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He said he isn't romantically interested but wants to be friends...


A10n3

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I met a guy online. We seemed to hit it off during the messages and had a great time together the first time we met. We had so much fun we saw eachother 3 days in a row, each time for a bit longer. We kissed, and he seemed totally interested in me. Told me he wanted to do it again. Well, something happened and he decided he isn't interested in dating me. The way he described it, he just doesn't have that 'spark' he isn't romantically interested in me.

 

He told me I am incredibly cool, and he is having fun hanging out with me. But he feels like we are hanging out as friends. So he wants to be friends. I am all over being his friend, he is really nice to hang out with. But I can't help the fact that I am romantically interested in him. I can separate the emotions out and be his friend though.

 

Every excuse he gave me, like we don't have enough in common, is false. We have a lot in common. He said a few things about me he considered turn off's, but I pointed out how they aren't true, it was just first date jitters type stuff. But he kept insisting it was me compromising and changing to be with him. That's not true. It is who I am. I want to show him, this is who I am, we do have a lot in common.

 

As I said. I am very interested romantically. I don't want to be just friends... What can I do to get him to change his mind? Am I doomed to the friend zone or can I change that????

 

We had planned to go on a hike tomorrow before he friend-zoned me, so we are still going on that hike as friends. Then, as friends he invited me to go out with him and his friends tomorrow night. He said perhaps I will be interested in one of his single friends. While I am open to meeting his single friends. I am still into him, so I know how that will go.

 

He said I am really cool, and he has a lot of fun with me... How do I get out of this friend zone, and convince him to give me a chance?

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He's not feeling the chemistry, no matter how much you have in common.

 

Don't try to reason with him- either he's feeling it or not- and he has been very clear he is not.

 

I'm not sure I would go out with him and his friends- you may seem a bit desperate, if you are clearly carrying a torch for him.

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It doesn't sound like you can separate your emotions. Staying friends will likely just frustrate you. believe him.

 

"Every excuse he gave me, like we don't have enough in common, is false. We have a lot in common. He said a few things about me he considered turn off's, but I pointed out how they aren't true, it was just first date jitters type stuff. But he kept insisting it was me compromising and changing to be with him. That's not true. It is who I am. I want to show him, this is who I am, we do have a lot in common."

 

Accept it. He is not interested in you. Period. Sorry.

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This sounds like this is heading down a path to "hurt".

 

Personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I am romantically interested in. Why? You will just torture yourself with questions and it will erode your self-esteem. You also won't be likely to give others a fair chance while you are hung up on Mr. Unavailable.

 

For whatever reason, you aren't his type. It may be because of the things that he articulated... but it may also be "other" things and he just doesn't want to insult you or hurt your feelings by saying things that don't need to be said. Maybe he doesn't like your look or your laugh or your views on things... these are all not things that are easy to say (nor should they be said - you may be perfect for someone else).

 

I'd let this one go and concentrate on finding someone who DOES want to be with you.

 

Everyone isn't compatible with everyone. Compatibility is a two-way street. It doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you... it just means you aren't a match.

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Every excuse he gave me, like we don't have enough in common, is false. We have a lot in common. He said a few things about me he considered turn off's, but I pointed out how they aren't true, it was just first date jitters type stuff.

 

I think he was just trying to tell you that he wasn't interested, the details of his explanations aren't really whats important, and it seems as though you weren't listening. This is actually the first time i've read about a female being friend zoned, i actually didn't even knew that stuff like that happened if i didn't read this thread.

 

IT's much different when i read it from the opposite gender perspective, like somehow i can sympathize with a man's point of view but it's like i can't sympathize with a female when it happens to her. Geez, this makes me feel weird.

 

I think, that you should not hang out with this guy anymore as friends, you went out with the hopes of dating and things turned sour, you could continue to be friends as long as you realize that a relationship is probably not going to work out. This happens to men a lot too, more then you would believe and it's happened to me plenty of times more then i care to remember.

 

Instead of investing more time and energy for this man, set your sights somewhere else to someone else who is more deserving.

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You have the attitude of "No, you are wrong" when he is telling you he isn't interested and I think your intention of being friends with him has an ulterior motive. You are just going to be attempting to prove that he does want you, which is something you can't do. It will come off as desperate and off-putting and he will soon stop wanting you to hang out with him. You want one thing, he wants another. It's not meant to be.

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