my boss hates me, how do I deal with this?

[TalkThatTalk9]

just need some advice on the situation I am in...

 

my boss hates me and is in a way bullying me and I really don't know how to deal with it.

 

I was hired in September to be assistant manager and I have been "training" for it since then. I have all the extra responsibility, but still get paid the same or less than everyone else. I have been busting my butt off to work hard and try and earn the raise I want. I not only have not gotten any sign of more money coming my way (I make 8.25 all I want is like, 9! lol) but I have noticed my hours drop and I am getting the bad shifts.

 

I am a very dedicated, hard working, follow the rules, get the job done type of person. I do whatever is asked of me and always answer "ok no problem" I believe work is a place where you are professional and do as asked.

 

At first I got along with my manager. we did well together and she was cool with me. around the holidays, things started to change.

 

we work in the food industry and we had busy holidays which led to my boss getting a bit cranky with people.

 

She has a tendency to snap orders at people, talk down to them, cusses at work, etc. she is a very outspoken person. and unprofessional.

 

The weeks leading up to christmas she got real bad to the point that someone else on my crew went to our store manager about her attitude and the way she was talking to people. nothing was said to her.

 

it hit boiling point christmas eve. I had come into work, after days of her attitude, and she snapped big time on me for doing my job ... what i was supposed to be doing at the time. I sat down what I was doing and said OK and walked away. she said to me "DONT YOU COP YOUR ATTITUDE WITH ME I WONT PUT UP WITH THAT SH**"

 

so I turned around and said "You do not need to snap at me when I am just trying to help"

 

biggest mistake of my life.

 

she threw a huge tantrum and the rest of the day was miserable. ever since that day, things have been bad and gone worse.

 

she ignores me at work. she jokes and laughs with everyone else, but when I say anything she just ignores me or says something sarcastic to me. she has started giving me the "bad shifts" that no one wants when before I was opening most the time. no matter what I say or do, it is wrong to her and she makes sure I know. I even helped a customer a few days ago because my boss was busy and she yelled at me for helping the customer in front of the customer.

 

I go out of my way to be polite and respectful but it gets me no where.

 

last week I was called into the office and our district manager was sitting there. my boss then laid into me how I have a attitude problem, I snap on people, and my anxiety issues are causing problems. I was beyond baffled. I didn't even know what to say. I get along so well with the entire crew, and they sometimes even make fun of me for how quiet and nice I can be. so this was like...... I just sat with my jaw dropped.

 

I had to sit there and listen to her tell lies about me while I just accepted it because i need the measly 22 hours at 8.25 an hour I can't lose anymore than I have.

 

my district manager made us agree to get along and think before speaking with each other so we don't have any more issues... because I pointed out that she has a tendency to snap at me as well.

 

ever since our meeting, it has gotten worse. she does not talk to me at all. she just has made it known she hates me. I said that to someone at work today, and they said "here is a hint. she thinks you don't like her" how can I like someone who treats me the way she does? it is very hard to small talk and act friendly to someone who treats me like a dog most the time. I Try, but most the time lately, I just keep to myself and do my job and get it done. when I Try to talk to her she just acts like she hates me.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. it would be one thing if i did something to deserve this treatment, I'd be the first to admit it. I swear. but i didn't. I am a good worker, honest, dedicated and always respectful to my peers. I just lost it the one time, and I didn't even do anything bad I stuck up for myself. and said what was wrong the best way I knew how in the moment.

 

I get filled with so much anxiety when i see my boss, or have to work with her. it freezes me sometimes. I hate someone having this effect on me.

I wake up in the middle of the night if I have a shift with her the next day. I feel like puking when I work with her sometimes.

 

what do I do? how do I deal with my boss hating me?

 

she hated one of the other girls, and made her life so miserable and only gave her 12 hours until she quit.

 

I need this job so bad, sadly, I can't just quit. I am looking so hard for a new job. it is not soon enough for me though.

 

I know I should go in and talk with her rationally but i just don't know if I can do that considering I have done nothing wrong to deserve this treatment. and she is not one to talk to.

 

I've tried killing her with kindness, does no good.

 

any tips or suggestions. I always try and make sure I have a polite and nice attitude when I go in so she has no reason to say anything. but then she snaps at me and my good mood just goes out the window. I don't show it, but it builds up inside.

