My friends Boyfriend

[daisymae]

I'm sorry about the length but its a long story and please help me get through this

 

So i guess the best place to start is to give you a little background about the whole situation. Im in high school along with all my friends. I have plenty of friends don't get me wrong and i love them all so much, and i know its true friendship but then there are some of those friendships you have with people although you call them your best friend to their face you know deep down they really aren't. My friend Kate was one of those friends, i enjoyed her company very much but just enjoyed others company a little bit better.

 

She had, had a very serious 'thing' with a boy, jake. who was one of my very good friend. jake and i had been friend all high school and even at one point had a little crush on each over, but was only for a short amount of time. They were the talk of the group. where they officially dating? how far had they been? were some of the many questions our group gossiped about. I knew that they had only ever kissed and he had felt her breasts once. But after a while there 'thing' diminished and it was no more. she had told everyone and i mean everyone in the whole school that she didn't like him a anymore and he was very hurt. i comforted him, as any friend would do. he did like her a lot and it was upsetting for both of them to go through this.

 

As Jake and i talked a lot more, about the whole situation and even just about life we became closer and closer. One night we were chatting via an app called snap chat. an app where you communicate with photos which you write text over the top. we were snapping about boobs, nothing sexual, just joking around, when all of a sudden i don't know how it happened but i had sent him a picture of MY breasts! from then on we snapped all the time (nudes). for months. but while this was happening, Kate had begun to get feelings for Jake again, i had the opportunity to stop but i didn't. he was all i thought about, every day at school and every night while we sent pictures. everyday i got to see his face gave my butterflies. We were very secretive, none of our friends know… well thats what he thought i had told my two actual best friends Juliette and Alice all about it.

 

One night i was over at his and lets just say i had had a few drinks so i wasn't quite myself. we were in bed together playing video games when all of a sudden his hands when down my pants. i loved him so i went along with it. A few weeks later i was at his house again and this time we did oral both ways. I over him so much so i didn't think it was wrong at all. After that it all went wrong. i convinced my self that he was using me, mainly because he didn't want to tell anyone or not at least till all the stuff with kate had settled down. We had a massive fight and completely stopped talking. I was so upset, i missed his cheeky smilies in class or the secret bum grab at the science bench. His beautiful eyes looking into mine.

 

over the summer break i told kate all about it, i didn't want to keep it a secret anymore. she was so upset and mad at me. i tried my hardest to get over him and more on, but i just couldn't. he was all i thought about. One night i was with my friends when i started receiving all these calls from people saying kate was at a party crying because she was sooo upset. i wanted to make sure she was okay and i knew jake was at that party too so i gave him a call asking if she was okay. he then starts yelling and abusing me. calling me a dumb and all thing stuff. i was so so so so sad. i collapsed to the floor crying my eyes out. Over the summer holidays i saw pictures of him kissing girls, and well over the summer holiday he became popular, which made me even more mad. i did things to my body out of anger and sadness to try and get rid of the pain i was suffering from. but nothing worked.

 

So I've just got back from summer break, it was my first day. i came in with a new attitude, I'm not going to let him get to me… oh no here he comes, walking downs towards me, he had a new hair cut… it looks amazing. i can't do this seeing him makes me so mad.

 

so i guess i just need some guidance. because of this mistake i have made i had torn my group apart. half my friends hate me and the other half hate her. i tried to talk to her but she complete ignored me. But whats even worse is that Kate and Jake have now been talking again… why would she forgive him and not me. i don't frakly want to be here friend again but i just wish i could go back and change everything. please help we i have come to my last resort. I'm finding it hard to want to be here. i want to stop the thoughts about him but i can't. the reason i fell for him so much was because no one else wants me. please help me before i try to hurt myself again… i don't want to but i just can't stop thinking about him. he is so cruel to me, he never did or does care about my feelings. i can't keep going.

[Kendahke]

I'm sorry about the length but its a long story and please help me get through this

 

So i guess the best place to start is to give you a little background about the whole situation. Im in high school along with all my friends. I have plenty of friends don't get me wrong and i love them all so much, and i know its true friendship but then there are some of those friendships you have with people although you call them your best friend to their face you know deep down they really aren't. My friend Kate was one of those friends, i enjoyed her company very much but just enjoyed others company a little bit better.

 

In my day, that was called being "two faced". Word of advice #1: be consistent with people based upon how you feel/esteem them. Don't be a fake.

 

She had, had a very serious 'thing' with a boy, jake. who was one of my very good friend. jake and i had been friend all high school and even at one point had a little crush on each over, but was only for a short amount of time. They were the talk of the group. where they officially dating? how far had they been? were some of the many questions our group gossiped about. I knew that they had only ever kissed and he had felt her breasts once. But after a while there 'thing' diminished and it was no more. she had told everyone and i mean everyone in the whole school that she didn't like him a anymore and he was very hurt. i comforted him, as any friend would do. he did like her a lot and it was upsetting for both of them to go through this.

