Deos this seem like a good idea?

[Phoenix Down]

about a month ago ex broke no contact, Asked if I wanted to go out with friends. Things keept coming up. Time passed, started talking more and more (via email), but never asked to go do something again. So I called her up tuesday, and left a message saying a bunch of us we're going out friday, and she was welcome to come if she wanted. She called back and said she had to work all week, and study for a final. I thought she was blowing me off but before we hung up she said she was free next weekend, and If we were doing something to give her a call. Though I want to see her, I feel stupid making all new plans again next week. So Want I plan on doing is sending her a text message on monday wishing her good luck on her final, and leaving it at that. If she calls to check on next weekend, she wants to see me, if not, oh well, keep talking and see where that goes. Yes I want to be back with her, she left me, we dated for 3 years, and have been apart for 5 months. Does any one see anything wrong with this? Let me know. I think It's the best way. Not sure how she feels about getting back together yet.

[hockeyboy]

Yes

[ticklebug]

she cares about you and is trying to be just friends with you while you are still carrying a torch.

 

Until you are over her, and can just be friends...I think it is best to just leave her be and not initiate any invitations.

[Phoenix Down]

she cares about you and is trying to be just friends with you while you are still carrying a torch. quote]

 

I dont understand what you mean.

[ticklebug]

what I mean is - you still want her back...but her actions (and bear in mind here this is coming from a female) is clearly saying "JUST FRIENDS"...it's obvious she doesn't put you first...just because she cares about you, doesn't mean she wants you back...

 

I think she felt after a month you should have been over the relationship and the two of you could star just being friends...but that rarely works...

 

for you to hang out with her in a social setting is only going to hurt you until you get over your feelings. She clearly already has.

 

Until you can talk to her/text her/hang with her without any expectations of anything more...you shouldn't be inviting her anywhere.

[hockeyboy]

id agree but her reason for not going out this weekend is a good one. also, she made it a point that she would like to go out the following weekend.

 

my ex and i broke up..she left me. my situation is very similair. she started calling me and i saw her for the first time in a long time the other night. she has made it clear that theres a good chance things will work out between us.

[Phoenix Down]

So the answer to all our qustions here is , if you love your ex. Walk away? And any time an ex calls it's just to be friends?

[hockeyboy]

So the answer to all our qustions here is , if you love your ex. Walk away? And any time an ex calls it's just to be friends?

 

i know your not talking to me, but certainly not my answer

[Phoenix Down]

Good, cause it just sounds like theres no hope. If the ex is the one who left you why after time and after I said I dont want to do the friend ship thing would she contact me? I'm not saying she wants me, I have no idea. but she wants something. And at this point a friendship wouldent be a bad thing either. Not That I would want to hang out with her all the time, but if we see each other out and about, it wouldent be so strange. Almost like closure which we never had.

[hockeyboy]

she probably doesnt know for sure herself why shes contacting you. what she wants will highly depend on what you give her and what she thinks youve become without her.

[daredevil]

As earlier mentioned in this thread, girls often think that after a month or two you would be over the breakup, so they would like to be friends again.....

 

Two months after my breakup we started to do things again and talk and so on.. but i wasn't over the breakup and misunderstood her signals, because shedidn't tell me anything, so the last night after I had kissed her neck I wrote to her and said sorry this could not continue, because I still saw things in her and i coudn't be around her because of that... she was sorry to hear that, but that was the fact.. and we havent really talked since..

 

My point is.. if they just want to be friends you should really think a lot about it, because if they don't give u any hints about their current status or chances of getting back, then you should be friends with her unlees you could cope with the thought of only a friendly relationship..

 

If you still have feelings then leave her alone... its hard to manage espcially if u start seeing each other close as friends again.. trust me...

 

But still I know im going to talk to her again, but when I don't know. I'm over her so now we could initiate a friendship, if she wishes to.. its all about feelings dude

[Phoenix Down]

What did you do that made you ex change her mind? I dont want or have control, but if I can be myself and still make things go in the right direction thats cool to.

[daredevil]

What I did to change myself... Well we didn't talk for a month after the breakup but then she contacted me on my birthday and then we talked from that day... I invited her to see movie and such.. and then we did it.. But the only thing i changed was no more plreading and giving her space... but still i wanted her back at that time being, so we stopped