Comin up on two weeks

[idontunderstan]

It will be two weeks since the break up

 

I have good moments where Im feeling hopeful but they don't last as long as id like them to.

 

I just keep finding myself thinking of all these things we did together that we wont do anymore. Skiing, hiking, going on drives, watching TV shows(some were my favorite and now i can't even watch anymore) just being around her and her family. I got really close with them and it feels like I lost her and every single one of them, which I mean I did. Last year at this time up until summer of this year was a really great time and I have some really amazing memories from them and it just feels like this year isn't going to compare.

Im dreading the snow fall which is absolutely going to happen very very soon, probably in a few days. I'm dreading the dark days and nights. I'm really not looking forward to the holidays which I normal do. Last new years eve was the best of my life and im just so sad I cant have another like it.

 

 

I'm trying to just look forward and think of the new things and memories ill be making in the future but that's really hard for me. Everything, even the smallest little things remind me of her. I wonder what she's up to. How she's doing.

 

Yesterday in class she was talking to our mutual friend and I about career choices she's been thinking of and I just felt really happy for her. I was glad she was looking into things cause I know she's been struggling with that for a while. I still care about her, I want to be happy, I want her to be happy. And I want us to be able to share with eachother what's going on in our lives.

 

Right now I've just been trying to distract myself and not let myself think of things when it starts to happen but it's been really difficult. Lately I've been getting really depressed when I just sit at home so ive been going to a local coffee shop and sitting and reading or drawing or writing. But it is starting to feel kind of stale. I've been going on drives just to get my self feeling like Im moving and doing something but it costs money on gas and it only makes me feel better for a little bit

 

I dont know what else I can do to distract myself, I have hobbies that I like to do at home but im just having a hard time staying in one place for a long period of time. I start feeling trapped and start to panic.

[SooSad33]

Yes, I have much the same as you do... thinking of missing them when b-days come up, knowing you can't spend that special day with them Sure does hurt!

 

I'm also dwelling over times we dont spend together anymore. That is very difficult because we're so used to having them in our lives.. to suddenly- nothing? sigh

 

Im more a home body when I can be. trying to focus a bit on differentprojects or cleaning up, baking etc. But you're right.. it only lasts so long and even then.. we're thinking of what we dont have anymore.

 

Yes, I understand your loss. I've lost one too. It is VERY hard to accept & let go.. I Know.

 

One day at a time..

[idontunderstan]

Soosad, message me any time if you need to vent or need any advice

 

I usually check back here a few times a day.

It's nice to have someone who is experiencing the same thing to talk to

 

Some people on here who aren't currently goin through a break up I think maybe aren't able to remember how sensitive a time this

 

Anyway, maybe we could help eachother out when the oter is down

 

One day at a time, for sure