 

As Jake and i talked a lot more, about the whole situation and even just about life we became closer and closer. One night we were chatting via an app called snap chat. an app where you communicate with photos which you write text over the top. we were snapping about boobs, nothing sexual, just joking around, when all of a sudden i don't know how it happened but i had sent him a picture of MY breasts!

 

O_o Really? You don't know how you took off your shirt and bra, aimed your camera at your boobs and pressed the button and then sent it? C'mon....

 

from then on we snapped all the time (nudes). for months. but while this was happening, Kate had begun to get feelings for Jake again, i had the opportunity to stop but i didn't. he was all i thought about, every day at school and every night while we sent pictures. everyday i got to see his face gave my butterflies. We were very secretive, none of our friends know… well thats what he thought i had told my two actual best friends Juliette and Alice all about it.

 

word of advice #2: keep your friends out of your effery. The less people know about your business, the easier it is to keep things light and simple.

 

One night i was over at his and lets just say i had had a few drinks so i wasn't quite myself. we were in bed together playing video games when all of a sudden his hands when down my pants. i loved him so i went along with it. A few weeks later i was at his house again and this time we did oral both ways. I over him so much so i didn't think it was wrong at all. After that it all went wrong. i convinced my self that he was using me, mainly because he didn't want to tell anyone or not at least till all the stuff with kate had settled down. We had a massive fight and completely stopped talking. I was so upset, i missed his cheeky smilies in class or the secret bum grab at the science bench. His beautiful eyes looking into mine.

 

over the summer break i told kate all about it, i didn't want to keep it a secret anymore. she was so upset and mad at me. i tried my hardest to get over him and more on, but i just couldn't. he was all i thought about. One night i was with my friends when i started receiving all these calls from people saying kate was at a party crying because she was sooo upset. i wanted to make sure she was okay and i knew jake was at that party too so i gave him a call asking if she was okay. he then starts yelling and abusing me. calling me a dumb and all thing stuff. i was so so so so sad. i collapsed to the floor crying my eyes out. Over the summer holidays i saw pictures of him kissing girls, and well over the summer holiday he became popular, which made me even more mad. i did things to my body out of anger and sadness to try and get rid of the pain i was suffering from. but nothing worked.

 

So I've just got back from summer break, it was my first day. i came in with a new attitude, I'm not going to let him get to me… oh no here he comes, walking downs towards me, he had a new hair cut… it looks amazing. i can't do this seeing him makes me so mad.

 

so i guess i just need some guidance. because of this mistake i have made i had torn my group apart. half my friends hate me and the other half hate her. i tried to talk to her but she complete ignored me. But whats even worse is that Kate and Jake have now been talking again… why would she forgive him and not me. i don't frakly want to be here friend again but i just wish i could go back and change everything. please help we i have come to my last resort. I'm finding it hard to want to be here. i want to stop the thoughts about him but i can't. the reason i fell for him so much was because no one else wants me. please help me before i try to hurt myself again… i don't want to but i just can't stop thinking about him. he is so cruel to me, he never did or does care about my feelings. i can't keep going.

 

She forgave him because you truthfully weren't exactly her best friend--that's what you called her to her face, but behind her back you felt otherwise. She might not proceed with a fake as she would with someone who was genuine with her, know what I mean?

 

Now, if the Jake and Kate decided to break up and Kate broadcast that all over the school, then they were broken up and you didn't need her permission to start seeing your friend. He was free, you were free. End of story, so she needs to just get over that silliness.

 

Jake is angry because he asked you to keep your mouth shut about your involvment and you chose to do the opposite--he feels betrayed by you running you mouth to Juliette, Alice and Kate, so it stands to reason that he's angry at the person who put his business in the street. That would be you, dear.

 

I think he's in angry mode with you right now--it's all still fresh. However, if he never cared about your feelings, then there is no good reason to want to get back with someone who doesn't care about you. You need to look at what you put in motion that got you here. You concocted a tale in your head that Jake was using you when in fact, you were a willing participant in what you two were doing. The fact that he didn't want his business broadcast is non sequitur to the accusation of him using you. They have nothing to do with one another. The easiest way to not be used is to not put yourself in a position to be used. You went to his house, you climbed in bed with him, you let him put his hands down your pants, you participated in oral sex with him. You were not coerced. It only became an issue to you because he wanted you to wait until he'd sorted out the Kate mess, and because you didn't like her as a bff already, you decided that "this was the hill to die on".

 

I think you owe a lot of people an apology and to just go lay low for a while til this mess blows over---just as Jake asked you to do in the first place.