Is being the ugly friend worse than having no friends?

[GaaraKitten]

I'm really ugly and if i were to make friends I'd inevitably be the ugly friend.. the thought of having no friends until after plastic surgery makes me cry but the thought of being the ugly friend also makes me cry...

[Moontiger]

How old are you sweetie?

 

You CAN make friends right now. What we see in magazines and all those other images, its not real. Google "magazine photoshop before and after" and you will see what I mean.

 

I would look into taking with a therapist. There is a chance you could have body dysmorphic disorder (in very simple terms people with this see something VASTLY different in the mirror than what they really look like).

 

Could you talk a little about what you don't like about yourself?

[guynextdoor]

May I ask why are you so hard on yourself? Friendship is not based on looks, its based on common interests, goals, etc. Looks don't matter when you find that bonding whether its in friendship or relationship for most mature people.

[GaaraKitten]

May I ask why are you so hard on yourself? Friendship is not based on looks, its based on common interests, goals, etc. Looks don't matter when you find that bonding whether its in friendship or relationship for most mature people.

 

I am actually ugly, and it's not in my head. I hear it a lot in public.. and people say things like "I bet she has a sparkling personality" Idk.. i don't like thinking about being friends with pretty girls and watching them get hit on in public and stuff like that

[GaaraKitten]

How old are you sweetie?

 

You CAN make friends right now. What we see in magazines and all those other images, its not real. Google "magazine photoshop before and after" and you will see what I mean.

 

I would look into taking with a therapist. There is a chance you could have body dysmorphic disorder (in very simple terms people with this see something VASTLY different in the mirror than what they really look like).

 

Could you talk a little about what you don't like about yourself?

 

I probably could, but I'd prefer not to. I don't like the thought of being the ugly friend, and no I don't have BDD I've heard people shudder at me when I walk by.. and people say things like "she's f**king ugly"

 

I know the girls in magazines are plastered with makeup and airbrushed but even without makeup most celebrities/models look average to above average, not actually ugly like me.

 

I hate my whole face, I look like a man.. and the worst part is im not fat so losing weight won't help .

I'm 17

[Moontiger]

I am actually ugly, and it's not in my head. I hear it a lot in public.. and people say things like "I bet she has a sparkling personality" Idk.. i don't like thinking about being friends with pretty girls and watching them get hit on in public and stuff like that

 

How do you know people are saying that because they think your not good looking? Seems to me they could be saying that for many reason (like you present yourself in away that would indicate you have a nice personality)

 

I think you are being way to hard on yourself.

[GaaraKitten]

How do you know people are saying that because they think your not good looking? Seems to me they could be saying that for many reason (like you present yourself in away that would indicate you have a nice personality)

 

I think you are being way to hard on yourself.

 

Well, I've had people chuckle in my face randomly at the street, I've heard people say "she's f**king ugly", there are girls at the gym I go to for fitness class who laugh at me and say things like "I'm guessing she's single....", I went to this other gym and I went to sit down so I could have a girl get me my membership and I look back and she had her mouth hanging open wide and her eyes wide open, her face was contorted in disgust and she was whispering something I couldn't make out, I've had it where guys go to sit by me on the bus, get a quick look at my face then scurry to another seat.. yeah I could go on..

[zentoCC]

I don't mean to sound harsh but are you sure you're not imagining it? I've seen people glance at me and laugh before, turns out they were laughing at a joke their friend told or it was something behind me.

 

I'm sure your not ugly you just lack confidence, confidence can go a long way in making you look and feel better.

[Batya33]

The people who are behaving that way are the ugly ones. Have you experimented with different hair styles or different makeup to bring out your best features? Not heavy makeup - just different approaches. Are you comfortable going to a department store makeup counter and asking for pointers?