Is it natural to feel like they are the best?

[mike7788]

Is it a natural thing to feel like your ex is just the most beautiful intelligent person in the world after things end? That you're doomed not to find anyone better?

[pippy longstocking]

Is it a natural thing to feel like your ex is just the most beautiful intelligent person in the world after things end? That you're doomed not to find anyone better?

 

yes .........

[Diggums70]

Yup, I was just sitting here thinking that exact thing.

 

I'm gonna venture a guess here that both you and I have much, much better in store for us in the future, so let's accept that the pedestal we've got our exes on is completely fabricated in our minds.

 

 

[lady00]

Very normal. Not true (objectively you can't know that because you haven't met everyone in the world) but yeah, totally normal.

[lady00]

Also, it's normal to idealize someone at first because you're too close to the situation to see all of the issues in the relationship for what they were (I don't know your situation but I assume there were issues in the relationship that led to the breakup).

[skyhop333]

Yep it's natural. I know exactly how you feel too.

[MsMovingOn]

Yes, it is normal.. but it's not factual true so just try to counter your thoughts and stay positive that you'll meet someone more better

[Newbuck80]

I'm guilty of this kind of thinking. Since the break I've definitely had a tendency to idealize her. I'm working on that, she's a human like all of us, with character flaws etc. I know in time someone better for me will come along

[ItRainsItPours]

Definitely just your perception, I'm sure she's flawed just like everyone else. More over I'm sure theres someone better for you out there. Someone who could not tolerate being your ex.

 

Cheers

[DancingFool]

The perfect person won't dump you.

[leo9]

Yes I believe this is natural and happens a lot.

 

I got broken up with less than 3 weeks ago, and soon found out after that she lied to me about several things. Even with that, I still idealize her good points and everything good in our relationship. It is very hard to focus on the negatives, even though she has plenty, and has issues just like everyone else.

[Lambert]

Yes... I think we remember the good things and rationalize the longing until we get over it. I have felt that way about every ex and with time I changed my mind on each one. I love my current Ex's personality. We had so much fun together. So now that I've been out playing the field, meeting new guys, I miss his great personality.... But he dumped me for his ex, so personality aside, he's an ass. And that's what I just keep telling myself.

[Hazyillusions]

I used to think like that with my first love. He treated me cruelly BUT because I loved him I idealised him so much it took me nearly a year and a half to knock him off my pedestal. HOWEVER I have changed. Right now, I know I might not find somebody just like my latest ex (whom I really love), but I'm sure I'll find somebody who possesses even more positive qualities so I'm not phased.

 

Trust that things will work out. You will always find somebody better in lots of ways-that's what I've found with experience. Every new bf I've had was closer to my ideal. It's all a mindset thing, once you have it right...Anything can happen.

[shes2smart]

Ever hear the saying, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know?"

 

Humans typically fear change. We don't trust it, we don't like it, and we will try to avoid it for something familiar. After a break up, the future is a big, blank canvas...and the unknown can be frightening. Frightening enough that a non-working relationship that you were familiar with can seem like a better alternative.

 

It's not better....it's just "known." (If it was really better, there wouldn't be a break-up.)

 

Give it 6 months or a year. If you're like most folks and let time do what it does, you'll look back and wonder why you wanted to hang on. (Or, if you're me, you'll wonder what you ever saw in that person in the first place.)

[alohalove18]

The perfect person won't dump you.

 

Amen sista. That's my logic behind it all.