bostonsfinest2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 I did apologize.She's asked many question since the break-up which I answered honestly.what else can I do.just give her space? Link to comment
sharky988 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Wait, so OP cheated on this girl? she seems very genuine and it's rather painful to read her in pain, did you do that to her? confused... OP was caught chatting up women online during the relationship. He still denies there was anything sexual going on. Personally, I don't blame the ex -- you can't forgive someone for doing something they're not being honest about having done. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 You broke her trust in you, and she will probably never get it back. Part of her still loves you & wants to be with you, but a bigger part remembers the hurt & pain you put her through. Why be a douchebag & get other girls numbers? That is a low act. You proved to her that she wasn't the "one & only" in your life, she wasn't good enough, and now you are paying the price. Leave her alone & let her work through her pain, and learn a valuable lesson on how not to treat your future gf. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 OP was caught chatting up women online during the relationship. He still denies there was anything sexual going on. Personally, I don't blame the ex -- you can't forgive someone for doing something they're not being honest about having done. I thank you for always answering me.but I can honestly say I never made one sexual gesture to those girls while with my girlfriend.I have come to terms what I did was extremely wrong and if the shoe was on the other foot I would be pissed.but this is a chance to grow for me and make this relationship stronger.I told her I wish her happiness even if it's without me which I really do.should I just fully give up and go completely nc and never answer her.I can say if we went for it again I would not repeat those mistakes.everything else I have her was lovely.she regarded me as her "best" "to end all" Link to comment
sharky988 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 I thank you for always answering me.but I can honestly say I never made one sexual gesture to those girls while with my girlfriend.I have come to terms what I did was extremely wrong and if the shoe was on the other foot I would be pissed.but this is a chance to grow for me and make this relationship stronger.I told her I wish her happiness even if it's without me which I really do.should I just fully give up and go completely nc and never answer her.I can say if we went for it again I would not repeat those mistakes.everything else I have her was lovely.she regarded me as her "best" "to end all" IF you did nothing wrong..... WHY did your girlfriend break up with you for it? Is she just crazy? IF you did nothing wrong.... WHY are you now saying you understand it was wrong and you've changed and won't do it again? Cheaters always deny what they did -- your explanations never make sense. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 she regarded me as her "best" "to end all" You didn't regard her as yours, and that is the crux of the issue. No girl wants to be second best. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 IF you did nothing wrong..... WHY did your girlfriend break up with you for it? Is she just crazy? IF you did nothing wrong.... WHY are you now saying you understand it was wrong and you've changed and won't do it again? Cheaters always deny what they did -- your explanations never make sense. I'm saying I didn't do it in the reason for cheating.I am actually going to start working for my brother ego is a personal trainer.I wasn't getting their numbers to "hook up" I never made a go.I figured the more people maybe I could get them to train. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 I'm saying I didn't do it in the reason for cheating.I am actually going to start working for my brother ego is a personal trainer.I wasn't getting their numbers to "hook up" I never made a go.I figured the more people maybe I could get them to train. In your last thread you claimed you were just chatting to be "friends" because you had moved and didn't know many people. You should get your stories straight. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 In your last thread you claimed you were just chatting to be "friends" because you had moved and didn't know many people. You should get your stories straight. That too but like I said I never had a "go" at any of them over girl even told me she was friends with her.so if it was that big of a deal why would I ask her for it if it was in sexual manner. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Whatever. Good luck with it. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 Whatever. Good luck with it. Like I said, thanks for your help.I understand exactly where your coming from.I have been reflecting and self improving. I guess the only reason I still am holding on was because she said she still could see us together on the future.thank you for your help again. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 To answer your question, yes you need to give her space and ask her to give you space as well. Be straight with her for once and tell her directly that you have apologized, have seen it from her perspective even though you don't agree with it and never meant for things to look that way, you've done all you can to make things right between you. Now either she can forgive you and get past this or she can't. The ball is in her court. What you both can't do is hang in limbo like this. Neither together nor moving forward separately. ETA: I revise my previous statement about her just wanting attention to I suspect she is actually punishing you with all those e-mails by showing you just how much pain and confusion you've caused her as well. