Do you consider race when finding a lover?

[drahcir]

Is race ever a factor when you try to find a partner? Do you prefer people of your own race, or people of different races?

[Meow18]

I have always found myself being more attracted to people of my race, however I have been attracted to some people from a different race. I actually haven't dated someone from a different race and I wouldn't not date someone just because of their race. If I liked them or was attracted to them then I would give it a chance if they liked me too. It has nothing to do with race for me. It just has to do with who I am attracted to.

I actually have some good friends of a different race though.

[Switch187]

Race was never a factor for me when finding someone, it was actually the last thing I really cared about. If you narrow down by race, then you limit yourself of meeting someone who could potentially be a great friend, just because of race. For the most part though, people that I know who do care about race, usually only want to date someone in their race, or know that they don't want to date a certain race (I have one friend who is white and doesn't want to date any latin chick, just because of past experiences).

[mrsmarvl]

Race shouldnt be an issue at all. When we are cut open we all bleed red, no matter what. Its whats on the inside not the outside.

[tiger_lilies]

Race is never a factor for me. That would be just plain racist!

[chanceit]

Never really though about it but most of people where i live are all the same race....

[maasikus]

My husband is not the same race as mine...but that doesnt change anything...we r as compatible and in ease with each other as any normal same raced couple are...

[lillady898]

I've been "with" guys who were a different race than me. They're like any other guy from my own race. Some of them are attractive, some are not.

[confused chicky]

Race is not a factor for me. We are all humans and all the same when it comes to having feelings,.....

[thatguy04]

Race? Wow, I never thought about that, I just saw a girl as she was, the great person she is. I sometimes forget entirely about race (which sometimes also just makes me look stupid also). And as tiger_lilies put it ever so nicely, that would just be racist if you judged by race.

[ksk0_0]

I don't think anyone should care about what race the other person is. I mean.. for example - I'm Korea and my gf is Canada. Like the previous people said, race doesn't matter and it's the last thing that anyone would ever think about (unless if some people cared about race)

[iceesnowbubble]

haha..canadian isn't a race..but i get what you are saying. We are all the same color when you turn out the lights so to speak, and i don't think it matters. My ex boyfriend was asian and I am white, and although we got grief from others we were more compatable than anything. Race doesn't matter unless your family has something against it or religion comes into play.

[atigdng]

Yah I am a white american and my gf is asian (chinese) so I don't got any problem with "race"

[Jimbo10]

I dont think it's racist to have a racial preference when it comes to a lover, as long as you keep an open mind. I prefer my own race, but women with Aussi or British accents are just sexy

[ShySoul]

Race shouldn't matter. I look for someone who I share a special bond with, someone's whose personality fits with mines. What's important is how well the people get along and how much they care about each other. And, as I've always said: we're all part of the same race, the only race that really matters, the human race.

[tea]

=X okay... @_@; don't kill me... but I think race matters.

 

Well, not "race" I guess, but culture matters a lot to me. I can't date anyone Japanese and I won't date anyone Taiwanese. -_-;;; Taiwanese are probably the only people I'm extremely prejudice against and I just don't like them. Then... Japanese... until their government make an official apology to the Chinese I'm not allowed to date them... nor are my children... =/ that's just the way it is, and their government's not about to make an official apology anytime soon for the Nanking Massacre. It's like asking US to officially apologize for the My Lai Massacre, it's just not going to happen.

 

Why won't I date Taiwanese? >>;; their culture promotes big families and a lot of times they don't treat girls well... girls married into a taiwanese family are basically expected to "serve" their mothers, family, etc, etc, etc, do their laundry, cook, clean, go to work, and never ever complain about anything to anyone. I don't think that life style's for me.... and if any girl wants to be a slave, go ahead, but it wont' be me. =/ ... plus... @_@;;; a lot of their guys are super egotistical and selfish... and they think they have a right to tell their girlfriends what to wear and what not to wear. I know not all of them are like that, but enough of them are like that that I won't ever consider dating one.

 

Other than Japanese and Taiwanese I can pretty much date anyone. I'll have a bit of trouble dating someone black, from latin america or south east asia though... not that I mind, but my mother's still very racist and... >_>;; I can't date anyone she doesn't approve of. Even my bf who generally wants to pretend he's Mexican or Latino instead of spaniard didn't dare say he's mexican when he visited, and he just loves thinking he's mexican even though he's not. =/ (he says there are more mexican culture in california than spanish culture, so they're really more familiar with the mexican culture than the spanish culture so he's mexican. @_@; no, I don't get his logic either.)

[ShySoul]

Tea,

 

Not to be mean or anything, but don't you think that's a little harsh. Your judging an entire race just because of the actions of a few people. Individual Japanese people had nothing to do with governments decisions. Its not fair to criticzie all Japanese like that. The same with Taiwanese. You don't have to approve of there culture but you should recognize that not everyone is like that. What if you found a Taiwanese guy who wanted a small family, was completely humble, and treated girls like princesses? If the two of you got along well, would you refuse to go out with him just because of his ancestors, something he had no control over?

