slept with other women since starting to see her and should i be worried that she is sleeping with other men. If dating is really this open ended why bother at all . . .

 

I don't see why you'd have to tell her what you did when you were just dating and, especially, when she's already told you she doesn't want anything serious right now.