Gave her a second (or hundredth) chance, now I'm done.

[oitnb]

So I was vulnerable after my bu, and I gave my mom a second chance to be in my life.

 

I knew she was still doing drugs, but I just needed that mom advice.

 

Yeah I'm done with that now. I went to a fair with my dad, his gf, and the kids today. I think my mom knew something was up. When I got home she drilled me about where I went.

 

I lied, to spare her feelings. She asked me if I was ever going to be around my dads gf. I said "yeah eventually, she's going to be in my life for awhile most likely. It's not like I'm going to a avoid her forever."

 

She then gives me the tenth degree about what that woman did to "us". I said "two people having sex and cheating have nothing to do with me. And honestly mom, this might sting, but your drug problems hurt me a thousand times more than the affair ever did."

 

She flipped. I told her to leave, or I would call police.

 

No more chances for her. She's so selfish and thinks the world revolves around her. She knows how much stress I'm under but still couldn't give a crap less and decides to go and start a fight with me and stress me out tonight.

 

Wow way to care about you daughter. I can't stand her. So immature. And how dumb of me for giving her yet another chance to be part of my life. Not making that mistake again

[SooSad33]

No, you're right, she's NOT going to think of you.. but finally you were honest and told her!

She now needs to let that sink in some!

 

She seems lost & confused though & still hurt from 'this other woman'.

I dont know how long they've been split up or how old YOU are? Do you live on your own?

 

She is the one to realize she DOES need help here. She's falling apart her own way and letting it affect her family..her kids.

Like an alcy.. some just sit in 'denial' and it sucks!

It drains the ppl around that person with the addiction.

 

With her 'acts of selfishness', no she won't see or realize the pressures she's putting on you. Right now- she is married to her drugs.. and her marriage is making her 'blind' to all else, sadly.

I guess you can't expect much more unless or until she is ready and willing to accept she has this problem and is READY to deal with it and WANT to stop. Thats the main thing here...

 

Until then.. yes.. tell her you do NOT want her crap around you. It hurts & you dont need it.

Maybe send her an email? Explain it again, fully and leave it at that.

 

Hopefully she WILL someday let those clouds drift away, where she'll see things more clearly, whats happening with her and 'get it together'. Get herself some help and work on a proper life style.

[Moontiger]

I thought you were going to cut her off until she went to rehab?

[oitnb]

I thought you were going to cut her off until she went to rehab?

 

"So I was vulnerable after my bu, and I gave my mom a second chance to be in my life.

 

I knew she was still doing drugs, but I just needed that mom advice. "

[oitnb]

Thank you. I'm sticking to my guns this time, seriously.

[bulletproof]

And how dumb of me for giving her yet another chance to be part of my life. Not making that mistake again

 

I don't think it's necessarily dumb. Just hopeful- that's human nature. We sometimes think that people will change.

 

Going forward, you just have to re-read your threads here and remember how you felt when she let you down, so it doesn't happen again.

 

Understand also that when people have addiction problems, it blinds them. She is not seeing how her behavior is hurting you. Perhaps consider Al-anon to help you cope?