 

It sounds like you are tring to please your mother and have gotten certain ideas from her. Perhaps you should think about things more closely. You really can't judge such a large group of people based on generalizations. Each person is an individual and should be viewed as such.

[tea]

As of japanese? I'd hang out with them.. my best friend's japanese, but NO, I will NEVER marry them. ... sorry, but my family remembers history and we don't forgive people that easily. They're not responsible for their past government's actions, but as a whole they were to blame. You knew nothing of what Chinese went through thanks to the Japanese so you have no right to comment on this issue. It's as if you're asking a jewish person to have no hard feelings with a german. It just doesn't happen all that often unless if you're one to forget history. Before my grandmother died she spent 2 hours telling me stories of how the Japanese government and the Chinese Communist government killed her family and her husband's family. She wanted me to remember those stories and pass them on to my children as well... along with that I gave her my promise that I will NEVER marry anyone from mainland china nor will i EVER marry anyone Japanese. That's just the way it is.

 

 

Taiwanese? Heh. I came from there so don't lecture me about who they are and what they do. Most of them WANT large families and support the government I can't wait to burn... ever since I can remember they told me I'm not part of them and I should go back to main land china because that's where my family came from. I don't belong, they don't want me there. ... until when they need votes to support their stupid government, then all of a sudden I'm considered taiwanese again! "You're born here! You're taiwanese!" Well, excuse me if I don't buy that crap.

 

It just so happens that in Taiwan, as of now, most taiwanese are less educated than the so called "chinese from taiwan." It's definitely not their fault that they're less educated... the more educated ones I can stand but I would never marry... at least most of them don't slave their wives and be egotistical arrogant jerks. Sorry, the majority are less educated and are a lot of times proud of supporting their stupid government that hasn't done anything right... AND they're proud of "I'm all taiwanese and I have never been to another country before!" You know why they elected the current president? EVERYONE knew he sucked and he can't govern to save his life, but they elected him anways because he's NOT CHINESE FROM TAIWAN. As sad as that sounds, that's really the case. They didn't elect him because he had a good record as a president, they didn't elect him because they thought he was exceptionally smart, they didn't elect him because he had a good foreign policy. They elected him because he was Taiwanese. and just as they try to push us out they ask me to join them? Heh, screw them with "you're born in taiwan so you're taiwanese." I don't want anything to do with them at all.

 

Then they hold on to their traditional ways and expect their wives to never go home but divote their wives' whole lives to "the husband's family."

 

There were honestly A LOT OF MEN complaining "My wife goes to her parents' home once a week! What is she going there for? Why can't she just stay home? Is she there to tell on me? I dont' think she has the right to go home!"

 

and can you even imagine pregnant women asking online, "Am I allowed to go back to my parents' home during pregnancy? I don't really want to stay here because my mother in law's definitely not going to treat me well and she wouldn't let me rest even though I feel really sick. Do you think I'm allowed to go home? Is that a good idea?"

 

... Why would anyone seek approval to go home whlie waiting to give birth? shouldn't they be able to go wherever they want to go?

 

There are also husbands who complain their wives give money to thei wives' parents monthly when they should be giving all of their money to the husband or the husband's family. Since when did marriage mean seperation from original family? It's like that stupid wedding ceremony can buy off your wive completely with no ties left.

 

Or there are wives who end up washing clothes for 8 people, worrying that they don't know how to cook, and just can't wait to pleast their mother in laws in EVERY SINGLE WAY.

 

If they are wives instead of maids, how come they're washing clothes and doing house work when everyone else sit their fat arse on the couch and watch TV? If they're not slaves how come often siblings of their husbands order them around and boss them around?

 

Maybe A FEW are different, but sorry, I'm not gambling with my life and when it's 90% chance of a unhappy marriage, I'm not risking it.

 

... not to mention if I marry into one of those families my mother in law will want to kill herself because I'm going to make her life so miserable she might as well kill herself.

 

... you obviously know nothing about the Taiwanese culture, so you're not one to judge my decisions.

[ShySoul]

Sorry if I offended you. True, I don't know much about the Taiwanese culture. And there are a lot of backwards cultures in this world who do things I don't approve of at all. I can get how you are feeling and don't fault you for being upset. I just think that often times people hold onto resentments and grudges for so long that it only prevents the process of healing and making peace. How can we every get to a truly peaceful world if people aren't willing to work through there problems? And its not fair to those few who are different to be looked down at just because of the views of others in their race. I've been judged unfaily just based off things like age or race, it doesn't make you feel could to be judged without the person every trying to get to know you. I don't mean to be judging you or criticizing you, I just wanted to point out a different point of view and give you something to think about.

[tea]

Thank you but I thought about that LONG LONG ago.

 

Sometimes it's important for us to remember national shames and cultural shames. When it's something that big, you are not supposed to just let it go.

[oh yeah]

ive found myself more attracted to perosnality rather than race although i am a caucasian girl and ive never found myslef the most attracte to other white guys.. i prefer like italian.. but i dont really judge until i know the person

[lillady898]

It's as if you're asking a jewish person to have no hard feelings with a german.

 

My grandmother is of jewish decent and my grandfather was straight from Germany.