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Hey there. It’s my first time posting here, but I need to get it off my chest at the moment. Sorry if it’s a bit messy, I’m a bit writing like it comes up to me.


First a a bit of background. I’m a guy in my mid twenties, and so is my girlfriend. We are now together for almost 18 months, and it’s both our first relationship. We met via internet, and skyped a lot together. And when I mean a lot, it was like staying all day long on skype together. She lives a big hour from my place, but as I study, I move away to more than five hours travel. In the beginning we met one weekend each month, and when I had some holydays, I would spend almost all the time with her. Especially this summer, where we had some great time together.


But now recently I started my internship, and so the skyping has diminished a lot. She also was recently sick because of stress (happened a month ago I think), so since then she tries to stay calm. By doing this she creates like a wall to everything. Now, she maybe seems a bit better.

My problem now is that I would like to talk more to her. At work, when I have a little break, I try to send her some words on Skype. In the past she used to like that I would call her via mobile when I had a bit time. But she said I don’t need to do this anymore. And now, when I have some time in the evening for her, she often just stay absent, answering by “uhu” and “yeah” without even noticing what I said, while playing DS or chatting on skype with someone else. And this hurts me quite a bit. I would love to have some conversation like we did before, just talking all the time together. Or that at least she shows a bit more interest in me. At some moments, I would like to shout so that she just let her DS down for a moment, but I don’t, cause I don’t want to hurt her. So instead, I just wait till she has some time and let it all in. She also takes more time for her, like disconnecting at random moments, or when I try to have a more serious talk.


Does someone have the same experiences, or know what I should do? Because it sometimes get met really down. I keep thinking about this, and about her. I mean, I’m definitely in love, till the point where I would like to move in together and even propose in the future, but this problem for the moment really bugs me.


I hope I was clear enough, and that I don’t pass for a complete idiot or so. Thanks for the people who read this. If you need more information, I will gladly provide it.

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Hi Eira,


long distance relationships are VERY difficult to maintain, keeping that love and bond alive. In order to manage it you need to have an end date to the long distance and lots of communication.


Here is a site that can help you.


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Sorry you are in this situation but it sounds like there isn’t enough communication in the relationship. Here is my relationship advice, try to communicate to her that you need for her to be committed to the relationship if she wants to continue—set a strong tone with her…Even if you have to write this in a letter or email –sometimes people feel more comfortable sharing their feelings via this venue. If she is not responsive, you may be forced to move on. It takes time to heal but it’s fundamental to have a committed partner in order to develop a healthy relationship.

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  • 4 weeks later...

You have to be super honest in a long distance relationship. Me and my bf (4 hours apart) have got a rule if the other person doesn't want to skype for WHATEVER reason (tired, previous plans, grumpy etc) the other person will not take it personally etc. I know this sounds hard to do, but you can only be enagaged with a conversation with you! You don't see her you don't want to share her on skype too! If she is tired from study/work have you tried playing an online game against her? E.G. wordpress (like scrabble) that way you know the other person is there without having to chat all the time...

Good luck it is so tough an LDR but honesty has to be the key!

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