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Ex Leaving Breadcrumbs of ANGER behind....for what???


boo700gs

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My ex-gf of 2 years broke up with me for the 2nd time by text after we had our first fight during the reconciliation after a 3 month breakup. She always had trouble committing bc I wasn't yet established in my career bc were different religions and her family would never approve so we decided to try it again without being public about it in order to work on us without the added stresses brought on by bringing her family into the picture. However, I became suspicious of her intentions when I found out she was still texting her ex-bf (who she cheated on me with once very early on in our 1st relationship) and not telling me about it. Even though we weren't officially together, we were trying to reconcile or so she said and I just asked that she be completely honest with me so that I could make my own decisions whether she was worth my investment too.

 

So 2 days after I get the text we sit down and she is unwilling to disclose any details about her conversations with this ex and I had to ask her really embarrassing questions like did talking to him turn you on, which she denied and only served to make her flip out even harder on me. I sent her a text a week later saying to take a day, week, or month to get back to me about my questions and indicated said that she would. 3 weeks later she texts me:

 

ex: i need your help

me: with?

ex: a legal question for my brother

me: ok...

ex: can I call you later?

one hour passes w/o me responding, still furious that she would be asking for something from me before acknowledging that i still had unanswered questions

ex: nevermind, sorry to bug you

around 1am that saturday i texted her "where are you" because i was lonely and she didnt respond

 

Fast forward 4 more weeks to yesterday she calls me 3x in a row sunday night. 5 minutes later she texts me and I try instead to kill her with kindness:

ex: I reached out to you a few weeks ago for help and you blew me off and again today I reach out and it gets no answer and your vmail is full. Whatever that means, I hope everything's going well for you. Clearly I'm not welcome to turn to you in a time of need

10 minutes later

me: Hey sorry I was away from my phone whats up?

her: Nevermind

So I pick up the phone and call her

me: how can i help

ex: I said nevermind S

me: Don't say I didn't reach out.

ex: you didn't last time when I asked for your help with my brother

me: This can't be a oneway street. 3 weeks before that I asked YOU for help to get some closure on what your intentions were with us and you said you would but the first time I hear from you you want something from me.

her: It is a 2-way street. Goodnight.

She calls back shortly thereafter and say "Thank you for calling me back. I don't want us to be enemies. Good night."

 

I hate her guts. She broke my heart into so many pieces and now wants to say IM NOT THERE FOR HER. My friends say she is trying hard to illicit emotions from me. What does that do for her? I have gotten an awesome job since we broke up, got a motorcycle license, gotten lots of female attention, but I don't think she has any reason to know about this nor do I want to rub it in her face at least, for now.

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I think you should just end all contact with her.

 

Did you post before under another name?

 

Thanks Ms. Darcy. No, this is my first post. It must be someone else with a similar story. Just to be clear, I am NC with her until for almost 2 months now and she has contacted me both times asking for help. I don't feel guilty not responding because I think she is playing games, I just want to know whats in that crazy skull of hers...how she has the nerve!

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I think you hit the nail on the head exactly and it POed her no end to be called out on her bad behavior. She didn't come to you until she needed something. And you're correct in that she hasn't been straight up with you, but if she's just using you for personal favors that kind of honesty won't happen. She didn't want to tell you the truth, because then she wouldn't be able to call those favors in on occasion.

 

Just go full NC and delete this girl from your life, she is definitely a one-way street going only in her direction. And you don't deserve that, no one does.

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She comes from a broken family and lives back at home, so I'm sure she has tons of stress in her life and lot of uncertainty. Seems like she wants some male comfort, don't know why she thinks she's entitled to it from me though. Friends think most likely she's still single

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  • 2 weeks later...

We met up tonight. her father was just diagnosed w/ cancer and obvi shes having a real tough time. We slept together and I made her laugh, told her I was there for her, no questions asked. She said her friends chewed her out for calling me because she was sendnig me mixed messages, but I told her I know what the message is --you're confused and thats fine. I'm emotionally detached at this point from worrying about "us" and just concerned about her tbh

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