Help:(

[Alone14]

Me and my Bf have been in long distance since three years. He has Gone off once into his cocoon getting carried away from silly stuff like clubbing , drinks and smoking. He had left talking to me for six months after Which he realised his mistakes and was Sorry about it. Initially i was Sorry about it and i was angry . But things got better. But Then i was so traumatised by this that even a small fight would scare me Where he would Leave me. So i ran away from talking to him for a month. Then when i came back, he said he loves me and all. But he said i can't expect him to be Sweet overnight. I've been profusely apologising him. He says he accepts my apology but he acts very busy that he doesnt Even call once a dAy. Feeling very hurt. Pls help me. I'm not able to understand what to do. I have just been breaking down.

[SpottiOtti]

First of all, from what you've written here you have nothing to apologize for "profusely". You took off because you weren't sure about his level of commitment, which was completely justified given the fact that he didn't talk to you for six months. Now you are basically begging him, the one who screwed this up in the first place, to give you another chance. Do you see how backward this is? You've given him all the power here. You need to take some of it back. Sit down by yourself and think about what you want out of a relationship. Make a list. Examples:

 

1. I want to feel as though I am a priority. The guy can show me this by ___________________________. (you fill in the blank.)

2. I want to spend time together. We can do this by __________________________________________. (I realize this will be different for you since you're long-distance - maybe it's Skype once a week and a trip to see each other once a month, or something like that.)

 

Put whatever is important to you on the list. Then have a conversation with him about it. If he cannot fulfill what you need in a relationship in order to feel secure and content (which is the opposite of how you feel right now), then it's time to reconsider the relationship.

 

And if you are "breaking down" over this guy because you are scared to be alone, that might be something to think about and maybe journal about too.