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Hope for those who want it....


Forever1809

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Basically while I'm on here heartbroken about my current ex I forgot the fact that my ex before that did indeed come back. All be it after I'd decided he was well and truly not what I wanted in a partner. So yes it does happen. After they've have time without you trying to convince them that they want too and after they've had time to see you be you. Not the upset desperate mess you are after a breakup!!

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funny how that works. As many have posted here, it seems to like clockwork be when the dumpee is officially over his/her ex. The dumper has some kind of alarm that goes off and the they contact dumpee again.

 

so ridiculous. Anyhow, it's best not to have hope as you wont be making any effort to move forward.

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It works like that after a while. Seen it a few times. The problem is working out the motive for them coming back. If it's because he or she is genuinely remorseful & truly loves you and you feel the same way then great... Anything else is a waste of time and energy...

 

I agree, and both parties must honestly sit down and work towards change...just coming back and saying sorry is not good enough. What about the time spent apart what was done during that time, was it a time of intraspection, of healing, working on self, or investigating the other side of the fence? Sadly, I have come to realize that I enabled my dumper hubby by begging him to not give up on us, that because of my low self-esteem I allowed him to treat me badly and now I'm trying to lovingly help my sons to break some bad behaviors that they saw modeled in our marriage. I've had to be honest with them and tell them that I didn't love myself or them enough to stand up for myself, that I didn't realize how they have been effected by all this. I think I want my husband back, but truth is I want my fantasy husband not the real McCoy....not unless there is a complete 180 on both our parts...I need to learn to love me again, I did before I was married, I NEED to again. Until I'm there, I will fall back into the same cycle as most of us do.... TENSION, CONFLICT, HONEYMOON PHASE.... Please know that until we can love ourselves and set healthy boundries, this will continue to be a pattern for us and they or the next ones will continue to walk all over us.

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