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 [QUmuDancingFool;5977910]To answer your question, yes you need to give her space and ask her to give you space as well. Be straight with her for once and tell her directly that you have apologized, have seen it from her perspective even though you don't agree with it and never meant for things to look that way, you've done all you can to make things right between you. Now either she can forgive you and get past this or she can't. The ball is in her court. What you both can't do is hang in limbo like this. Neither together nor moving forward separately. ETA: I revise my previous statement about her just wanting attention to I suspect she is actually punishing you with all those e-mails by showing you just how much pain and confusion you've caused her as well. Thank you.I told her if she possibly wants to rekindle just reach out.this time by myself is for me to move on but more importantly dig deep and finally learn to be honest. As much as I wish it will be with her, if not at least I can self improve and be a better man as well as boyfriend. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Sending you crazy ramblings is not a call for a mature conversation and reconciliation. It is just a call for attention, selfish, immature and sounds a bit nuts reading from the outside. If I got e-mail's like that, I'd run. Wow...i didn't see it that way at all! I read it as a girl who is hurting. Maybe cuz she sounded a lot like me. Then again, maybe I'm nuts too! Aren't we all a little nuts when we are hurt??? Selfish? Immature? How can you get all of that from her txts. I went back and read them again.....and i still didn't get that out of them... Just goes to show, 10 people can read the same thing, and 10 people will all see something different. OP. My bf (fiance) cheated on me. She, in her mind, thinks you cheated on her. When i got back with my bf, i questioned him a LOT about it. I had a lot to question.....he wanted to say he was sorry...ONE TIME...and then i was too drop it. Didn't happen. He had kept seeing her, and then eventually dumped me AGAIN for her. All i can say is, when she feels like she can trust you, she MAY let you back into her life. YOU go NO CONTACT if you DON"T want her. That is so you can get over her, and she can get over you. If you DO WANT her, then contact her. Talk to her. Of course she will pull back...she's hurting. Give her space when she needs it. Comfort when she needs it...and above all else...be HONEST! Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 I just feel to available.Like I said I saw her 3 times last week.lovely days then on Friday she said she couldn't do it anymore.I went to get my hat in tears and she just said she can't forgive me.you don't think it's best to let her think and possibly miss me? I think she knows she can fall back on me so she'll keep me around.and I have been honest with not only get but everyone.I haven't told a lie in at least a month. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 I've told her to forgive me so many times.she just can't do it.I know I messed up but it's not right to string me along.I was crushed the last time I saw her. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Stop allowing yourself to be strung along. Consider it over and move on. You are both rehashing the same thing over and over with no progress. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 Stop allowing yourself to be strung along. Consider it over and move on. You are both rehashing the same thing over and over with no progress. I.know it's just I want it to work badly.I'm sticking to no contact and fixing myself. Almost at a week. Feeling better but won't be over her for a while. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 It isn't going to work. You were dishonest. You apologized. You broke the trust. She refuses to put it behind her. Lesson learned by you --- honesty is the best policy. Link to comment
Liraele Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 You're going to respond, anyway. Might as well give you some advice for doing it. If you love this girl, if you want her back, then she has to allow it. If she won't allow it, you have to be strong enough to walk away. Back and forth will hurt her just as much as it hurts you. So, you need to man up, lay your cards on the table, and be willing to walk the walk, whichever way it goes. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 It isn't going to work. You were dishonest. You apologized. You broke the trust. She refuses to put it behind her. Lesson learned by you --- honesty is the best policy. It really is.wish I could have learned that before but I didn't now off to become a better person. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 You're going to respond, anyway. Might as well give you some advice for doing it. If you love this girl, if you want her back, then she has to allow it. If she won't allow it, you have to be strong enough to walk away. Back and forth will hurt her just as much as it hurts you. So, you need to man up, lay your cards on the table, and be willing to walk the walk, whichever way it goes. I already put all my cards on the table.all contact will be avoided unless it's her telling me she I'd ready to forgive abd possibly reconcile. Link to comment
bostonsfinest2 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 Stick with it, then. But how.I just don't understand what more I can do? I've done everything in my power been truthful. I left the ball on her court I don't want to feel needy.if she really loved me she would come back, right? Link to comment
Liraele Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 You leave the ball in her court, and move on with your life. If she comes around, you deal with it then. If she doesn't, you haven't put your life on hold for her. That she doesn't come back doesn't mean that she didn't love you. It could mean one of several things, but it doesn't necessarily mean that. A breakup doesn't negate all the good or make it disappear or mean it was fake... it just means that it won't continue into the future. Link to comment
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