Am I crazy for feeling guilty?

[Misaki27]

Hello! I just attended a party with my colleagues. There were many people there, including a guy who I keep seeing at work, but never talked to much...in the few instances we've talked, he contradicted me on some issues. I was right, however and some other colleagues told him he was wrong. It's fine by me, I didn't really care about him much.

 

Until last night that is. He was in attendance at this party and of course, we ignored each other for the most part. When I was closing to leaving, he came and sat next to me and my friend and we made small talk. He only talked to me, never looked at my friend. After we talked, my friend said we should go, so I stood up to leave. Many of our friends were there and even more came to kiss us goodnight.

 

I started kissing and hugging everybody and we exchanged the last pleasantries and my friend also kissed this guy...he tried to hug her, but she refused. I finished hugging and kissing everyone, except him. My friend had already finished with everyone and all that was left was me kissing this guy. I felt uncomfortable, looked him in the eyes and said "goodbye". He said the same and we left.

 

My issue is that I'm feeling rather guilty...I mean, all our friends were there and he was the only one I didn't kiss. I don't know why I felt weird around him; maybe it's because we don't talk too much and he feels like a stranger to me. Also, I see him everyday at work (that means tomorrow as well).

 

Am I wrong in feeling guilty?

[mhowe]

For what? You don't really know him, so why would you kiss him goodbye?

[Misaki27]

For what? You don't really know him, so why would you kiss him goodbye?

 

Well, my friend also doesn't know him too well, but she still did...

[mhowe]

Again, so what? You are you and she is she...you are responsible for your own actions. If she.wants to kiss a virtual stranger, it should not have any bearing on your actions.

[ThatwasThen]

Do you like this boy, misaski? Is that why you're feeling what you call "guilty?" Is the 'guilt' actually regret you're experiencing?

[Misaki27]

Do you like this boy, misaski? Is that why you're feeling what you call "guilty?" Is the 'guilt' actually regret you're experiencing?

 

I don't know if I like him...I mean...I feel awkward around him, but we don't really interact.

 

Maybe it's the beginning of a crush or something similar. But it's weird, because I know he wanted me to kiss him as well...he was staring at me and I felt weird and just said "bye". Do you think he dislikes me now?

[mhowe]

Dislikes you for not kissing him...you barely know him!

[Misaki27]

It would have been just a kiss on the cheek...

[mhowe]

I think you are making a huge deal out of a minor thing.

You said goodbye...that is all that was necessary and or appropriate.

[ThatwasThen]

I don't know if I like him...I mean...I feel awkward around him, but we don't really interact.

 

Maybe it's the beginning of a crush or something similar. But it's weird, because I know he wanted me to kiss him as well...he was staring at me and I felt weird and just said "bye". Do you think he dislikes me now?

 

No, I just think he's probably wondering about you as much as you are wondering about him. (who knows for sure though, except him). We tend to lose our confidence when whe think that we have something to lose? You didn't kiss him (I suspect in a platonic goodbye way) because you lost your confidence thinking you had something to lose and you became shy around him.

 

Don't feel guilty, or regretful. Just contemplate exactly it is you want or don't want with this guy and then act accordingly. If you want to get to know him better, then make yourself open to being approached by him (rather then afraid or closed off because you're afraid of losing something), say hello to him and chat to him as if you have nothing to lose. "He who cares less in the relationship holds all the power."

 

Good luck, but don't feel "guilty" for not bidding him goodbye with a hug and a kiss, just work on and fix why you feel regretful that you didn't just do it.