I'm shy and inexperienced, but might she be interested?

[Carnatic]

I'm not really sure what kind of advice I'm looking for here. Writing about things makes it easier though as I usually have difficulty getting situations clear in my head.

 

There's a girl I'm interested in, in my department at Uni. I met her nearly 2 months ago at a social, but we haven't had many since. She is also in a different year to me so I maybe only see her about once a week.

 

When I first met her, I got the impression that she might be interested in me, trying to look for the signs you often hear to look for like touching her hair, biting of the bottom lip, leaning into me and staying talking to me, even though there were lots of other people around on the social.

 

The problem is that I'm shy enough as it is, without the fact I only see her occasionally and usually when one of us is on our way to a lecture. We'll stop and talk for ten minutes or so, but sometimes all I get is a smile and a wave, and when we do talk I find it difficult to move from small talk and asking questions about her. I never feel like it's the right moment. I feel that if she ever was interested in me then she is losing interest, or beacuse I'm shy she doesn't think I'm interested.

 

A couple of times I've made suggestions; once that I was typing an essay in the cafe till late, and she could maybe pop round and see me after her lecture; but she didn't. Then we were organising a department social and I rang her to invite her, but it was too late notice. Just recently I was talking to her after lectures and asked if she wanted to take a break from work to go get a coffee, but she said she had too much to do.

 

Am I to take these rejections as a sign she definitely isn't interested? I don't want to do anything blatant like ask her out, as my mates are saying I should do, because I've been rejected so many times, both by girls in clubs I made a move on and by girls like her that I've got to know a bit better first, and it never stops to hurt and knock my confidence. I'm 22 and I've never had a girlfriend and only had one kiss, which meant nothing. I often wonder, maybe if I wasn't so shy and inexperienced I would notice more if there are girls take an interest in me. But I never know what to do.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.

 

Carnatic

[acts12]

You sound like you are worried too much about being rejected, and my guess is that this is showing in your body language around these girls too. My advice would be to adopt the additude that you really dont care what a girl thinks or that she might "approve" of you. Just be you and dont puppy dog around with thses girls. Just be straight up. When you want to ask a girl out, and the timing is good. Then do it. IF she says no, or that she is too busy, then take it as a no, and move on. If she is playing games and testing you, then that is her problem, SHE MISSED OUT. But when you take what they say for what it is, and dont really worry too much about the outcome, you will have much more sucess and it will leave them guessing because all of a sudden you stick to what they say, so they will too. If they are playing games, and she feels she missed out, then I can guaruntee that the next time you ask her out, if you ever do, she will go out with you.

 

That the best advice I can give you.

[Carnatic]

Not what i wanted to hear, but it's what I felt in my gut; and this is the reason why I use these forums rather than ask my mates. Just best I suppose that I accept now that she isn't interested rather than pursue her and end up developing strong feelings towards her.

 

Thanks mate, I'm sure I'll eventually find a girl that is interested in me, and more importantly that I'm interested in too.