 

I need some help. this is greatly effecting my mental health. I am getting depressed and anxious way too much over it.

[Lorem Ipsum]

Sadly, I think the only thing you can do is what you're doing -- look for a new job. She is beyond toxic at this point. If you can specifically request shifts for when she's not there, or transfer to a different crew that she is not a part of, those are the only short term solutions I can think of. One thing you might consider is that it's not about you. You need your job and I bet she does, too. You want a raise, and I bet she does, too. She may hate the job even more than you do. You just make a convenient scapegoat for her bad mood since you stood up to her once.

 

I don't know what place you work at, but some companies do a exit interview. If they do, go to it and be honest about why you're leaving (but I doubt they do it in that industry). Otherwise, the only thing I can recommend is that you get evidence of her abuse. If she's like this with everyone (save the shunning she gives you), then surely you're not the only employee who is unhappy with her management style. I don't know if they have cameras in there to monitor the employees (or just over the cash registers), but if they do, it would be handy to get some of her greatest hits on a DVD.

 

You might also try link removed

[Stay_home]

Your boss doesn't sound like a very good leader. Anyone can be a supervisor, but not everyone can be a leader. There's a difference. Is there another store perhaps you can transfer too or division where you don't have to work underneath her? If you're the assistant manager it could be that she's worried about losing her position to you. Especially if you've got more positive clout with the employees there then she does. Maybe she knows you've got the goods and that worries her that she could be replaced.

 

If it were me, I would really try my hardest to just ignore her and get on through my day. But if this is really effecting you so bad then you will need to leave sooner than later. Your overall health is more important than anything. No job or amount of money is worth you not being healthy. Keep sending those resumes out until something comes back. Then when you finally do land something and you're on the way out, I would request to meet with the district manager and explain what is really going on. In the meantime, document everything. If there's someone there who can anonymously attest to your issues with the manager, that may also be a good route. Although, usually many people are quick to say they'll help but out of fear of losing their jobs usually will decline to help.

[TalkThatTalk9]

I have started saving her rude text messages... I have a friend at work who is appalled by her actions, had gone to our store manager once, nothing was done. She is very opinionated, not afraid of confrontation if it's for a good reason and she absolutely sides with me..... My friend I was talking to, who has history with a boss like mine, asked if I had someone to back up my story, this girl would.

 

Today I had a great easy goin day with my crew we rocked it... We work in a grocery store where if there is a football game on tv we are swammped. My crew was so good today we were busy. Then j get a sarcastic rude text from my boss my mood just deflated. And this girl... She said as I left "text me I you need to talk" she knows what I am going through.

 

I have a good friend from high school.... She is a district manager for this grocery chain I work at just at other stores not mine. She knows me, my district manager, as well as my horrible boss. I know she would do anything to help me, so I am going to ask her what she feels I should do to resolve this. I know with her, the advice would be helpful. She knows 1) what the company policy is 2) how to deal wit each person In tho scenario and 3) what chances I have of surviving this ordeal.

[TalkThatTalk9]

Also the thought has crossed my mind she I threatened of me but.... I find it hard to believe.... I know I would make a better manager and the crew like me better but I also know my boss couldn't possibly think i am that good that I'd take over id be shocked if that was the case.

[dobbin]

i'm in the same position as you. i'm a logical/fair/objective and very honest person. from my experience, there is no way to win over these horrible bosses. your best option is to look elsewhere for another job. you cannot win them over with your hard work, long hours or dedication as they've already decided in their minds that they dont like you personally. these bosses tend to be subjective and enjoy abusing their power. you cannot win them over with kindness, they dont have a conscience and enjoy seeing people suffer and stress out because it makes them feel better about their "unhappiness in their lives". you cannot get the entire team to side with you because the horrible boss will go the extra length to lie and do what is necessary to bring the entire team down.

been through this recently and now i'm going through a similar situation again. time to find a role elsewhere.

 

life is too short, work someone awesome!

[memento]

You have to document everything, dates, times, what was said, etc. You then go over her head and report her to your district manager. You tried to killer her with kindness. Now is your time to take the offensive and get her in some type of trouble.

[GinNJuice]

You're not going to get her into any trouble. Look for a new job, and do not give notice when you quit. Just don't show up, as you won't be getting a managerial reference from her anyway.

[kompakt]

Sorry you have to quit, the situation is just too toxic.