You Masturbate but your spouse doesn't

[Acuity]

I'm a little timid in posting this, but what the heck. I masturbate from time to time but my wife doesn't. We talked about it at one point, but she really didn't seem interested in trying it.

 

Being a creative sort, I had a new fantasy. I wanted someone to watch me. So one night when my wife and I were getting it on, I asked if she would watch me. She did and later when we talked about it, she said she didn't really find it all that entertaining. That kind of disappointed me. I thought it would be exciting to watch her enjoy herself but she didn't want to return the favor, as it were.

 

As I said above, she never masturbates and said she's only did it once as a teen out of curiosity. Personally I find masturbation to be relaxing, stress relieving, and a good thing to treat yourself too.

 

About a year ago, I got back in touch with an old high school friend who happened to be a lady. We were talking via email and instant messaging. One day while instant messaging, she admitted that back in high school she had a big crush on me. And following the typical high school drama, I had a crush on her back then, but we never told each other at the time.

 

As we were talking we got a bit naughty and said how much fun it might have been to sneak out or cut class back then to go have sex somewhere. Very jokingly I asked her if she would like to watch me masturbate. To my surprise she said that would interest her.

 

So later that night, we got on instant messaging and starting chatting. She was still interested so we started up our Web cams. After about 20 minutes of shyness, we started taking off our clothes and flashing each other. About 20 minutes after that, we were both masturbating and watching each other masturbate.

 

It was extremely exciting and fun. We did it about 3 more times over the following 6 weeks. After that she said she didn?t want to do it anymore because she had just gotten engaged and "felt uncomfortable" about doing it again.

 

That's when I wondered if I should feel bad because I was married. I didn't think of it as cheating or being unfaithful. I just saw it as two people who were having some harmless fun. Because my wife doesn't like to masturbate, I?ve always felt like I couldn?t be open about it, or talk about it. Sometimes I felt a bit of a freak because of it.

 

With my old friend, I felt we were sharing something we both liked to do from time to time, we could be open about it with each other, and we both knew there was nothing to it. She had a boyfriend, and she knew I was married. She lived two time zones away also.

 

The slight exhibitionist in me was also satisfied. But like I say, I wondered if I should have felt bad because of this experience. I love my wife dearly and would never do anything to hurt her, but to some degree I felt this was nothing more than looking at some porn and pleasuring myself. Instead of some porn on my computer screen, there was just an image of another naked woman who was also watching me. That was a year ago, and the opportunity to find a self-love friend has never presented itself since.

 

What do you all think? Should I feel bad, should I not have done it, is it a big deal? Is it harmless?

 

I?ve been reading this forum for a while now, and I notice on some of these posts people read but don?t reply. I figure it is/was out of embarrassment. I would like to know what other people think and what your opinions are. If you don't want to leave a reply, feel free to drop me a private note at email removed if you like.

 

At some level I felt down after my old high school friend brought up her discomfort after getting engaged. I didn't want to fall into the downcast society places on self-love.

 

Thanks everyone.

[redbelly]

Listen, a lot of women out there will try to convince you that this was in some way shape or form cheating. You didn't do anything wrong. It's exactly like you put it, it was like you were watching porn and masturbating. It was the perfect situation for you, it was a woman you had known since way back when, she lived to time zones away so you know it couldn't go any further, and she wanted to give you something your wife couldn't. Do not feel badly about what you did, I can see how sometimes it may bother you, but don't let it. You did what you did and you had fun with it. I think your sub-conscious allowed you to be able to do it because you knew it couldn't go any further. Honestly, it sounds like if your old h.s. friend was in front of you, I don't think you would've done it because you would have felt as though that was cheating on your wife because it was actual flesh in front of you. You sound like a good guy, who in some way lives life by the book. Take your experience and run with it. Be thankful you didn't try to do that with some psycho chick who would've ended up falling in love with your or something and potentially ruin your marriage. Now, if you were my husband and I found out, I'd want to seriously kick your ass But then again, I just masturbated for my fiancee last night. He loved it. My ultimate goal is to have him let me watch him (because he has a history, let's just say, with masturbation).

[BeenCheated]

Would you have don what you did if your wife was right there watching you? If the answer is no, then you were cheating and you should feel bad.

[redjewel]

if the situation was reversed would you mind if she was doing this?

[jimbucktwo1776]

I'm not a woman, and this IS CHEATING.

 

Cheating does not have to be in person and involve physical contact. Cheating is making an inappropriate connection with someone, when you are committed to someone else.

 

Masturbating with someone-even if over the net, is not honoring your spouse, it is not cherishing your spouse, it's down right disrespectful to them, and it is cheating. As a married person, your body belongs to your wife, and hers to you. Sharing your body with someone else is cheating.

 

Anyone telling you different doesn't understand the sanctity of marriage.

 

You violate your wife's trust in you. You've cheated on her-but if you decide to be honest with her, I'm sure she will forgive you readily because there was no contact.

 

 

This is the truth. And you know it is-don't deny it.

 

 

 

Jimbucktwo1776

 

 

That's that.