These nightmares

[Dgirllamius]

OK I'm getting horrible nightmares about my ex but it's not ones where you're asleep. I was awake but had my eyes shut and I could picture it all in full colour. It was a weird nightmare but still a very painful one.

 

My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. As far as I am concerned, I hate him and I want him dead. I want this because he ran up a £721 phone bill which I am liable for and I have no way of getting out of it unless I make him confess which is hard work.

 

Why the hell am I getting these nightmares? They're hard to describe and they guy who is my ex in my nightmares doesn't even look like him!

 

I wake up and it's still fresh in my mind and I can't think of anything else. I need someone who I can talk to but no one seems to care

[Mentor]

Hi,

 

Have you been getting these nightmares ever since you broke up, or have they just started recently? What you describe sounds odd, but I think I know what you mean. I may have had similar experiences. Were you together long? Can you provide any other detail about the relationship/break-up?

 

It is tough when you have no-one to turn to for support. This forum is a great place, you have taken a positive step by posting here! If you are really isolated and these nightmares continue you might want to consider councelling if you have the means (through the health service at school/work, etc.)

 

Take care of yourself.

[Dgirllamius]

I've been having them since we broke up really. I don't even know the full story behind why we broke up. He broke up with me and I don't even know why. He didn't tell me so I've sort of been left in a lurch. It's all because I wanted a few days away from him because when we were together, we were living out of each others pockets. We were together nine months and it's coming up to the day we got together (17th December).

 

I've been getting these nightmares on and off since we split and it's killing me. All I want to do is cry. I don't miss him. I don't love him anymore and I don't want to ever see him again so why am I getting these nightmares? I hate him so much that I want him dead but I can't understand why I'm dreaming like this

[Breea]

It sounds like you are hurt deeply over how he has done you (sticking you with a big bill and breaking up for no clear reason). Do you think that maybe being hurt so deeply has caused you to obsess over the situation? Maybe you are looking for a reason as to why? ...some resolution? I can certainly see why you are so angry. I wish you the best resolving your feelings.

[Mentor]

I've been having them since we broke up really. I don't even know the full story behind why we broke up. He broke up with me and I don't even know why. He didn't tell me so I've sort of been left in a lurch.(

 

Hello again

 

You did not get any closure. There are loose ends dangling, questions unanswered, feelings unexpressed, finances unresolved. This always makes moving on harder.

 

I suspect that this has a lot to do with your anger/nightmares. I am not an expert, so I can not advise you on how to deal with these feelings, but I do think that you need some sort of closure before you can have another truly healthy romantic relationship. Would it be possible to contact him to try to talk about these things? If not, I again recommend some sort of therapy to help you get over this.

[Strandysmommy]

Those nightmares or dreams when you're not quite awake but not totally asleep can be pretty weird, I know. But here's the thing, if he ran up this phone bill...he needs to pay it. I mean talk to him, try to anyways...that's the logical first step. If he doesn't respond to that: i.e. ignoring you, refusing to pay it or whatever. Then maybe some sort of legal action is to be considered.

 

Whatever you do, make certain you're calm and level headed. If you approach him in an accusing matter, or all hyped up, he's going to be defensive. Try to calm down, especially if you hate him so much that you want him dead! I'm not sure that helped any, but hey.

[ebola316]

I don't think I've slept long enough since he left to have any dreams, good or bad. But when I'm trying to sleep, I get these weird feelings in my chest or stomach, and it keeps me awake. I don't know if it's physical or mental. It doesn' t happen when I'm awake. It bothers the heck out of me.

[Dgirllamius]

Would it be possible to contact him to try to talk about these things? If not, I again recommend some sort of therapy to help you get over this.

 

No way am I going to speak to him ever again about our relationship. He's done something to me that makes me hate him so much and I don't ever want to speak to him again. I'd rather be left wondering why than talk to him to be honest.

 

It's just weird how I couldn't break myself from the dream because I wasn't really asleep. It was as if I wanted to dream it if you know what I mean, but I didn't. I could feel the expression on my face and it felt like I was screwing up my face in disgust. It was such a horrible nightmare and I'm still getting them.

 

I just want it all to end