Going from friend to boyfriend...

[leftme]

Ok, a bit of background. I'm in my early 20's, I'm career focussed and I'm single. I'm also a year out of a 4 year relationship (finally feel completely at ease with it all).

 

There are 3 women in my life at the moment (as friends only) and I'm not sure how to move forward.

 

#1 - I'm not hugely attracted to her but she is to me (her friend told me). I do find her reasonably attractive and she's a lovely person but I just can't see it happening...

 

#2 - I do fancy this one, she's younger at 20 but I've heard she's a tease. I met her a couple of months ago. We talk via facebook chat but I don't have her number. I'd like to date her but I'm worried about her tag as a tease...

 

#3 - The one I'm most interested in. She's attractive, slightly older (25), funny and also career focussed but from money. It would probably be a clash of personalities. I sense some sexual chemistry between us and people have commented on it to me.

 

I don't know what I'm really asking for from you. Maybe a bit of wisdom. I would like to have something with #3 but I'm not sure how love plays into her life plan or how to move it from friends to lovers (is it really possible to transition from friends to that without a frank conversation?). Likewise #2 interests me enough to think about her similarly. But I think #1 would be a mistake as my hearts not in it.

 

Any help would be much appreciated. Thank you.

[missmarple]

#1, it depends on what you mean by 'reasonably'. Sometimes good relationships come out of nowhere and with people that we weren't hugely attracted to in the beginning. If she's lovely and she's attracted to you, why not go on a date with her and see how you feel?

#2, if you talk on facebook, you could ask for her number. I wouldn't worry about the tease tag...you have to make your own impressions about people and that's only if you get to know them yourself.

#3, you'll never be sure how love plays into her life unless you give it a shot. To go from friends to lovers, conversations don't help. If the chemistry is there, it kind of happens by itself. Surely you know how to flirt.

In all 3 cases I see potential but in all 3 cases you sound very unsure and like you're looking for obstacles. Life is not a romance novel, you can't expect everything to be perfect. Are you sure you're ready for a new relationship?