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Okay so my birthday is coming up and there's a problem...


CAPS4SAMMEH

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Alright, back in September I went over to my friend's house, and I don't go over there much (lots of family problems), but she lives with her Aunt. When I was there her cousin said I was cute. was quickly trying to push me to talk to him, but I kept saying no cause I was afraid it'd make our friendship awkward. She assured me it wouldn't, so I started talking to him.

 

Well we've been going out since then, and I'm in love with him. But it really sucks, and my boyfriend really don't like each other (they've had a lot of family problems). So I never hang out with them together, just one or the other. One time my boyfriend was going to take me go-karting, and my friends wanted to tag along, but they wanted to go as well. She didn't want to go but eventually gave in. It was terrible, she'd sigh and roll her eyes whenever said anything, and it was just terribly awkward. So I've made sure to avoid this since.

 

But lately when I hang out with Asia she'll say stuff about , trying to break us up. I talked to her about it and she denies doing so. Therefore I dropped it. But now my birthday is coming up and I don't know what to do. My friends and I will be taking a trip to NYC, and I really want to go. But I don't want to be acting the way she does around him. I'm planning to talk to her about it, but I'm hoping for some advice on the subject before doing so. Cause right now the only solution in my head is for to not go, but I want everyone to be there... ugh it's so frustrating. I've talked to my other friends and they don't know what I should do either but they're saying attitude towards is justified.

 

(Sorry about writing so much) But any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Be very careful how you throw peoples names, along with their personal business, out on the internet. Someone (either their friends or themselves) can always find your post and figure out who you are.

 

The question is, how did your boyfriend treat when everyone was together? Did he brush her off or was he acting civil? If one of them was acting civil, I would bring that person on the trip with me. You shouldn't have to put up with someone's lack of maturity OR drama for your birthday.

 

If was your friend, she wouldn't be disrespectful to the person you are dating. She sounds very immature by choosing not to be civil when out with the group. her behavior is based on her choices which will impact any group decision. If she couldn't be civil, I wouldn't invite her on a long trip either.

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If he is acting civil and continues to, then he is worth bringing along the trip. I realize that this is hard for you since your girlfriend has been your friend first and has introduced you to him. However, her behavior would be the only indicator why you shouldn't bring her on the trip.

 

My other suggestion is try talking to her first before inviting people on the trip to NYC. Tell her that you understand the family animosity between her and her cousin. However, it puts you in a very awkward and uncomfortable situation where you have to decide who you will bring along on your birthday trip based on her poor attitude and behavior displayed from the last group outing. She wasn't just doing that because of what he did- it was out of spite. Just tell her that you don't want to deal with her drama on your birthday, you would really like her to go with you, but you also want to bring your new boyfriend along as well.

 

Basically, give her the choice to decide whether she wants to go on the trip, with the condition of behaving like an adult, or that she will not go because she can't stand being around her cousin. That way, you don't look like the bad guy and are not doing things that either will see as betrayal. Give her the option that she has to own up for her past behavior by leaving the drama at home and go out on a fun trip.

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